My Best Friend
by maryaun
Summary: Updated: 13 Jan, AEST. This takes place after Gail witnesses Holly on her date at The Penny (beginning of episode 4x12). The interrogation room kiss never happened (4x12). Written in Gail's POV, with her inner voice making an appearance.
1. Chapter 1

It has been a monumentally shitty day. First there was the spilling of orange juice on my only clean uniform._ I blame Holly for that._ Then I almost drove over my crotchety old neighbor. Then Chloe got shot in the neck. Then I got shot at. And now Oliver is missing.

_Is that gum on my shoe? Perfect!_

"We just got word, they have found Oliver," Steve says knocking my feet from my desk. _Yay!_ I finally take that deep breath I had been holding in for so many hours. With that one breath, all the anxiety of the day so far has suddenly left my body. "Best wants you and Chris down there to help clear the scene. Grab your stuff, ok?" He says looking at his phone before answering it.

"Gail!" I hear my name called from across the to room. _Why is my happiness always so short lived?_ I turn around and see Holly near the front desk.

_Man, she looks really worried. I wonder what this is about... She has never come to see me here before... and now my anxiety is back._

I wave her over as I feel Steve's hand grab my shoulder. "That was Best, Ford is in the station," he whispers in my ear.

"I -I know." I feel an instant chill down my spine as I see Ford forcefully making his way through the crowd. _Is that a rifle? _

I return my gaze to Holly who is gracefully walking to towards me, none the wiser of the shit storm that is about to hit all of us. _Can this day get any worse?_

The sound is deafening. Holly grabs her ears and I lunge towards her and take her straight into my arms and spin her around to shield her from any wayward flying bullets. I never imagined our first embrace would be because of some nut job shooting at us. _Seriously Gail, you are thinking about this now?_

As we start to purposely fall to the ground I feel Chris and Steve's bullets whizzing past my head, before my body is viciously propelled forward.

_Yup, I have fallen on top of Holly. Oh, and I can't breathe!_

I feel Holly lift me off her and turn me onto my back like I weigh nothing more than a feather. _She has muscles!_

"Gail, look at me, can you hear me? Please Gail, say something," she whimpers.

I hear her. She is very beautiful when she is worried. Beautiful, and a bit blurry. _I just need to close my eyes for a bit._

"Gail wake up! No no no! Please! You are my best friend and I have only just found you. Wake up, wake up dammit!"

I slowly open my eyes and catch my breath. "Stop shaking me, Nerd."

She pulls me half up so I'm leaning forward, but still on the floor. I feel her hands ferociously grab at the Velcro on my vest. She pulls it off, then casts it aside.

"Hey, that's evidence" I say. _And... she's ignoring me_.

She's now tugging at my shirt, basically ripping off the buttons. Her brain running a mile a minute I suspect. I just go with it. She spins me around on the floor as I feel her hands all over the bare skin of my back. I can feel all the tiny hairs on my body stand on end. This is a day of firsts for us.

Her hands make their way around my abdomen as she explores my stomach. _Mmm, soft hands. I suppose I am not surprised, she wears gloves all day._Her hands pass over my belly button and I suddenly shiver.

"Fuck, did I hurt you?" _Holly just swore! I like it._

Her hands still on my stomach, I bite my bottom lip and quickly shake my head. "Y -your hands are cold." _Plus I'm ticklish there. She doesn't need to know that_.

"Oh" she says retracting them quickly. I watch her take a deep breath as she drops down on the floor beside me. She wipes the tears from her eyes. "You're fine, you're fine." She repeats over and over. _I am fine, but fuck, you're crying!_

"You're crying?!" _That wasn't supposed to come out like a question._

"Nice observation, Officer". She jabs back, as she picks up my vest and grazes her fingers over the bullet hole.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I say, knowing exactly what she is going to say next.

"You saved me," she says with new tears falling. _And there it is..._

I don't like it when people cry. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but this is making my heart break a little bit. I give her a small smile and shrug my shoulders. "It was nothing." I say casually as if it was no big deal.

Holly cocks her head. "Seriously?"

I laugh. _She looks maaaadddd._

* * *

"It's been an hour, Traci, can I go yet?"

"Shut up, Gail, and sit there" she says. _How rude!_

Steve walks in smiling "You have the all clear, though you are going to be pretty sore in the morn..." I'm already out the door.

I find Holly pacing in hallway, shaking her hands out violently as if she just thought of something terrible, and is trying to physically extract it from her big brain. I can't blame her, it has been a big day, something no one should ever experience.

As I slowly approach her I can hear her mumbling something. "Stupid fucking guns" I hear.

"Gail!" _Shit!_ _I've startled her; I wish I hadn't done that._

"Come with me". I grab her arm and drag her into the locker room. I push her onto the closest bench. "Holly, take a seat will you?" I say pleadingly as I hand her a cup of water. "Give me a minute to change and we can get out of here. Did you drive here?" She didn't answer, as she was too busy dipping her finger in her water. "Holly!"

"Wait, what?" She exclaims.

"I said did you drive here today?"

"Ah... Yes, I did" she says, returning her fingers to her water.

"Well you can give me a lift then." I grab the first shirt I see in my locker. I pause for a second, and shake my head repeatedly in disbelief. "You shouldn't have been here today," I say quietly.

"Gail? -I"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I cut her off. _Don't add to her worry, Gail. _I take off my shirt, leaving my black under shirt on. I reach up high into my locker to hang it up, and I hear Holly gasp. I quickly turn around. "Wah? What's wrong?" I ask fearfully.

With tears falling again, she is points at my back, while masking her face. I look down and see my top has ridden up above my ribs, exposing a rather large and gnarly looking bruise. I quickly pull my top down and throw the other shirt over it. "It's fine, Holly. It barely even hurts." I say lying through my teeth._ This kills like a motherfucker. Getting shot sucks!_

Holly's hands run tensely through her hair. She leans forward cupping her face, her elbows digging into her thighs. I don't think I have ever been so worried about someone. _Ever. _I slide up next to her, and tentatively put my arm around her shoulder giving it a light pat. "I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up about this. Please?" Holly slowly lifts her face up towards mind and stares into my eyes for seems like forever, though it's only been a few seconds. She wipes her tears without breaking eye contact. I lean in a bit, reassuringly I squeeze her shoulder. "I'm fine, Holly, OK? We're fine." I say softly. _I guess I shouldn't tell her I got shot at twice today. _Before she has time to reply I grab my bag, and I take hold of Holly's hand to pull her up. "Let's get outta here."

* * *

It's very quiet on the drive home. Neither Holly nor I say a word. I'm feeling physically incapable of speaking, but I really need to make sure she's ok. Holly pulls into my driveway and I undo my seat belt and turn towards her. "I think you should come in with me. Have a coffee or something, order a pizza? I don't think you should be alone right now, and... I don't want to be either." _Personal honesty, that's interesting. Good, she's nodding. That's a start._

I walk slowly up the steps towards the front door, Holly closely following behind. I think it's the perfect time for some meaningless small talk. "You know, I spilt OJ all over my uniform this morning and I'm pretty sure it's all your fault". I chuckle. _You are so stupid; you are NOT about to tell why it's her fault. _"Anyway..."

I put the key to the door, but they fall to the ground, I bend over to pick them up_. Nope, I can't hold this in. _"Jesus Christ" I yell as I grab my lower back and immediately stand up straight without picking up the keys. "Wow that hurt." I laugh it off.

I can hear Holly backing away from me. I turn and see her with her hands in the air like she is under arrest.

"Gail, I -I can't." She says.

I raise my eyebrows_. You can't what?_

"_I_ can't do this... be your friend."

Before I have a chance to respond, she's made a run for it.

I'm running after her, hand on my side, trying to support my back. But I have to stop almost immediately. _You fool; you think you can catch up to her?_

"Holly, I don't DO running, you know that" I yell at her. "Athletic freak." I mumble to myself.

_There she goes. My best friend._


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry about my tense, grammar, whatever are all over the place. Forgive me.**

_What just happened?_

That's all I think about as I sit in front of the tv, ice cream in hand, feeling guiltier by the mouthful. A few spoonfuls have missed my mouth and landed on my pants. I really don't care at this point.

I play with my phone, as I will it to ring. _She will call any second, I know it_.

What I've quickly come to learn about Holly is that she never leaves anything unsaid. She always uses her words. _So. Many. Words._ But it's been two hours and I have heard nothing, so it must be serious but I know I can't sit here much longer when I feel like this. I feel sick and it's not the ice cream. The knots in my stomach are getting tighter by the minute.

Without a second thought I press speed dial 3 on my phone.

"Traci, are you still at work?" I say with a tremble in my voice. _I hope she didn't notice_.

"I am" she says. "What's up? You guys doing okay?".

"I am fine Traci. Can you do me favour? Look up Holly's address for me?"

"Gail? What's wrong?" Her voice drops.

"Nothing. Please Tracy, just do this for me?" I would have thought she would have known by now I hate it when people answer questions with questions.

"Okay, okay, I'm doing it." She quips.

"Thank you" I sigh with relief.

* * *

I press the buzzer a few times and I take a few steps back and look up at Holly's building, it's leaning over me, mocking me, making me feel as small as ever. _Answer_. Buzz. _The fucking. Buzz_. _Door_. Buzz.

I usually revel in the thought of a confrontation, it's when I'm at my best. But my nerves are shot, and this particular confrontation isn't very appealing to me right now.

"Yeah" I hear on the speaker.

"Holly it's Gail, can I speak to you?"

"No."

"No?."

"Yes."

"That's a yes?"

"No, that's a yes to your no."

"Holly, I'm confused."

"Not unusual for our conversations, Gail." _Aww.._ _She made a joke :) _

"Gail, I don't want to speak to you right now. Please leave me alone." _That's my line!_

"Hol.." I say before the the speaker goes dead. _She is really not going to talk to me, is she?_

"I'm not leaving" I shout towards the building. _She can't hear you, Gail._

I walk towards the cement wall surrounding the overly landscaped garden and gingerly lift my self up on the ledge to sit down.

It's 6pm. 45 minutes later, and I am not sure what I am expecting to happen, but I am hoping she may leave her apartment at some point to I dunno, get food, go for a run, walk the dog. _She doesn't have a dog_.

"Ow, my ass" I say aloud. I shift against the cold hard surface as I hear the security door open. _Please be Holly, please be Holly._

Holly walks slowly down the path towards the street light, fumbling for something in her bag. She adorably drops her glasses from the top of her head to her nose, before pulling out her keys.

"Hey, lunchbox". I call.

She turns around quickly and drops her bag.

"You're stalking me now?" Voice slightly raised as she leans down to pick up her bag.

I shrug my shoulders, as I'm not sure how to answer that. "I'm worried about you." I surprisingly admit.

"Gail, don't be be. And I thought I told you I didn't want to talk, why can't you respect that?"

"Sorry, it's not in my nature." I say only half sarcastically. _She's not impressed._

She stands still for a second and looks at me before turning and walking away. I hop off the wall and run, as quickly as I physically can towards her. Reaching for her elbow, I turn her around, as my hand drops down to her wrist, squeezing tightly so she can't escape. I see her look with surprise at my hand gripping hers, so i drop contact and take one step back. I invaded her personal space. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I wipe a rolling tear from my cheek. _This is new for me. _I can tell she wants to say something by the way her lips part as she hesitantly moves forward a fraction, but I need to get in first.

"I heard you. In the station. Before you ripped off my clothes? You said I was you best friend."

"Well... I -I ." She stutters.

"I've never really had a best friend, Holly, even when I was younger. But I'm pretty sure best friends don't blow each other off like that. You knew I was worried about you and I was trying to comfort you. You know that is hard for me to do, right? I don't do that for just anyone.

I'm not the bravest police officer, or the smartest. But I am extremely loyal to my friends and colleagues I work with. We protect each other everyday. It's part of the job. But I feel... _Suck it up, Gail you're on a roll. _"I feel... You threw it all back in my face."

I take a few steps back and drop my hands to my hips. _That's it, that's all I'm gonna say. Your turn. _She looks stunned, like a wounded dog. I have spilled my guts so she has no choice but to explain this to me.

"Before, at your house, seeing you in pain? I couldn't take it. I wasn't sure I could handle being your friend because..." She pauses. "You got hurt Gail! You shielded me from a bullet. A bullet! I know now it's not my fault. You were just being you, you are selfless, you can't help it."

Praise is something I'm not used to, and for it to be genuine? I feel a little overwhelmed.

"But it scared the hell out of me." She continues.

_Is this the 'you're a police officer, your job is too dangerous' speech? Oliver said this would happen someday. Oh, she's not finished._

"My job is morbid Gail, and for some reason I like it. I spend my time with corpses!

But these past few weeks I have found myself thinking more about these people. More than I should. And in my line of work it's not healthy. I can't be be distracted, there are too many people depending on me.

You see, I realised that there is a higher risk that _you_ could easily be on one of my colleagues table one day. Even someday soon." _I should probably say something reassuring right now_.

"I just need time Gail. To think."

"No." I say immediately.

"No?"

"Yes!." I giggle. She gives me a wry smile.

"I can't accept that. I have given you 3 hours to come to your senses, and I think that's enough." I say. _Way to stick to you guns, Gail._

"I am so grateful for what you did for me today, Gail, but I have to go." I catch a tear falling down her face as she turns to walk to her car.

Before I know it I can't stop myself. "Please, don't leave me". Something I've wanted to say my whole life, but never could.

Holly stops, and shakes her head as she turns around and leans on her car for support. I wait for her to say something, it's been too long without words, especially from her. An inevitable wave of fear crashes over me. She smiles gently at me and I know she won't. _She won't leave me today._


	3. Chapter 3

My previous visits here have never been easy, but knowing Holly is here in the hospital waiting for me, makes me feel a little bit calmer. At least I know she will never sleep with one of my exes.

She walks straight up to me as soon as I come out of radiology. "Did you want to go see Dov and Chloe?"

"Nah, I saw them both last night, so I've filled up my weekly nerd time quota" I joke. "I am really glad for Dov's sake that Chloe is awake and almost back to being her annoying self." Holly rolls her eyes at me. "You just can't stop that mouth of yours can you?" I shake my head. _Nope._

I may have been a little freaked out earlier, but now that it's over I am glad I can walk down the street with Holly and forget about the last 30 minutes.

"Holly, thanks for coming with me today. I don't know what it is, but that particular doctor always freaks me out."

"Not worries, I think owed you..." She trails off.

I don't disagree. Though I'm not entirely sure if she is referring to me taking a bullet (for which she owes me nothing) or for her somewhat questionable, but understandable behaviour the other night. However, I think I need to show her it's not necessary. "Enough, already lunchbox" I say, as I loop my arm in hers.

"Okay, okay, I'm done. I will never mention it again." She chuckles. "So? How did the scan go?"

"Oh it's all good. No damage done." I say convincingly for the first time.

She removes her arm from mine reaches into her bag. She is practically jumping up and down. "I have a surprise for you".

"Lunchbox, I thought you'd know your audience by now?"_ I hate surprises._

"Well actually I have a few surprises for you today" she quips.

"Great..." I roll my eyes. I have a feeling she is trying to make up for something.

"Here" she whips out a pink iced donut and places it my hand, then licks her finger. Beaming, she looks back and forth between the donut and me, but it seems as though I'm missing something... "Ha" she says happy with herself as she squishes a cheese puff on top. _She's too cute._

I can't help but laugh.

We reach her car, and I get in the passenger side. She is kneeling on her seat as she frantically searches for something.

"So what is this other surprise then? I'm not sure you can top the last one. It was very sweet of you." _I am completely serious._

She stops what she is doing for a moment and frowns at me, then punches my arm. "Ow!" She doesn't believe me. This is the one time I am actually telling her as it is. I have gotten so good at deflecting everything that now it all sounds the same. _How depressing._

She restlessly sits down in her seat. "I would show you the other surprise if I could just find my fucking phone. Gail, give me yours. I'm going to call it." She says holding her hand out towards me.

I don't hesitate to hand it over as her current look of determination is kinda scaring me. "Number 7" I tell her.

She is looking at me with that stupid face. The 'im-a-nerd-and-i-think-I'm-about-to-say-something- funny' face. So I wait for it.

"7!" She exclaims. "I'm a 7?"

Even though it's the lamest thing I have ever heard, I know I should come back with some provocative reply, she all but expects it, but I can't, its just sooooo bad. "Just ring the damn phone already will you?"

She starts entering the combination. "I'm at least a 9" I hear her mumble under her breath. _No comment._ She won't stop smirking, so at least she finds it amusing.

I feel a vibration under my chair, so I reach down and pull the phone out between my legs and hand it back to her. She unlocks her phone and quickly finds what she is looking for, then hands it straight back to me. "Why am I looking at a photo of a house? Holly, did you buy me a house?"

She snickers as I hand the phone back to her. "No precious, that's my house. I inherited it, but I don't use it very much as I am always working. But seeing as we have both been forced out of work the next few days, we're going!" I raise an eyebrow. _Are we now?_

"Actually it was Steve's idea", she says after noticing the subtle look of shock on my face. "So Steve, Traci and Chris are coming with us." _I'll kill him_. "It about 70 miles from here, on a lake. It's quite beautiful."

"You know normally I would scoff at the thought of something like this but I am going to shut up and not say another word."

"I think that's very a wise move," she says. I thought I should give her this one. She did after all just give me a donut.

She turns the ignition and starts the car as I lie back on my seat and turn my head towards her. "There will be alcohol, right?"

"Yes, Gail" she exhales, breathing out all the air in her lungs. I think I am exhausting her with my lack of enthusiasm.

"Holly?"

"Yes, Gail" she says still in the same tone.

"I love my donut." She turns and glances at me and I take a bite hoping she knows I'm serious. _Of course she knows._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the lovely comments!**

**annabanana6 - i promise, very soon :)**

All I hear is laughing, which is a welcome change considering the last 72 hours. I know I have been pretty quiet today, but my back has been bothering me and I thought alcohol would mask it, both the psychological and physical pain of it all. I feel like I'm jumping out of my own skin. That day has been playing on my mind. Vivid flashes of Ford and that rifle and Holly's beaming face coming towards me. It makes me shiver all over.

"Gail, are you playing or what? Traci asks as she deals the next hand.

"No, I'm out." I smile at Holly who seems to been glaring at me again. I have noticed her do that a few times in the past hour. It's her you-say-everything-is-fine-but-really-it-isn't" face. _She sees right through you_.

"Actually, I think I might go to bed". I stand up and kiss Steve on the cheek. I walk past Holly and give her a playful squeeze on her shoulders. I walk through the sliding door into the house. "Night losers".

* * *

"Chris! Stop! Bloody! Snoring! I am never sleeping with you again." _Ever_.

I quietly get out of bed before realising I am wearing only a bra and shorts. I forgot that Chris would be bunking with me, so I quickly throw on a tank top and tip toe out of the room. Who am I kidding? I just yelled at him, nothing could wake him.

I drum my fingers on the door across the hallway then slowly peak in. I had seen a light on so why wouldn't I let myself in?

Holly looks up from her book and pushes her glasses to the top of her head.

"Chris is snoring, can I sleep in here... with you?" _Gulp_.

"Of course you can." She's says without a second thought. She drops her glasses back over her eyes and goes back to her book.

I casually wander around her room and stop at the photos on her mantle. A few small ones surround a large frame of what I can only assume is Holly when she was a little girl with her parents. They are standing on the jetty down by the lake on this very property. _So adorable. _I need to break the silence. "Did your parents give you this house?"

"Yes, in a way, they died when I was six." She says not taking her eyes away from her book.

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"That's ok" she shrugs. "It is what it is." I can tell from her tone she doesn't want to talk about it. _Change the subject_.

I run my fingers over the books in her bookcase, and I read a few of the titles out out-loud.

"'Anatomy of the Blue Whale'". _Interesting_.

"Haha, 'Forensics for Dummies', maybe I should read this?"

"Maybe you should! My Ex bought me that. It was a joke". "Obviously" I say, not very warmly I might add. Holly scoffs.

I notice an inscription on the first page, so I can't _not_ read it.

'My dearest Hollykins'. _Okay, spew._

'I will love you always.' _How original._

'Yours, Heidi.' _What a stupid name_.

I close it quickly and shove it back into the shelf, doing the same with my thoughts. _Moving on then..._

"Anatomy of the Prairie Dog".

"The animal anatomy books were my dads," she states. _Cool_.

"The Lesbian Kama Sutra" I hold it up and show it to Holly as if she's never seen it before, though she doesn't even look.

She smirks into her book. "Would you believe me if I told you it was for purely science related purposes?"

"Um, nooooo." I draw I out. _Hmm, kinky!_

I open the first page and check for the elusive 'Heidi' inscription. _Nothing_. I place it back in the shelf.

I walk over to the bed and Holly shifts over to make a bit more room for me. I prop myself up next to her.

I poke her book. "Whatcha readin'?"

"It's called 'Go To Sleep Gail'." _LOL_.

"Funny." I shift down into the bed and lie on my side facing away from her. "Sounds boring. Maybe you should read it to me so I can fall asleep.

I can feel the bed shaking from her silent laughing.

I hear her close her book and hop out bed. I turn over and watch her walk over to the ensuite bathroom. Her hair falls to her shoulders as she pulls the tie, then she removes her sweater and closes the bathroom door. A minute later she opens the door and I quickly turn back over. The scent of her moisturiser wafts through the room. She suddenly jumps on the bed, which propels me slightly into the air. She giggles. She gets under the covers and I hear turn off her lamp. Her weight shifts and I roll against her, as she leans over me to turn off the lamp on my bedside table, but she stops mid air and I feel her hand softly touch the curve of my back between my ribs and hip. Her palm is warm against my skin. She grazes her fingers over my bruise. I'm sure she can see and feel the goosebumps she is giving me.

"Holly? I can hear you thinking."

There are no apologies, she just pulls my top back down, reaches over me and turns the lamp off, and then sinks into the bed and onto her back. I feel her let out a deep breath. For many hours I have been struggling with thoughts of that day, so it's only natural she would be too. It probably doesn't help that I am right next her, a constant reminder of how short life could be. And now my black and blue skin is the last thing she will see before she closes her eyes. It's taking all my will power not to turn over and hold her. Not that I am really into cuddling or anything. Maybe I should just do it? She is always hugging everyone she sees, so what's a hug between friends? In bed?

_I'm gonna do it! _I turn over and look at her just inches away from me. Her eyes are closed, but I know she is awake. My hands are sweaty and my chest is tight. This can only mean one thing... I am losing my nerve. I move my hand towards Holly's face wanting to brush the hair from her eyes, but I can't. My nerve, it's gone. _I am so scared_._  
_

I still need to stop her from thinking bad things, so I do what I do best.

"Ni ni Hollykins" I say in a cutesy teasing tone. _That should do it._

"Motherfuck..."_I can't believe you just kicked me!_

She laughs. "Sweet dreams, Gail."


	5. Chapter 5

My heart is beating a mile a minute, as I wrench my body up straight and wipe the sweat from my forehead before quickly checking on Holly. She is sound asleep. _At least one of us is. _The last time I looked at the clock on the bedside table it was 4:15am. It's only 4:30am now. I have only managed 15 minutes of sleep, but I am afraid to close my eyes again.

Holly has been sleeping for 4 hours, and for most of that time I had lay there, listening to her breathing in and out.

I gently edge out of bed and make my way towards the door. As I open it, I hear Holly turn over. I really don't want to have to explain my sudden exit. _Please don't wake up now_.

After successfully bumping into everything in the lounge room I pick up some sweats and put them on, grab a blanket and head out the front door as I make my way down to the jetty. The air is crisp, and I take in a few deep breaths before I sit and hang my legs over the edge and look at my reflection in the water, which is glistening from the moonlight.

_Damnit_. I hear the door to the house open and close. I just know its Holly. _She is relentless!_

I need to pull myself together; I've had enough of this crap. I just want to be calm and light. I shake it off, and I decide that's what I'll be. She doesn't need to know about the crazy shit that's going on in my head.

"I wasn't snoring too was I?" Holly calls from the other end of the jetty.

"No". I say as she sits down next to me.

She grabs the blanket from my shoulders and wraps it around us both, casually as you like. Clearly she's not feeling the tension like I am. She goes into her pocket and pulls out a Kit Kat, breaks it in half and gives a piece to me. "Sweet!" I say. "It's never too early for chocolate." She nods in agreement.

I know she wants to say something. "Penny for your thoughts?" _My thoughts? You want to know my thoughts... Let see..._

I open my mouth, intending on answering with some lie, but I surprise myself at the words that come out. "I have a confession to make..." _No you don't!_

Holly turns to me and raises her eyebrows in concern. "This sounds ominous_"._

I drop my head back, close my eyes and restlessly sigh.

"What is it Gail?"

"Worrying is like your default setting isn't it, Holly?"

"Not usually, just when I'm around you."

"Well it's giving me a headache," I say coldly.

"When I see a friend in pain, or whatever you have going on here," her hands gesturing around my body, "I can't just leave it alone."

I nod, "I know."

"Just tell me Gail, I won't break, despite recent history, I'm braver than you might think, ma friend." _There's that word again. 'Friend'._

"I haven't been sleeping" I nearly interrupt her.

"I gathered, seeing that's its 4:30 in the morning and we are out sitting in the cold".

"I probably need a therapist for this shit," I admit.

"You should, it helped me." She says.

"You're in therapy?" It surprises me, she always seemed so together. _Maybe that's why._

_"_Not exactly. Your boss offered it to me in light of what happened the other day, so I went the next morning. It really helped me realise some things."

"Like what?"

"That I can't control people's actions, or reactions. But you would know that, you're a police officer. You see all kinds of horrible shit people do everyday."

_Is she serious?_ "Holly, you examine dead people all day!"

"I know, but it's not the same. You actually have to sometimes witness with your own eyes the things that happen to these people."

I want to reassure her that's not entirely the case. "It isn't always like this, far from it really. I helped deliver a baby once!"

"No you didn't." She scoffs.

"I did! I held the ladies hand and did all that ridiculous breathing crap." I can tell Holly is impressed by the way she is looking at me. I lean my head back again, this time I look at the stars. "It was actually kind of amazing." We sit in silence for a while, Holly occasionally glancing at me. I already know she thinks I'm insane, but I like it.

"Promise me you will make an appointment?" She asks.

"I will, I promise." _I'd do anything for you._

"Anyway, I'm sick of talking about me." I want to steer any future conversation away from myself, so I ask her the first thing that pops into my head. "I never asked you how your date went the other night?" _Oh no you didn't!_

"Yeah, it was okay I guess. Though I'm not sure we really had much in common."

"Oh, why not?"

"She is a Flight Attendant or is it Air Hostess?" I laugh. I don't mean to, not that I have got anything against flight attendants, it's a perfectly fine job, but I could never really imagine Holly with one.

"Anyway, I definitely don't want to see her again, because there is someone else I have been on a few dates with that I really like." She says it so matter-of-factually.

"Oh really? Spill it, Lunchbox." I just dread the words coming out of my mouth right now.

"What's she like?" _Ugh_.

"I dunno. She's funny. Kind of sweet in weird way I guess."

"You guess? I need details, Holly." _Do I really?_

"Fine!" She says pointedly as she drops her head onto my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck. "You could say she's beautiful. Actually more like jaw-droppingly beautiful. " _Stab me in the heart why don't you._

"Wait!. No. She is so beautiful you just want to scratch your own eyes out because she is just so damn blinding."

"Okay, okay, I get it. She's 'beeeauuutiful'. You're are pretty funny you know that?"

"I know". She says very nonchalantly.

"So... Who is this 'beautiful' woman then?" I ask insistently. _Kill. Me. Now._

I feel Holly quickly take my hand in hers then rest them both in my lap. She turns my hand over and lays it on top of hers as she gently rubs her thumb against my palm. _Um, what are you doing?_

I feel her breath on my neck as she shifts her body, moving her other hand towards the ones in my lap. A tingly sensation courses through my body as her finger tip brushes over my fingers. With it she starts to trace something into my palm. _Oh, I know this game! _She starts on the top left hand side of my palm and draws straight down, swinging it to the other side and moving it back up again, before repeating it again and again. It takes me a few seconds to figure it out.

It is a 'U'.


	6. Chapter 6

**Again, thanks for all the wonderful comments.**

**Gleesaved - Thank you!**

**Chapters 1-6 were planned out in detail from the beginning, hence the regular updating. So at the moment I'm not sure where the story is going to go, so it will probably take me some time before I update. Plus, I thought I should probably do some work so I can eat and not die.**

**And here comes the mushy stuff...**

* * *

_She's not tracing out any other letters, Gail. THERE ARE NO. MORE. LETTERS! Say something, Gail. SAY SOMETHING!_

Holly is still holding my hand. _This silence is torture._ Minutes are ticking by, but I can't bring myself to move or speak. I am so petrified of what is going to come out my mouth. However, I know it has to be me that breaks the silence.

I hear Holly take a deep breath in through her nose, as she tentatively raises her head from my shoulder. With her free hand she lifts my hand from my lap releasing her other hand from beneath it, then considerately places my hand back into my lap. She spins her legs around, removing herself from the blanket, and then places it back over my shoulders. Even when she is about to bolt, she is still taking care of me.

"Hol wait, fuck! Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to bed." She looks me straight in the eye, a last ditch effort to get any sort of reaction from me. Her eyes are pained, like I have just crushed her soul with my silence. _Actually, I know I have._

She turns around and I reach to grab her wrist, but I miss it. She is already too far away, walking up the jetty towards the house and out of my life forever. _Okay, that's a bit dramatic, Gail._

I jump to my feet, keeping hold of the blanket. "Holly, please stop running away." I shout.

"I'm not the one running, Gail." She calls back. _You're right._

"If you don't stop right now I'm going to jump into this lake. I may or may not know how to swim, so it will be your turn to save me."

Holly slows down before gradually coming to a stop at the end of the jetty. As I stealthily and quickly approach her, I watch her shake her head repeatedly in what only can be confusion or utter madness from my complete lack of sense of timing.

I stand behind and drop the blanket. With new found adrenaline I gently brush the hair from her neck, my fingers lightly grazing her ear. She flinches at my sudden presence. I move my hands to either shoulder and slowly slide them down her arms, her skin reacting to my touch. I stop just above her elbows and hold on for dear life. I place a kiss between her shoulder blades before dropping my forehead to rest there. I can feel the warm tears rolling down my face, and so does she. I shake my head. She's broken me, but not in a bad way. I am scared of what's to come, what the rest of the day will bring. I know I need to process this, but it can't be now.

She turns around and takes my hands in hers, my eyes still facing directly towards the ground. I can feel her gaze on me, as I watch her intertwine her fingers with mine. It makes me smile, and I know I'm ready to see her now.

I move my hands back to her arms as I watch a tear stream down her cheek. I catch it gently with my thumb, and then brush her hair from her face. "You are such a beautiful nerd."

She chokes on her tears, I'm hoping happily surprised at my chosen words. I lean into the hand on my cheek. "You are beautiful too."

Those words always make me feel weird, this time is no exception. "Should I get you some sunglasses? What was I again? Blinding?" _Nice one. _She rolls her eyes and nods, acknowledging she has lost this round. I figure there is no harm in a little teasing. That's what our whole relationship until now has thrived upon. It's why, at least for me, we became friends in the first place. She could dish it out as well as she got.

I take her hands and move them around my back, before I move my hands to her hips and pull her in closer. She is definitely making me do all the work, but I know it's because she knows it's a step I have to take for myself. My hands are sweaty and my chest is getting tight, but this time it isn't going to stop me. I remove the errant strand of hair from her eyes and slowly lean in and lightly press my lips against hers. I don't linger for long and I pull back to stare into her eyes, but they are still closed. I smirk and quickly peck again, giving her no time to reciprocate.

Now she is smirking. "Gail, what are you up to?" _I have got you where I want you._

"Payback."

She's surprised. "Payback? For what?"

"Do you recall a certain incident in a cloakroom?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes... When you were asking me all those stupid questions?"

"And?"

"You were just so curious, it was too adorable. I couldn't resist, I had to shut you up. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure you kissed me ba..."

I forcefully grab the back of her head and pull her in, urgently crashing my lips against hers, all but making me forget how annoying she is. Her soft, warm lips taste like chocolate, as I graze her bottom lip with my tongue. I can feel her smiling against my lips, which makes me smile too. Her hands move down to my hips hitching up my top, and she hums when her fingers make contact with my skin. She lightly runs her nails up and down the sides of my rib cage, and I feel the sensation all over my body. It's the best pain ever when her nails run over my bruise. Her hands drop into mine as she breaks our kiss, and I take a step back to catch my breath. It's not long before she pulls me back in wrapping her hands around my back, tightly embracing me.

"Holly, I have another confession to make. I don't really 'do' hugs."

"Too bad, dork." She mumbles into my neck and leaves a soft kiss there.

* * *

My hands shield my eyes, the sun is too blinding for this time of morning.

"Holly? I know you like touching me, but can you stop poking me in the ass.

"Probably a stick, Gail."

I hear a cough. "Uhhum... Girls?" As I look directly above me, I see a silhouette suddenly blocking the sunlight. My eyes start to adjust and I'm pretty sure it's Traci. "Um, what are you guys doing?"

I stay silent for a moment to collect my thoughts. "What does it look like?" _Hmm, how should I play this?_

"Well it kinda looks like you guys are lying on the grass under a blanket. How long have you been out here?"

"Glad to see you use those finely honed detective skills, Nash. I couldn't sleep." I simply state.

Traci looks towards Holly, who is still lying with her eyes closed. Traci is waiting for her answer.

"Last night I heard some weird noises coming from one of the bedrooms." I deflect.

I see her scowling at me, before I feel a light kick to my shoulder. "Shut up, Gail. You did not."

Holly and I laugh, as Traci turns around and walks away. "Breakfast is ready you idiots." She calls.

I turn on my side, and prop myself up on my elbow. Holly is still lying on her back, eyes closed taking in the sun. I watch with purpose as she lightly scratches her nose. "I can hear you thinking, Gail." _You're not wrong._

Still on her back, she turns her head towards me and opens her big brown eyes. A mixture of feelings envelope my body. I shiver, and she notices giving me a warm smile. Suddenly a rush of anxiety hits me, I drop my head as I realise I never want to hurt this person, but I feel on some level it's inevitable in one way or another, it's who I am, but it's not who I want to be. I have never liked that about myself.

Holly stands up and takes the blanket from my lap, then offers me her hand. I take it, and she yanks me up quickly almost pulling me straight into her, close enough to smell her hair. We turn towards the house and she places her hand at the bottom my back, willing me to move forward with her. And I do.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry its taken so long. I hope to get the next chapter up a bit quicker. Thanks for reading.**

Never has a shower been so noisy. So many thoughts are running through my brain this morning that all are fighting for prominence, but there is only one clear winner.

_That kiss._ I stand still under the showerhead to muffle all the noise. As I run my thumb over my bottom lip, I recall the sensation. Her lips. Her smell. The way her touch made my skin burn. I jolt back into reality when I hear a knock on the door. "Hurry up Gail, you're going to run out the hot water." Traci shouts.

I hop out of the shower and rub the steam from the mirror with my hand and look at myself. It's time to face the day. It's just a pity I have to do it around all these people. Do I act like nothing happened? I know I'm not ready to share this with everyone, I don't even know what 'this' is, but at the same time I know I don't want to hurt my friends feelings.

I mean, what could she possibly be expecting from me at this point? We haven't even had a chance to talk about anything. After the kissing and the hugging, we didn't really say much at all. We just lay on the ground in silence holding hands, which was nice. Even though she talks a lot, she knows when to shut up. She's good like that.

I have this feeling the coming hours are going to be incredibly weird and kind of awkward, as I know I'm going to have a hard time stopping myself stealing glances at her. They are all totally going to notice, Holly included.

I take a deep breath as I enter the lounge. Traci and Chris are sitting at the dining room table while Holly is helping Steve dish up breakfast. Traci waves me over and I sit down on an empty chair, as Steve puts a plate of food in front of them. Holly is smiling, concentrating on what she is doing. She picks up a plate and brings it over to me and she places it in front of me and walks back to the kitchen counter. I notice she has arranged my bacon in a smiley face.

"Hey, why don't we all get smiley faces?" Says Chris.

I choose to ignore him.

"So Holly, how have you been feeling? Since the shooting I mean." My brother asks.

She stops what she's doing to think about her answer. "To be honest I've struggled to process it all, actually I think I still am. Can't say I would ever get used to be being shot at. I don't know how you guys do it."

Despite her colossal meltdown the other night, which i could tell was probably out of character, I am completely envious at how easily Holly can open up like that, especially to people she has only just met. I can barely talk to my friends, or maybe that's because I don't want to_. _But I do want to talk to her.

"Luckily it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, your training kicks in and you have to trust it. You have to trust your colleagues have your back. Still it can be a mental battle, I don't think anyone could ever get used to it." Says Steve.

"That's what the shrinks are for" Traci laughs.

Holly shakes her head in disbelief. "Cops are awesome."

"Yes we are" Steve laughs and we all nod in agreement.

"Still, it helps being here, around people. Normally I would have probably locked myself self in the morgue. Your sister has been a great support." Holly turns and casually winks at me and I can't help but smile back. _You're so perty._

I feel Traci's hand land on my shoulder. "Well you've got your own personal bodyguard now. We all need one of those." she pats.

Holly's eyes are burning holes in mine, and I can't seem to look away. "I still can't believe she did that."

"That's Gail for you, full of surprises." Says Chris.

Holly drops her head as she cuts up some bread, and grins widely. "Yes she is." She chuckles. I can feel my cheeks burning, as I can tell me catching a bullet is not what she was referring to.

"Actually I am not surprised at all. It was what I was talking about Holly. Her instinct kicked in. Gail is getting all embarrassed, we should stop talking about her or she will probably be punishing us for the rest of the day." Says Steve.

"For once you are right about something, loser." I say, chewing on my bacon.

"So what are we doing today?" Traci asks.

"I thought we could go fishing. I know a great spot, we could take a picnic?" Holly replies.

"That sounds like fun." Says Chris. The others agree.

I roll my eyes and rest my head in my hands. _Oh god._

Holly's slams a 6 pack on the table. "Lighten up Gail, I have alcohol, and this has your name on it." And it literally does. 'Gail's Beer' is written in marker across the card wrapping. _What a nerd._

"Fine I'll go." I huff. I have found it never takes me long to give in to her, even when we first became friends, she's always had that hold over me. She doesn't take any of my bullshit.

I stand up and take my plate over to the sink, where Holly is rinsing some mugs, and I stand next to her and look casually out the window. "You are such a nerd, you know that?" I say to her quietly. I turn around and lean against the sink just in time to catch Steve kiss Traci, and before I have time to say something mean to them Holly moves a strand of hair from eyes and places it behind my ear. I turn my heads towards her, eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, that has been bothering me." She says, cowering back getting back to her dishes.

"Don't be, it's been blocking my view for the last 5 minutes." I smile. _Ugh, I'm such a dick._

I can feel my smile slowly fade as I begin to study her face. She isn't wearing any makeup. She doesn't have to. Her skin is perfect. So are her cheekbones. She is such a striking woman, and it's not just because of her beauty. It's her stature, confidence and athleticism. The way she carries herself. She makes me feel incredibly inferior and insecure. _But what's new?_

I feel a sudden kick to my leg. "Gail?" Holly whispers.

"Hmm" I manage to breath.

"You're staring".

It takes me a few seconds to refocus, before I realise how long I was staring. "Um, am not." _Shit! _That awkward stare I was expecting to happen only took 10 minutes to happen.

"Right... sure Officer" she says as she leans around me to put to put some cups away into the shelf near my head. She is dangerously close, and from what I can't tell, doing it totally on purpose. She pauses for half a second it front of me; lip looks me, before returning to the front of the sink. _You're such a tease._

"If you must know, I was actually looking at that coffee mug" I say pointing to a mug on a shelf behind her. "I need coffee."

"Did you want me to make you one?" I offer.

She washes her hands and wipes them on a tea towel and leans against the sink next to me. "No, I think I'm going to go for a run, clear my head." _What the hell does that mean?_

She starts to walk towards Chris, Steve and Traci before looking back at me. "You're a total liar by the way" she smirks.

"What she lying about now?" Steve asks.

"Oh nothing. Just Gail being Gail. Would anyone like to come for a run with me?"

* * *

Traci and I sit on the porch drinking our coffee as we wait for Holly and the guys to get back from their run.

"Hey, sleepy head. You haven't really been your sarcastic self the past day, you doing okay?" Traci asks.

"Just tired." I say. I can't tell she wants to ask me more, but if past history is anything to go by, she knows not to push.

"Holly certainly has a good head on her shoulders, she seems like the type of person who deals with things head on." Traci States. _Are you trying to tell me something Traci?_ I raise my eyebrows silently in question.

"She seems to be dealing pretty well with the shooting don't you think? Especially being an outsider, not used to getting into those types of situations. I know its hard seeing your friends get hurt, and you guys have gotten pretty close." Traci says.

I scoff. "What?" Traci quickly asks.

I take a second to think of why I did that. "Well... actually she completely flipped out the day of the shooting."

"Wait, was this when you called me at the precinct for her address?" She asks. I nod. "Oh I was wondering why you sounded so weird. What happened?"

_Just be honest, it's easier. _"We were gonna grab dinner at our place, but before we got in there she just bolted, and wouldn't talk to me. Normally I wouldn't even bother going after someone who doesn't want to talk, but it was too weird." I'm only just realising that the things she said that night obviously carried a lot more weight than I originally thought.

"Well she's seems fine now, so whatever you did just have must have helped."

"Actually it was more likely the shrink she saw the next day. What's taking them so long? Do you think Chris has fallen down a ditch?" I deflect.

"Yeah, he's probably acting dead so Holly will give him mouth to mouth. He totally has a thing for her. Who wouldn't, look at her?" she says pointing, as they all come running through the gates. _What?_

I laugh. "I didn't even notice." _That won't end well_.

"Well you have been off in la la land the past day, so it doesn't surprise me." Traci states as she gets up and walks down to greet Steve.

Holly runs up the steps and flops down next to me on the two-seat sofa. "Okay, hand it over, give me the coffee, I need the coffee". She takes it from my hand.

"I can make you another" I say as I go to stand up, but she grabs my and pulls me back onto the sofa.

"What, you afraid I'll give you cooties?" She laughs.

"Yes, who knows where that mouths been. You really smell by the way."

"Thank you." She smiles sweetly. "We should take a shower, and get going."

I turn my head in surprise. "We should what now?"

"Not we" she's says pointing to me. "I mean Chris, Steve and I. No, wait that came out wrong."

I can't stop laughing. She doesn't get embarrassed often, as she seems too smart to ever put herself in those situations, but the look of horror on her face is priceless,

"Fuck! You know what I mean."


	8. Chapter 8

**I cant seem to get away from the fluff. Thanks for the comments :)**

"I realise we could have probably just walked here, but I didn't feel like lugging all your beer." Holly says as she hops out of the car.

"Good call" I laugh. Plus, I usually like to avoid any type of exercise.

Holly's phone rings and she answers but holds her hand out to me to help me from the car. To my recollection she has always done this. Given me a hand, opened doors. She is very poised and well mannered. _God, what must she think of me?_ Being raised as a Peck I was never taught such things.

"Gail, come and help me get this stuff out of the car will you?" Chris asks. I roll my eyes. _Ugh, I hate helping. Case in point_.

A few minutes later after she has finished her phone call, Holly leans against the truck and she watches me lift some fishing equipment from the tray. I pass them to Steve who starts to walk down to the lake where Traci and Chris are setting up some chairs.

"That's ok, I don't need any help. You just stand there and look pretty," I say to her and she pokes out her tongue. "Very mature."

She slyly smiles. "I'll take that as a compliment." _I suppose you should._

"Hey, you can see the house from here" she points across the lake. I look in that direction while I close the tray and innocently take some side steps towards her.

She suddenly grabs my arm. "Come with me".

"Hey, guys?" She shouts at Traci, Steve and Chris down by the lake. "We'll be back in 20." They wave us away.

"Where are we going?" I whine as she drags me away from the car.

"The whining? Definitely not one of your more endearing qualities." She quips.

She let's go of my arm, knowing we are probably a safe enough distance away that I'm not going to run in the opposite direction.

"What are my more "endearing qualities" then?" I sarcastically air quote. _Why am I fishing for compliments?_

I loathe compliments. Come to think of it I also hate giving them. It always feels completely unnatural to me, and I have always put that down to people thinking I'm 'that' ice queen, therefore they don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth. I mean it happened the other day with that cupcake Holly gave me. It's all my own fault of course; it's a stigma I have gotten use to and something I have never bothered to even attempt to change about myself. Actually, maybe it's all my mum's fault? _Is that a question?_

We start walking along a gravel footpath not to far from the water.

"Well you..." she carefully pauses

"Is it my love of cheese puffs?" I joke.

"No, that's just gross." She says disapprovingly. I scowl at her.

"You are so random and unapologetic, but in a good way. And it's your complete lack of self-awareness. You are incredibly warm, Gail, and you don't know it." She says with a smile, watching her feet as she walks.

Her smile drops to a frown and she suddenly stops, and it takes me a few steps before I turn to see what's wrong. "I wish more people would see you the way I see you." She says it like she knows people are constantly judging me, like she knows it probably bothers me. Her look of concern for me is genuine.

"I like you Gail" she innocently admits. I smile and she starts walking again, and as she gets closer I take her hand, and slide my fingers between hers. _I like you too, a little too much_.

We turn onto a rough secluded road. It's kind of freaky. Tall trees line the edges of each side. The sun peaking through where it can, flashing in and out of my eyes.

"So... Should I be afraid for my life right now?"

"Maybe." I can't help but notice the evil glint in her eyes.

"Are you taking me to a mass grave or something? Let me guess? It's the jilted boyfriends of all the straight girls you've turned." I scoff. "You know from the moment we met I knew you were a serial killer. You want to know what gave you away?"

"I'm pretty sure I know, but go ahead, tell me."

"Your lunchbox."

"Yup thought as much," she laughs. "Fortunately for you, you don't fit the profile."

I slightly turn her towards me in confusion by pulling at her hand. _Are you trying to tell me something? "_Whys that?" I raise my eyebrow.

She seems a little too happy with herself. "No jilted boyfriend" she smirks and playfully shoulder bumps me.

She grips my hand tighter, while we walk in silence for a while. Normally I'd welcome the silence but... "So..."

"So...?" She draws out.

"Is this what we do now? Hold hands, steal awkward glances at each other?" I ask.

"For the moment, yes."

This surprises me. "And, you are ok with this?"

"Gail we kissed like, 9 hours ago." _She's counted_. "I'm not expecting you to jump straight into a relationship with me, in fact, I'm not even sure you are even ready to have this conversation with me and I don't mind. She squeezes my hand reassuringly."

"So?" I will her on.

"So, I really enjoy spending time with you, and that's enough for me right now. I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want. Okay? I know this is all new for you." She lightly shakes my hand. _Ugh, why is she so understanding? So bloody annoying. _

_"_First and foremost I am your friend, and I am here for you. I don't want to jeopardise that."

She suddenly starts laughing. "Well no more than I already had by telling you I liked you the last night. My bad." She winces.

I swing our arms up and down, like we are children. _"_Its okay. If you hadn't, the tension would have probably got too much for me and I probably would have approached the subject in a must less subtle, but aggressive way. Actually, you probably would have just thrown me in the lake, instead of me just threatening to jump in myself."

"Well we may have both been a little delirious last night." I don't disagree, I was so bloody tired.

I ponder for a moment, and think of the events last night, which makes me realise something completely obvious that I want her to know.

"Oh, and Holly? I like spending time with you to."

"We are here." She pulls me off the road, through some brush to a clearing. She lets go of my hand and jumps up to sit on a huge fallen log that looks like it has been there for years. She invites me over, softly patting the spot next to her. _Why not_?

She pulls me up, with those strong muscles of hers. _I really need to do some push-ups or something. This is embarrassing. _ "So what is this place?" I ask brushing the dirt from my jeans.

"I used to come here a lot as a child, with my best friend Leigh. We'd play by the water while my parents sat here and read."

"Sweet." I nod.

"Look." She shifts where she sits and swings her leg over so her legs are either side of the log. She looks down at the wood beneath us and wipes away the dirt and leaves.

"M. S + B. S" I read. "Are those your parents?"

"Grandparents" she smiles as I swing my leg over and sit opposite her.

She moves back a little revealing another engraving. M. S. + V. S.

"My parents. They died... um 28 years ago." She shakes her head. "Can't believe it's been so long. They died in a car accident."

"Drunk driver?" I ask hesitantly.

She shakes her head. "No, kids joy riding." She shrugs. "The kid driving died too."

I rub her arm. "Oh, that's awful, I'm so sorry." She gently smiles at me and returns her gaze to the marks on the log.

"Did your parents meet here?"

"No my grandparents did. Actually, at this spot." She grins, and looks around her surroundings.

"Well it is quite romantic," I admit. I am well aware I am now blushing, and so is she as she removes a twig from my hair, slightly amused at my confession.

"My grandmother had lived in this town forever. My mother always liked it here, so they came back here to raise me, and bought the house on the lake."

"How long did you live here, at this house?"

"Until I was 9 I think? My grandparents decided to move into the lake house with me after they died so not to disrupt my life too much. But my grandfather got sick a few years later, so we moved to the city. Easier access to everything you know? He died when I was 16, but my grandmother still lives in the city. I visit her most weeks. "

"Oh that's nice, I'm glad you still have someone." I say taking her hand in mine.

"Yeah, she is a sweetheart." _I think I already knew that, she raised you._

"Shit! We have been gone for ages. They probably will think I killed you."

"Well, most people want to once they spend time with me" I joke. Though a part of me believes it. She shakes her head, disappointed in my lack of self-esteem no doubt.

Holly slides down from the log and raises her hands to me lift me off. I could attempt to slide off myself, but I don't want to embarrass myself anymore without adding clumsiness to my long list of idiocentricities. She lifts me off by my hips and lowers me to the ground, but she doesn't let go, and now we are standing a little too close.

"Hi" I say coyly.

"Hi" she replies as I watch her eyes dart all about my face. I pull her in closer and she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "We don't have time for this" she laughs and loosens her grip. She takes my hand and pulls me back through the brush, but let's it go as we start running towards the road.

"You seriously aren't going to make me run all the way back are you?" I call from behind.

"It's good for you." _Not for me it isn't._

I slow to a walk as we hit the road. "I think I just got enough of an endorphin kick from whatever you just did back there, anyway I am injured remember? You should probably be carrying me."

She loops back around and runs towards me, and before I know it she grabs my legs out from under me and catches my back, lifting me up into her arms.

"Like this?"

"Um no, I just meant a piggy back." I laugh awkwardly,

"Oh" she says with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Though I'd like to see you try and carry me all the way back like this."

"Challenge accepted." _Nerd._


	9. Chapter 9

Chris downs another shot as Holly cleans his wound with antiseptic. "You will probably need a few stitches, but it's not that bad. You'll live."

Chris drops his head back on the couch and winces. "Do I have to?" He pleads. _Such a baby._

Holly passes me the bloodied gores as Traci hands Chris another shot.

"Yes, you have to" she insists in a stern motherly tone. "You can wait until morning though. I'll dress it now and you will be good to go."

She gestures towards the scissors sitting between us on the coffee table, so I hand them to her "Can't you just do them yourself?" I ask.

"I could, I don't have my lunchbox full of tools" she smirks. _Funny_.

Chris is looking rightly confused. "Well I'm leaving early tomorrow to head back to the city. I'll drop by the ER."

"Then you should probably stop doing shots" I tell him.

"Gail, Holly. Did you guys want a beer, or, we have wine?" Traci shouts from across the room.

"A red would be great, thanks," Holly says as she cuts the dressing to size.

"Beer for me."

I hear the front door open and Steve walks in holding 4 pizzas. "There better be a shitload of pepperoni on one of those," I proclaim. He flips me the bird.

"Well hello to you to." He drops the pizza on the kitchen counter and walks off.

I watch Holly do her thing as she wraps a light bandage over the dressing on Chris's calf. I like the little crinkle she gets between her eyes when she concentrates, and the way she lightly bites her bottom lip. _So cute._

"You are all done. You have been such a good boy." She grins squeezing his foot.

"Thank you Dr. Stewart." _Suck up._

I stand up as Traci walks over with our drinks, laughing. "I could totally see this coming, it's such a 'you' thing to do," she says to Chris, as she hands me my beer and I flop back on to the arm chair opposite him.

"You'd be surprised how common these sort of injuries are, lucky the hook only scrapped your leg. My ex got a hook right through the hand, it wasn't pretty." Holly says shaking her head and both Traci and Chris scrunch their faces up in disgust.

I feel a lump form in my throat just at the mention of her ex. I wonder if it's _that_ Heidi? I can't believe I am becoming that jealous girl, especially since I'm not even sure whom I'm jealous over. _So if she got a hook through her hand, Holly probably brought her here?_

Holly picks up Chris's foot and places it on a pillow and rests it on the coffee table before sitting down next to him. "So, Holly?" Chris stammers, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Traci laughs, and we roll our eyes at each other. _Oh Chris, you poor thing._

Holly turns to him smirking. "Why, you offering?" She's seems to be enjoying the attention a little too much for my liking.

"Sorry loser, she's gay." I announce. Not that it was a secret or anything.

Holly is smugly glaring at me, but her eyes are telling me I could have probably been a little more considerate towards his obvious feelings. I shrug at her. _Sorry?_

Traci turns to me and raises her eyebrows, silently asking me if it was true. I nod into my beer as I take a drink. _Yes it is._

Holly seems a little embarrassed, but I'd say it's more for Chris than herself.

"That's a pity. For me, lucky for the woman who has you, you are a lovely person." Chris says innocently. _Spew._

Holly pats him on the shoulder. "Aww, you're such a sweetheart."

"Get a room you two why don't you?" I exclaim. I am starting to think I have had a few too many beers today. _Let's go with that._

I can hear Traci giggling in her seat as I suddenly feel two sets of eyes me. I see Chris reach for the pillow under his foot, but Holly takes it from him. "Let me." I suddenly feel it on my face, while almost knocking the beer from my hand.

"Good arm" Chris says very impressed with Holly's athletic ability.

Steve walks into the lounge and sits in the chair next to me and cracks open a beer. "So, what did I miss?"

"Well Holly is gay, and I am an idiot." Chris says.

"We all knew that. The idiot thing not the gay thing." Steve says as he smiles at Holly.

"So Holly do you have a girlfriend, are you dating anyone?" Traci asks.

My head is getting sore from all the eye rolling. _What is this? 20 fucking questions? _I am curious to know her answer though. "No, but my friends keep setting me up to torture me." She answers.

"Ha, sounds like you have that in common with Gail, though probably a bit worse for her seeing as it's her mother that chooses all her dates." Traci, unfortunately for me, reveals to her.

I can't deny it. Though Holly did know I was dating quite a bit, she didn't know it was because my mother was forcing me to. Embarrassed, I raise my beer up to salute her.

"Wait, I thought you would have people flocking to you, I mean, have you seen you?" Chris states.

"Chris, give it up already." Traci quips.

Holly chuckles. "I have always had a hard time meeting people. I am a bit of a loner, not to mention a bit of a weirdo." She laughs and everyone laughs with her. It's nice to see she gets along so well with everyone.

"Actually, these days I think it's my job that tends scare them away, or more likely the amount of time I spend at work. My work means a lot to me. Also I think I have become a lot more relaxed in trying to find someone since coming out, though not sure why that is." She admits seeming a little confused at why she said that.

"When did you come out?" Traci asks like it's not personal at all. _Geez_.

"Let's just say I was in denial quite sometime. I was 25." She smiles. _Interesting, didn't know that_.

"How old are you?" Chris asks and Steve swiftly kicks him in his good leg.

"Ha, it's okay Steve, I just turned 34." I panic a little. Shit, did I miss her birthday?

"Wait, when was your birthday?" I interrupt.

"5 weeks ago? So probably a few days before we met." _Phew_. I relax back into my seat, as the room falls silent.

"Well, Holly, I'd totally date you if I were gay." Traci says casually. They burst out laughing, Steve practically choking on his beer.

I look at Traci with my best 'are you serious?' face.

"What are you looking at? I would. I've kissed the ladies before." I see the boy's interest suddenly pique.

"Ladies, plural?" I ask.

"Well I was 16, and there was a whole spin the bottle situation going on. Haven't we all done that?"

Holly grins and takes a sip of her wine.

"No?" I reply. Was this some right of passage I missed growing up?

"Off course you didn't. Wait, no... The amount of times I have seen women hit on you in bars, even while you work, your telling me none of them have ever tried something on you?"

Do they? _Do have some flashing sign above my head saying "lesbians, please hit on me"?_

Holly seems delighted in the fact I'm starting to squirm in my seat. Traci can tell something is up too. I can feel my face going red and try to mask it by taking a drink and I try to hide behind the bottle.

"You totally have" she insists.

I look at Steve, as I really don't want to talk about anything like this in his presence.

"If you don't tell us, I will pash Steve right now in front of you."

Before she even has a chance to get up I have to stop her. "Okay okay, no one wants to see that." I say agitated and annoyed that I am about to reveal something that I haven't yet truly processed.

"Yes, a woman kissed me once." I say and sit there in silence. Everyone is staring at me waiting for me to say something more.

"And?" Holly urges smugly. I cock my head slightly and give her the evil eye. _You're dead._

"And... I must have been talking too much. She did it to shut me up. Or to prove a point, I can't remember." _Yes you can._

"And did it shut you up?" Holly asks.

"What do you reckon?" I sharply reply, but I feel my lips slightly start to curl up at her. _Well it certainly did something._

"As much as I love hearing about my sister making out with people" Steve says sarcastically, "we should probably eat before the pizza gets too cold".

I totally agree. Anything to get me out of this situation would be awesome.


	10. Chapter 10

I walk over to Holly who is standing at the kitchen counter massaging her temples. I move her wine glass out of the way and lean on my elbows across from her. "You doing okay there, nerd?"

She takes off her glasses. "My head is bloody killing me."

"Too much wine?"

"I only had one glass. Maybe I got too much sun today?" She squints at me. I resist the urge to tease her that maybe she had been staring at me too long.

I slide around the counter and lean against it next to her. "Did you want me to get you some pain killers?"

"No, I don't like taking them if I don't have to. Maybe I should just go to bed."

I go to the kitchen sink and fill a glass with water. "Maybe you should." I slide her the glass. "Make sure you drink this."

I drop my arms flat onto the bench and lean down to rest my head on them.

She drops her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm, nothing. Just trying to decide something."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" She asks curiously.

I raise my eyes to hers and pout. "Whether or not I should sleep in your bed tonight." I bite my bottom lip.

Her initial look of shock suddenly morphs into a smirk. "Okay. Well while you decide that, I'm going to go say goodnight to those guys over there," gesturing her hands towards Traci, Chris and Steve in the lounge.

I know I'm not the easiest person to read, but I am a little annoyed at her smugness towards my current dilemma. Can I really blame her though? We have been playfully teasing each other like this all day.

I watch Holly give Chris a hug. And I think I hear the word 'sorry' come out of his mouth. Holly is touching his arm. I think she is reassuring him that it was okay that he made a complete dick of himself in front of her.

"Goodnight everyone" I hear and she turns back towards the kitchen. Her smile drops almost immediately as she presses her fingers to her eyes. I just want to give her hug, but I'm not sure I am ready to eat my own words from earlier this morning.

"So did you make a decision?" she asks grabbing the glass of water beside me. She takes a sip, while looking at me out the corner of her eye.

I lightly scrunch my face up. "Um, no I haven't." I feel guilty at my lack of conviction.

Holly finishes her glass of water and puts it down, placing both her hands on the counter. She pauses and takes an audible breath. "I'll see you in the morning, regardless of where you sleep, okay?" she smiles.

She turns away and takes a few steps before I lift myself upright. "Um Holly?"

She turns back to me. "Yes?" She says in a somewhat hopeful tone.

I walk around the counter and her eyes start to widen. I have made her nervous from my sudden movement towards her. I bring my hand up to the back of her shoulder and pull her into my chest. The smell of her hair is intoxicating. Her pointy chin digs into my shoulder as I gently rub her back with my other hand, then I release her from the hug. "I hope you feel better," I say, as I take a few steps back from her. _Nailed it!_

She walks backwards, a little rattled by my uncharacteristic PDA. "Good night, Gail," she smiles.

"Night." I pick up the bottle of wine on kitchen table and I notice Traci looking at me. I choose not to freak out about it. I smile at her and lift the bottle up to ask if she wants another drink and she nods back at me.

* * *

My hand makes it as far of the door knob before I realise it is the wrong decision. I step backwards until I hit the opposite door with my back and slowly slide down it until I reach the floor.

I take out my phone and check the time. 2:30am. _Shit!_ I lean my head back against the door and close my eyes.

The door opens, and all of a sudden I am flat on my back, and my phone slides pass my head and into the bedroom.

"Fuck me. Holly!" _Excellent choice of words for this moment._

"Well hello there. I see you have found somewhere to sleep."

"I was just..." I stammer as she drops both her hands down above my head to help me up "about to come to bed" I finish, as she pulls me up.

"Looks like it" she whispers.

She bends back down to retrieve my phone that had slid between her legs.

"It's" she pauses as she presses a button on my phone to wake it from sleep "2:30am " she points out, I can only assume surprised that it took me 3 hours to get this close to the bedroom.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, I am aware of that fact."

"Cute picture" she says as she hands me back my phone, aware that my screensaver is a picture of us that I had taken when we were at the batting cages all those weeks ago. _Yes it is_.

I look down at her body, and see she isn't wearing any bottoms. Her baggy Dr Who t-shirt is partially covering her black boyleg underwear. "Nice underwear" I snicker and she modestly tries to pull her t-shirt down. _Made you blush!_

"I was going to get a glass of water" she says all flustered, as she picks up a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey! Don't be putting those on on account of me," I cheekily grin._ Gail, what are you doing?_

She drops them back on the floor and nudges past me.

I follow her out of the bedroom as she makes her way towards the kitchen. I walk over to the sofa and flop back down to my earlier position where I had laid for the past 3 hours, beating myself up about numerous things, you know, as you do.

All the lights are off, but the moon is shining bright enough that I can see her silhouette in the kitchen. I turn my attention to my phone and away from her legs as she starts to walk into the lounge. I quickly load a game of Tetris to distract from the fact that we are both now awake, alone, and one of us isn't wearing that much clothing.

She walks up to the back of the sofa, and the smell of her moisturiser wafts over me. I close my eyes and switch off my phone. I am being stupid if I think I can just avoid her presence.

She kneels down at the back of the sofa and I hear her place her glass of water on the floor. She rests her head on the top of the back sofa cushion and dangles her long slender arms down the front of it.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask quietly as she lightly taps her hands on the cushion.

"What are you thinking about?" She replies.

I bite my tongue, so as not to curse her for answering my question with a question. "Well, I think I asked you first."

Her hands stop tapping. "No."

"No?" I question.

"Yes." She chuckles.

"Holly, you are going to give me a headache, you know that right?"

"Well then we can both be miserable together," she says rubbing her temple.

I had momentarily forgotten she had gone to bed with one, a pretty bad one in fact. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise it was that bad."

She laughs. "It's not, I'm fine. Psych!"

I instantly swipe my at hand hers landing a slap on her wrist. "Loser! You have used up one! You'll only get three apologies from me a year."

She rubs her wrist. "Kiss it!"

"Kiss what?"

She shoves her wrist in my face. "Kiss it better!"

"Are you serious? I'm not doing that. No way!"

"Kiss it now, or I'll tip my glass of water down..."

"Fine!" I interrupt. I sit up and quickly lick her hand. Though I'm now wondering what the rest of that sentence was going to be.

She scrunches her nose and quickly wipes her hand all over the cushion. "Uh, gross!" _I know_.

I laugh then close my eyes, and we sit in a comfortable silence.

"I have made a decision," I suddenly state.

"About sleeping in my bed?"

"No. Well yes, but this is something else." I stammer. "Will you go out with me? On a date tomorrow night?" I quietly mumble.

"Gail? Do you want to open your eyes and ask me that again?" She asks sternly.

I slowly open one eye and she nudges me in the ribs with her knuckle. I open the other and turn my head to look her straight in the eyes, as I realise it's already tomorrow. "Will you then, tonight?" I ask in an annoyed tone. _She is going to leave me hanging isn't she?_

She stands up and slowly creeps over the back the couch placing her hands either side of my head on the armrest. "What are you doing?" I squirm. As a reflex, I raise my arms up in front of my chest to protect myself. She carefully places her knees either side of my waist, burrowing her legs down the sides of my thighs. "Your feet are cold," I whisper, almost choking on her hair that is hanging over me. She chuckles and I squirm some more. She tightens her knees either side of me to stop me from moving. I am amazed at her strength. _Are you really?_

She drops her head down slowly and places a kiss on my forehead. Her t-shirt is so baggy, that I can't help but catch a glimpse down her top. _I can't believe I just did that._

She removes her hands from the armrest, and slowly lowers herself down so she is straddling me. It's a strange position for me to be in, as I have never been one to relinquished control.

My hands are still awkwardly hovering above my chest, so she takes them in hers and merges our fingers together. "Do I make you nervous?" She asks and I slowly nod my head. _Very_. She warmly smiles at me.

The smile suddenly fades from her beautiful face. "Are you scared?" She asks somewhat apprehensively. _Terrified_.

"Yes." I utter softly. I nervously bite my bottom lip. I'm scared of losing control, of losing her, of losing our friendship. Scared that I'm falling in love with her... _ I'm scared you'll break my heart._

She tugs at my hands, and lifts up my body to be level with hers. I grip onto her arms, as she runs her fingers softly through my hair. "Don't be," she whispers in my ear and I feel my neck pulsate with her every breath. She calms me with a single kiss, but before she can pull back too far, I pull her right back in for more.

I run my hands over her cheeks. "So was that a yes then?" I ask as I brush the hair from her eyes.

She smirks at me. "What do you think?"


	11. Chapter 11 a)

**Chapter 11 b is coming within the next 6 hours i'd say, so stay tuned. I originally wrote them together, but i felt the chapter was way too long so i split it in half.  
**

I sit on the couch with my knees to my chin, the local newspaper squished between my chest and thighs and my gaze is firmly on my feet. The significance of tonight's date is weighing on my mind. It's not that I don't want it, I do, it's the fact I want it too much that's scares me. I feel Holly's eyes on me, studying me no doubt, perhaps wondering what's going on in this crazy brain of mine. I lift my chin up to check she's still there and not just a figment of my imagination.

Holly raises the hot coffee to her mouth and blows on it. She pokes me in the leg with her toe from the other end of the sofa. "You're regretting your decision now aren't you?" She asks anxiously, stroking the cup with her thumbs.

I look back down at the newspaper in my lap. "Population 2500." I can't help but roll my eyes at this statistic, as this doesn't help with my current dilemma.

"We could always wait until we get back to the city?" She says in a reassuring tone, trying to relieve me of any pressure I might be feeling.

I immediately look back at her. "No!" I say sharply then return my eyes to the paper. "I don't want to wait" _anymore_ I grumble. I see Holly smile into her coffee from the corner of my eye, suddenly relieved of any doubt she may have had that I wanted to do this.

"Well, it's official!" I smack down the paper onto the coffee table. "There is fuck all to do in this town."

She drops the cup from her lips to her lap. "Don't be ridiculous," she says shaking her head at me. "I really don't mind where you take me, I'm just glad you asked."

I slump heavily back into the sofa. "There is a reason I don't do this stuff you know," I pout.

"What's wrong with just grabbing dinner?" She asks.

"Dinner? I think you deserve more than just dinner if you are going to have to put up with my sorry ass." _Don't you get it? I'm not good enough for you._

Holly takes off her glasses and rubs the sides of hers eyes with her fingers. "Gail, please... "

"See? I'm already driving you crazy and we haven't even... I'm n..."

She leans forward and puts her finger to my lips. "Shut up!" She whispers.

"...not easy" I continue as she removes her finger.

"And I know it. I can handle you and your various neurosis." She smiles.

"My neurosis? What neurosis?" I quip.

"Don't go climbing that tree just yet, okay? Just sit on the ground and lick those paws." She says with her hand on my foot. That damn cat! I knew that analogy would come back to bite me. _That's the last time I open up to a complete stranger._

I sit up straight and take in a deep breath. "I will try harder," _I promise._

"Gail, you don't need to try harder, you're not doing anything wrong" she insists, as she slides her glasses onto the top of her head.

"No, I mean I'll try harder to find something for us to do tonight." I smirk.

"What's tonight?" Asks Steve as he walks into the room, obviously overhearing the end of our conversation.

Holly looks at me for the answer, but there is nothing. "Well according to your sister and this local newspaper," she picks up the paper from the coffee table, "fuck all." She muses. _I am such a coward._

"Oh, I see" he laughs. "Did Trace tell you guys she and I are going to visit some friends of hers this afternoon? They live not too far from here." He says from the kitchen.

"She did mention something, yes." I smile happily at the convenience of the situation, but in the back of my mind I have that nagging feeling Holly is going to hate me for being so secretive about our relationship. _Wait, is this a relationship?_

"When will you be back?" Holly asks a little too keenly. She definitely is not one who can hide her feelings, unlike me, the master concealer, queen of the permanent scowl, however she, can read me like a book. Something I kind of hate and love at the same time. _Stop worrying, she likes you, for now at least_.

"Probably not until very late. Traci hasn't seen these friends in quite a while." He says as he walks over to us. "Did you guys eat yet?" We shake our heads in unison, our toes now playfully touching.

Steve grabs my hand and pulls me over the top of the couch. "Gail, get up. We are going to the market." He drags me to towards the front door. "We're gonna make brunch for these lovely ladies."

"I didn't know Pecks could cook" Holly says, looking a little bewildered at his forceful actions.

"We can't!" he laughs as I elbow him in the stomach. He immediately retaliates by pinching me in the neck with his free hand.

"You know..." Holly drags out "seeing as you will be in town, you could take this opportunity to figure out what we can do tonight." _Pushy much?_

"Can I at least put some pants on first?" I violently shake my arm from his hand as he hunches down to catch his breath for a few seconds.

"You are letting Gail choose this evenings activities? Why would you let her do that?"

This time I go for a punch to his straight to his stomach, but he deflects my hand, spins me around, and bear hugs my arms into my chest. Shortly after, he releases his grip and pushes me forward. "Get your pants on then."

"Good idea. I probably should do that too." Holly says and makes her way towards the bedroom shaking hers head at our childishness.

"I'll be in waiting in the car, boofhead," Steve says, closing the front door behind him.

I walk into bedroom where Holly is sitting on the bed and I close the door. "Are you guys always like that with each other?" Holly asks as she pulls a sock on.

"That out there? If you had a brother you'd understand." I chuckle. "It's all in good fun." She doesn't look convinced. I feel in this moment I need to defend myself for some reason. "I don't generally go around hitting people" I say a more than a little concerned that I am being judged right now.

"Oh I know, I didn't mean... I suppose, I've never really hung around siblings before. You guys are super cute though."

"Cute?" I smirk. I playfully jump onto the bed and push her down by her shoulders. I grab her hands and pin them down beside her while climbing on top of her.

"This feels familiar" she grins licking her bottom lip.

"What? You've never fought with anyone before?" I ask.

I hear a knock at the door. "Gail, you in there?"

It's Traci. I quickly sit up, still straddling Holly, and whip my head sideways towards the bedroom door, blowing the hair out of my eyes. "Um, yeah be out in a sec, just changing" I reply, frozen, Holly wriggling underneath me.

"That's ok, can you remember to buy some milk while you are out?"

Holly chooses this time to start tickling my ribs, but I catch her wrists and pin them down again this time above her head.

"Yeah, sure." I answer, looking at Holly, just inches away from her face.

"Thanks" I hear through the door.

I climb off Holly and slide to the side of the bed. She edges backwards towards the headboard and I hand her her other sock.

"Am I acting like _that_ ashamed straight girl that everybody hates? I mean I don't feel that way at all, but I can't help but think my reactions to things are coming off that way, and I don't mean them to" I say picking at the bed covers. "It's just that..." _Why am I saying all these words?_

"Gail, I don't know where this is coming from, but I can assure you, you are definitely not acting like some ashamed straight girl." She laughs pulling on her sock.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask, strangely confused by her reaction.

"Well, I'm not sure you really know ashamed looks like. The stories I could tell you" she trails off. Another time perhaps? "Anyway, I know you. You don't do anything you don't want to do otherwise there would have been a Gail shaped hole through my door long ago." She points out. I love her sense of humor and I chuckle at the thought she has placed into my mind.

"You are just a bit nervous and unsure about your feelings, I get it, so am I. You don't want to have people judging your, don't freak out, relationship, before you even know you have one, it's the same for everyone don't you think? As for the secrecy thing? It doesn't bother me, besides its kind of hot. And don't be afraid to talk to me, okay? We tell each other stuff, right? Now hurry up and get dressed," she urges as she nudges me off the bed with her foot.

"See, it's so much easier when you explain my own feelings to me." I laugh and she winks back at me. Her ability to calm me a with a few sentences amazes me. If anyone else had done that I would have probably thrown a hissy fit, but I could listen to her talk all day. _Even if it is about my stupid feelings_.

I pick up my jeans off the floor and search for my sweater in my suitcase that is sitting on a chair nearby. "Holly, have you seen my sweater? It's a dark blue V-neck?" I say gesturing towards my neck as if she didn't know what a V-neck looks like.

She jumps off the bed and walks to her dresser and pulls out a green blazer, turns and offers it to me.

"What, no fleece?" I giggle. She cocks her head and scowls at me. "Anyway, I thought you said you wouldn't share your things with me?"

She takes a few steps closer to me urging me to take it from her. "No, if I remember correctly I was referring to you and your things. Not my style, remember?" _I remember_. I take the blazer from her hand.

"You on the other hand can pull off anything." She says as she steps and turns back towards her dresser. She looks at herself in the mirror, and glances back at me, still standing there, through the reflection of the mirror. "I have a lovely light brown paper bag if you'd prefer?"

She moves her glance back to her face and pulls her hair back into a ponytail then leans on the dresser with both hands. "Look at me, I'm a mess."

"That couldn't be further from the truth," I say walking backwards towards the bathroom. "You know someday Holly..." her eyes fix on me once again, "I am going to get you into my pants, whether you like it or not." I say with a wicked grin and close the bathroom door behind me.


	12. Chapter 11 b)

**Please if you haven't already, read Chapter 11 a) It was posted only 8 hours ago, so don't miss it! Go back a chapter now!  
**

**paulinemcc - Yes, i am late! I did however add another 1000 words within in a few hours. Sorry about all the touchy feely stuff too! I am kind of having fun writing dialog for these two. They have kissed a few times, but now I am just waiting for the right moment, maybe when Gail is not so in her own head, which will be very VERY soon. I have always preferred reading/watching the lead up to relationships than the actual relationships themselves, maybe that's why i am holding off a little. But then again this story so far has really only spanned 4 days. At this rate it will be finished by the time Rookie starts next May/June. Thanks for the comments, I appreciate it. I am glad you are liking the story.**

**Please make sure to leave a review, all comments welcome.**

* * *

I lean over the verandah railing and I wave goodbye to Steve and Traci as they pull out of driveway. I hear Holly make her way out of the house through the wire door and she leans on the railing next to me. The smell of her moisturizer will never get old, but this time it's mixed with something a little bit different.

"Are you wearing men's deodorant?" I ask.

"Guilty, officer."

"You smell nice." _Very sexy._

From the corner of my eye, I see her lower her head and smile to herself. I turn my head towards her and she pushes herself off the railing and pulls her foot to the back of her quad. "Not for long though. You sure you don't want to come with me?" She says dropping her foot then grabbing the other.

"There is nothing in this world I'd like less" I smile. I stand up straight and take all of her in. She is all arms and legs. For someone who sits in a lab all day, she is ridiculously toned. I am a bit jealous. I kind of want to stab her and run my hands all over her at the same time.

I suddenly realise I have been ogling her for the past ten seconds. "Besides, this will give me the perfect opportunity to pilfer through all your stuff." I try to say with a straight face.

She drops her foot and takes a step towards me, with a wry smile. I feel her little finger graze the side of my arm, as it slides down over my wrist, before it hooks with my own little finger. She gives it a little shake. "Okay, just don't go snooping in my dresser, especially at the back of the bottom left drawer." Her smile morphs into a grin, as she releases her finger from mine and walks backwards before turning and jumping down the stairs.

"I'll see you soon," she calls and takes off running.

Just the thought of exercise makes me exhausted. I lean back against the railing, close my eyes and take in a long steady breath; my lungs fill to capacity with the cool air. I haven't been this relaxed since I got here. _Now I'm alone with my thoughts, awesome!_

I walk back into the house and into the kitchen to pour myself a coffee from Holly's shiny coffee machine, where she has obviously spared no expense. I hop up onto the bench and take a sip. There is a packet of chocolate biscuits next to me, calling to me. Holly is out running being a good girl, and I am here eyeing off biscuits. _Typical_. I would feel guilty but luckily my metabolism is like a cheetah. I'm sure my insides don't appreciate it, but I shovel a third biscuit into my mouth anyway.

As I chew, I wonder if I should make good on my threat of looking through all her stuff. _Of course I am. _I would be a pretty bad police officer if I didn't, right? Who am I kidding, I am going straight to the bedroom and that bottom left drawer.

I know no one is home, but I can't help but creep quietly into the bedroom. I walk up to her dresser and place my on hand on the cool metal handle. Should I really be doing this? _She wants you to._

I slowly open the drawer, and peak in. I close it almost immediately, step back and fall backwards onto the bed. As I lie on my back, I look towards her pillow and grab her Dr Who t-shirt from underneath it. The image of the Tardis is burned into my memory of when she laid in bed next to me earlier this morning, before we went to sleep and again when we woke up.

* * *

"Are you tired?" She asks as she lies opposite me, mimicking my exact position. We lie facing each other, a hand placed on our own pillows beside our heads.

"I'm exhausted, but I don't know if I can sleep." I answer.

"How's your bruise?"

I lift up my shirt, revealing the bruise that has now traveled from around my back, and partially onto the side of my stomach. "It doesn't hurt as much, but now it's a lovely shade of yellow and green," I grin.

Holly gets out of bed, and tip toes into the bathroom. "I have something you can put on that." She calls out, shuffling through the sink cabinet, "If I can find it." Shortly after, she hops back onto the bed and places the bottle on the blanket between us.

"Can you do it, doctor?" I ask, and she nods. Any excuse for her to touch me really. "What is it exactly?"

"Arnica oil." She pops the lid and squeezes some out onto her hand. "It's a natural anti-inflammatory. A genus that is part of the Asteraceae family."

"And what prey tell is that, nerd?" I scoff.

She smirks as she lifts my shirt up a bit further and gently applies her hand to my skin. Her touch is cold, which makes the hairs on my arm stand on end.

"Sunflowers. The genus name Arnica is derived from the Greek word lamb, which relates to its soft, furry leaves."

I immediately bury my head into my pillow.

Her hand stops massaging my skin. "Did I hurt you?" She asks.

"Yes, with your words" I laugh.

I hear her snort as she lifts my shorts back a little over my hip. "Nice tat." She comments. _Shit,_ I had forgotten I had that. "I wouldn't have taken you for the tattoo type. Were you going through a rebellious stage?"

"Yes, a feather 'screams' rebellion." I say sarcastically.

"Let me guess, it means freedom, flight, your need to escape?"

I don't say anything for a few seconds as I remember the moment when I got it when I was 23. "No. Honor." I say quietly.

"Oh," she says, a little taken aback. "Well it's beautiful." She pulls my top back down. Then proceeds to kiss me on my hip, directly on my tattoo. "You are beautiful," she adds.

She pulls the bed covers up, and places the bottle on the nightstand, and switches off the lamp, before returning to our previous lying positions. "Are you ready to sleep?"

"I guess." I sigh.

"Give me your hand, and close your eyes." She asks and I hesitate.

"Gail?" She whines insistently. I quickly move my hand to her pillow and close my eyes. I feel her fingers softly graze over my hand, then land near my wrist. "There are two rows of bones here called the carpal bones, eight to be exact. They provide strength and flexibility to your wrist." She says softly.

"Oh god..." I laugh.

"Shh!" She squeezes my hand tight, and I relax back into the bed. _I'll just let this happen then._

She applies pressure to a point above my wrist. "This one is called the Scaphoid bone, it's kind of shaped a bit like a boat."

"I'd love to sail off about now," I mumble jokingly.

"Fine! I'm stopping" she exclaims as she begins to turn over.

"No, come back here." I pull her back over and place my hand back under hers. "You can't leave me hanging when you have only told me about one of eight carpal bones." I snicker as I close my eyes again. _See, I listen_.

She quietly clears her throat. "Fine. The one to the right of that is the Lunate bone. It looks a bit like a crescent moon. Next to that is the Triquetrium."

"Let me guess, shaped like a triangle?" I mumble into my pillow.

"Very good. Now shoosh. The little round nubby one here is the Pisiform." _Ha ha, pissy._

_"_On the top row, we have the Trapezium, a four sided bone. Next to that, is a wedged shaped bone called the Trapezoid. In the middle is the biggest bone of your wrist, the Carpitate. Looks a bit like your big head." She jokes, squeezing my hand again. "And finally, the Hamate bone, it's a little similar to the Trapezoid, but you wouldn't remember what that looks like would you?" She asks not expecting an answer, probably hoping I fell asleep of boredom.

"Wedge" I mumble, and she kisses my hand. _Fuck, I think I love..._

* * *

I feel a vibration in my pocket and I rise from the bed. I pull out my phone and see a message from Chris.

Chris: Leg is all stitched up. Thank Holly for me. Actually, what's her phone number?

I am laughing on the inside. "Oh Chris, such a cute little puppy dog."

I check the time on my phone only to discover I have been daydreaming for about thirty minutes, and have wasted precious snooping time.

I walk back out to the lounge area and start scanning the shelves lining every wall. They are all books of course, though nothing I would have read probably. There is a mixture of science, fishing, poetry and science fiction. A few knick-knacks, a few pictures, some in frames, some wedged between book pages. I see a picture of a little boy and girl waving to the camera, and I take it off the shelf. The view is very familiar. I assume that's the friend she used to play with down by the lake. She looks so happy, so it's horrible to think how her life is probably about to change at that point in time. I glide my finger over the glass and place the frame back on the shelf.

I walk to the other side of the room. There is an upright piano covered in a velvet cloth. Next to the piano on some shelves are some LP's. I love old records. It's not often I ever get to play them, so I may as we'll take the opportunity while no one is around. It looks like someone loved musicals. Gershwin, Bernstein, Hamlisch, Berlin to name a few. I'm curious to see if they have any Cole Porter, whom I have loved since I was a child. I remember my dad used to love watching Frank Sinatra movies, and we'd watch High Society together and I'd sing along, and I'd whine about not having all of Grace Kelly's pretty dresses.

I continue to scan through the collection hoping to find something from him, and I happen to come across an LP of The Best of Cole Porter. _Perfect! _I plug in the record player and remove the record from its sleeve, and carefully place it on the turntable. I move the position of the needle to my favourite song and turn it on.

"Fuck me!" I yell, as the scratching grates on my ears. "Let's try that again."

I feel my heart rate drop to the calming melody, and I start to hum. I never really listen to the lyrics of songs, it's more the melodies that get stuck in my head, so maybe my need to actually listen to Holly all the time, just to keep up with her, is suddenly rubbing off. I have never noticed how romantic this song is though.

_My god! _I'm turning into such a sappy loser. Just like Chris. "Jesus, get a grip, Gail."

I walk back over to the other side of the room; I look towards the drawers beneath the cabinet shelves. I start to slowly open the draws, the melody has gotten to me now, and I can't help but sing along.

"For you and I have a guardian angel on high, with nothing to lose. But to give to you and to give to me, love forever true."

_Fuck! _I hear the front wire door creak and I quickly step away from the drawers with my hands in the air. "I claim innocence! It wasn't me, I swear!" I yell, giggling as I turn around.

Holly is standing inside the door, barefoot, holding her running shoes. _What's with the face, Hol?_

She looks pale. As pale as she can look with her dark complexion. "Do you want a glass of water? You don't look too good." I say walking into the kitchen. I get a glass from the shelf and go to the sink.

"You were singing." She says.

"Oh, I know. Terribly out of key no doubt. Sorry, you had to hear that." I laugh as I turn off the tap.

I walk over to her, still standing at the door, not moving. She doesn't take the glass from me; I have to physically put it in her hand.

"I'm not." She says.

"You're not what?" I ask.

"Sorry I heard you." She answers.

"Hol, what's going on, did you hurt yourself?" I ask, as I pull on her arm.

I watch a tear form in her eye as she shakes her head. "I just had the weirdest case of déjà vu. It kind of threw me."

"You are as pale as me, it's kind of scary." I tell her.

"You were singing," she repeats.

"Yes, we covered that already," I smile, as I wipe the lone tear from her cheek.

"You don't understand," she says softly, as she tries to take a step around me.

"Then tell me," I say taking a step sideways to block her. "I won't bite."

"It's just that my mother used to sing around the house to those records. I know I was only young, but it's one of my strongest memories of her. It was just the weirdest thing walking up the steps and hearing that again."

"Sorry, I -I"

"Don't be, it was nice. Plus, you are an awesome singer, like, WOW! What the hell, Gail?"

I feel my face turn bright red and I bury my head in my hands. "Oh god, stop it." _Kill me now._

I remove my hands from my face as I notice blood streaming down Holly's ankle. "You are bleeding." I point out to her.

"Oh, yes I hurt myself." She says like it didn't happen to her.

"I just asked you if you hurt yourself and you said nothing!" I scowl.

"Well I got a bit distracted by your lovely..."

"Don't say it!" I warn, as I cover her mouth with my hand.

She removes my hand from her mouth and sits on the back of the couch. "Anyway I'm fine. My new best friend, the spiky bush thing, on the other hand, is not. And before you ask, no, I don't know the name of this particular bush, and yes, I am going to look it up on the Internet."

"Oh thank god! I think I would have probably died if I never found out the name of the 'spiky bush thing' that did this to you. Thank you."

I watch her look of interest fade in what I am saying as she realises I am teasing her.

"You are such a sarcastic asshole you know that?" She sneers and I happily shrug my shoulders in agreement.

"And you are the biggest nerd in the history of nerds." I reply.

We leer at each other, neither of us wants to break before the other, but I shake my head and start laughing and she soon follows.

"Do you want me to clean that up?" I ask, as i slowly recover from laughing and point to her foot.

"No, I am just going to take a shower." She answers.

I nod. "Well I can put a Band-Aid on it later. That's the best I can do!" I grin.

"So... What should I be wearing on our date tonight?" She asks.

"Casual, is fine. We are leaving a bit earlier. By five, is that ok?"

"That's fine, I better go clean up then, " she says, as she hastily stands from the couch and walks towards the bedroom.

"Are you ready to find out what its like when two girls get dressed together, for a date that is?" She says as she turns back towards me.

"Are you asking me to watch you get dressed?"

"No, but I might let you do my makeup for me though." She smiles. _What are you talking about? You don't need it._


	13. Chapter 12 a)

**paulinemcc - there is nothing really more to the tattoo. I'm thinking Gail is about 28/29 years old? She refers to being 22, 5 years prior in Season 3.  
**

**Sorry still no kissing. I realise we are learning a lot more about Holly in this story, but its on purpose, being in Gail's point of view. I will try and rectify this next chapter.**

* * *

I watch Holly in the middle of the road; her eyes concentrating hard on her feet as she carefully takes one step after the other along the white centre line. I can tell she has done this before.

"Seriously, why are we walking right now?" I ask grumpily, as I kick the gravel with my boots.

Holly lifts her head towards the sky and her mouth begins to curl, slowly it morphs into a cheeky grin. "Hmm, let's cast our minds back to 15 minutes ago shall we? You were like 'Oh hey! Holly, wassup? Do you wanna walk or drive into town?'" She says in a cocky mocking tone. _You have never said wassup in your life have you?_

"Whatever!" I say with all the hostility I can muster. "Can you please get off the road? You are making me feel very uneasy."

"We are in the country, Gail. Didn't you know? We walk in the middle of the road here. We are nearly there anyway." She says as she points ahead of us, and I see the first set of traffic lights come into view.

"Well I'd really prefer it if you didn't get dead, I kind of like you..." I pause, and contemplate whether I should add a few extra words like 'being alive'. _Nope, that'll do for now._

She slowly but surely closes the distance between us, and steps onto the side of the road to walk beside me.

"Happy?" She asks, as she links her arm with mine.

"Ecstatic!" I say with fake enthusiasm. "And if I ever ask you again whether we should walk or drive, what do you say?"

"Hmm, piggyback?" She laughs.

"You laugh now Lunchbox, but I may just take you up on that on the way home." I snort.

* * *

"I am going to figure this out you know" Holly says as she opens the door to the bookstore for me with one hand, while staring into her phone with the other.

"I don't doubt it." I laugh, as Holly almost collides with another customer exiting through the door. "Where do you want to sit?" I ask.

"Wherever you like is fine with me," she replies. She doesn't lift her head, but gestures with her free hand out into space, seemingly still engrossed in her phone. I doubt she has even noticed where she is.

"Wow, when you set your mind to something you really have to follow through don't you?" I say as she stands in the middle of no mans land, where people are stepping around her. "Holly, seriously? You have to move, now!"

I walk behind her and place my hands on her hips and shuffle her towards the window, before I push her onto the cushioned seat side of the table.

She moves her glasses from her nose to the top of her head. "What does this look like to you?" She asks me as I remove my sweater. Well actually her sweater, I never took it off. She holds out her phone in front of my face as I sit down opposite her. "Do you think it looks spiky enough?" She adds.

"You know I wasn't out running with you this afternoon don't you? I have no idea what it looks like." I tell her.

She opens her eyes wide at me, and moves the phone closer to my face, insistent on me taking a proper look. "Fine." I take the phone from her and look at it. "Well this particular plant looks green, does that help?" I say rolling my eyes, and I slide the phone back to her across the table.

"This is stupid," she laughs.

"You're tellin' me?" I quip, and I glare with displeasure at her current lack of focus.

She does a double take when she notices me staring coldly at her. "Okay, okay, I guess my quest to find what plant assaulted me this afternoon will have to wait until later."

"Or tomorrow," I add under my breath, and she warmly smiles at me.

I watch Holly place her phone into her pocket, then take a hair elastic from her wrist. She watches me watch her as she ties her hair up into a roughly looped ponytail. It's seems to take little to no effort for her to look gorgeous. _Your face is so annoying._

"There was no coffee or cake a year and a half ago when I was last here," she says as she finally takes in her surroundings. "Or tables and chairs for that matter," she adds as she adjusts the cushion beneath her.

"They also have Tapas and a liquor license on a Friday night." I say as I look at the wine menu.

"Hmm, lucky us," she winks at me. "You know I used to work here during the summer holidays when I was a teenager. My grandmother and I used to come back here when we could, more so after my grandfather died.

"I did know that actually. You must have been in your element here," I say, as I turn my nose up at all the books.

"Wait, you did? H -how?" She stutters.

"Sweetheart," I hear from behind me, and we are suddenly interrupted by an elderly voice that Holly immediately recognises.

Holly's eyes pop in surprise. "Margaret!" Holly stands up takes two steps and bends down to give the lady a hug. "It's been way too long. This place looks amazing by the way." Holly says beaming. "Gail, this is Margaret, she used to be my boss, and she is one of my grandmothers best friends. Her and her husband own this bookstore." She turns to me with her arm around Margaret's shoulder. Holly looks like an amazon compared to this woman.

"It's nice to see you again ma'am." I say.

"You too sweetheart, but remember, call me Margaret, ma'am makes me sound like an old lady, but it's nice to see some people still have manners these days." She chuckles.

"Gail is a police officer, Margaret, formality seems to come naturally to her. Wait, you two have already met?" Holly asks, brow furrowed?

"Yes, I met your lovely girlfriend, Gail, this morning dear." Margaret answers. _Don't freak out._

I see a look of panic set in on Holly's face. I'm not sure whether she is panicking for herself or if she thought that I would be worried about being called her girlfriend. _I'm kinda okay with this._

"Oh, Gail isn't m..."

"Yes, we bonded this morning over how deaf we have become because of your incessant talking," I say, purposefully cutting her off mid sentence. Holly's panic stricken face turns to confusion, as she opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. _Gail for the win!_

_"_Oh I like this one dear, much better than the last girl you brought by." Margaret chuckles.

We both watch as Holly slowly closes her eyes together tightly, her face begins to turn red. She is obviously wishing herself away from this conversation.

Margaret pats Holly on her back, and hands me the Tapas menu. "I'll leave you girls to it. I will be back personally, to take your order." She smiles.

Holly slumps down into her chair, face still flushed. "So that's Margaret," she says with a nervous laugh.

"Yes, and apparently I am better than the last one" I smirk as I take a sip of water.

"Oh, this is mortifying," she says as she crashes her face into her folded arms that are now resting on the table.

"Well then, I better not mention anything about your ex-boyfriend who is probably working down the street right now at the hotel bar." I laugh. "Who we are totally going to go and spy on later." I snicker as I put down my glass.

"Jesus! Since when do you talk to strangers?" She mumbles into the table.

"I talked to you didn't I?" I quip, as I recall the first day I met her and how for some reason I uncharacteristically spilled my guts to her.

She gradually raises her head, and slides her arms out from under her and reaches for my hands across the table. She finds both and squeezes gently. "You 'bout done there champ?" She whispers. _Most likely not._

I somewhat flinch at the sensation of her warm hands in mine, not enough for her to notice, but her touch starts to give me tingles all over my body. I've never known such a simple gesture could do this to me, and every single time too. I watch her thumbs run circles across the top of my palms. I can't form words, but I manage let out a very awkward grunt.

"So I see you found my it," she says as she moves her thumb down to my wrist. "I knew your curiosity would get the better of you," she devilishly smirks, and releases my other hand.

With my now free hand I start to fiddle with the plastic charms on my bracelet. I remember back to a few hours ago when Holly was taking a shower after her run and I had snuck into the bedroom and went back into her bottom left drawer. This time I had actually looked properly inside and found a silver chain bracelet with little two little plastic skull charms on it. It was obviously cheap, a quick buy, but it was so me, that I decided to put it on then and there, regardless whether it was for me or not, though I'm pretty sure it was. _We share things, right?_

"I actually had it in my purse for a couple of weeks, I just never got around to giving it to you. It's no big deal; I just saw it and I thought of you. I know it's bit tacky, but you are always wearing that skull ring, so I thought, why not? I know it's silly. You don't have to wear it... I..."

I put my elbow on the table, and rest my chin on my hand as I smile through my fingers at her adorable rambling. "Holly! Shut up!" I interrupt insistently and squeeze her hand. _This will never get old._

"Ill stop talking now," she cowers, shaking her head as she laughs at herself.

"I like the bracelet and I am going to wear it, okay?" I say, still amused, but hope to get the message across quickly to save her anymore unnecessary mortification. "I actually have something for you too, you will just have to wait until we get back to the house." I say cavalierly with a smirk, and I observe her pupils dilate. _Get you head out of the gutter, okay?_

"So girls, are you ready to order" I hear Margaret say as she approaches from behind me. I notice Holly surreptitiously glance at ours hands and try to release hers from my grasp, but I don't let her. Instead I squeeze it tighter, and she does the same in response.

"I am going to make this easy for you Margaret, we will have one of everything." I say imperviously, and she raises her eyebrows.

"Don't worry, she can eat" Holly attests, as she refers to my not so very healthy appetite. _Gee thanks. _

"And a bottle of your house white thanks" I say as I remove my hand from Holly's.

As I let the blood flow back to my fingers, I pass Margaret the wine list, and she places her hand on my shoulder, and whispers in my ear. I look at Holly watching us, dumbfounded, and I grin back her.

"What the hell was that about?" Holly questions as Margaret walks away.

"You." I say.

* * *

_Black Books Coffee House_ it reads. I back peddle as I look into the shop window._ Mmm, cake!_

I walk in and go straight to the counter and look at the delicious goodies beneath it, thinking I could perhaps buy something for dessert for tonight. I wish their smell would somehow disguise that of the dusty books._ How could anyone work here?_

_"_Can I help you sweetheart?" I hear the old lady say from across the counter, or practically beneath it because she is so short.

"Yes, I am probably going to buy a lot of cake." I say_. Decisions decisions._

I realise this lady might be able to help me, and this point I am pretty desperate for ideas. "I don't suppose you know of a good place to eat dinner in this town do you?" I ask, as my eyes look past her head to a board full of photos behind her.

"Well my dear we actually have a Tapas menu here on Friday nights, as well as a liquor license."

"Hmm wine and books, can't go wrong with that," I mumble.

"Excuse me, dear?"

"Oh, I was just talking to myself" I blush, as my eyes continue to look at the photos behind her. I could swear I see Holly_. _The lady turns to see what I am looking at, as I have rudely yet to look her properly in the eye while speaking. She looks back at me.

"Sorry ma'am, but is that Holly Stewart in that photo?" I ask, squinting.

"Yes, it is, dear. Do you know her?"

"Ah, yes, I'm her gi..." I pause as I realise what I'm about to say. "Best friend. I'm staying with her at her house, by the lake?" I divulge. _Whoops_.

"Well I hope she drops by before she leaves again. That girl is always running a mile a minute!" _Don't I know it!_

"Well now I am thinking of bringing her here tonight." I say without a second thought and I continue to look curiously at the photo.

"Holly was about... 16 here, I'd say. Beautiful isn't she?" She asks and I nod my head in total agreement. "And that is me, and that is her boyfriend, Pete," she points out.

"Ha!" I exclaim and the lady laughs and leans closer to the counter.

"Don't tell her this, but he came back here about a year ago, and now works down at the local Hotel, as a barman." She whispers, quietly laughing. "Oh, I miss her, such a sweet girl. I was actually thinking about her the a few months ago in fact, I found one of her favourite books she used to read as a child. She was here a lot. I'll show it to you." _Oh, okay and there she goes._

I look back at the photo while I wait. I am so going to tease her about this. _I told her she'd be sorry._

"Here it is. The Ugly Duckling" She says, interrupting my current chain of thought. "I never sold it as she liked it so much. It's a special edition. The illustrations are hand painted, you see? Kind of a beautiful reflection of her personal journey don't you think?"

There is obviously some stuff that I don't know about Holly yet, but if I remember correctly this book isn't just about cute ducklings playing in a pond. I pick up the book and turn it over. "Is it for sale, now?" I ask. I scowl, as my heart sinks when I see the sticker priced $900. _For a children's book? Seriously?_

She takes it from my hands and peels the sticker off. "For you dear, it's $50. My name is Margaret by the way." She says warmly.

"And I am Gail. Thank you." _I'll take it._


	14. Chapter 12 b)

**I am so bloody tired. Haven't had time to check over this properly yet. I am surprised at what a sap I have become writing this.**

**I have this idea that could probably end this fic next chapter. But I haven't decided. I have enjoyed writing this and I am not sure if I want to stop.**

* * *

Holly rubs her forehead with a half clenched fist as she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and gradually slides her front teeth over it until it pops back out. She loudly taps her fingers against the table and takes in a staggered breath as she pushes her piece across the board.

"Interesting move there, Lunchbox. And you say you've played chess before?" I tease. This is finally something I can win at.

"Are you trying to psych me out?" She says as she takes a sip of wine.

"I don't need to, it seems you are already doing that yourself." I laugh.

"I know what I'm doing," she assures me.

"Sure you do. You see that there?" I point out. "That there is called a Bad Bishop."

"A Bad Bishop? You really are insane." She laughs throwing her head back ever so slightly.

"No, I am just really good at chess. You have blocked your bishop in with your pawns." I say as she leans in closer to the board and I point to her offending pawns.

She slumps back into her seat with a wry smile plastered across her face. "Officer Gail Peck, master chess player. Who would have thought?" she says as she circles the rim of her wine glass with her finger. "So why is it exactly that you are so good at chess?" She questions in disbelief.

I let out an audible sigh. "That would be my mothers doing. One of many ways she has been brainwashing me since I was a child." I admit.

"By developing your prefrontal cortex?" She quips, and takes another sip of wine. _Smart-ass._

"You know what?" I pause. "I don't know if I want to talk about this right now."

"What? Why?" She's asks looking completely puzzled at my sudden 180.

"I have the gift of foresight," I state resolutely.

I watch the lines slowly appear on her forehead as she raises her eyebrows at me. "Foresight?"

_Ugh._ "Because I know how this conversation is going to end. You are going to end up reeling me in once again. It's getting old don't you think? _What, you can't read minds by now?_

"I don't care, I want to get to know you. You can trust me." She insists.

"I do trust you." I say without hesitation.

"Then continue, please. Really, I don't mind. You are not going to scare me off. That ship has long since sailed my friend." I can tell by her apparent eagerness she isn't going to let this go. _Just give in_.

"So? You were saying? You, mother, chess, brainwashing. Go." She says, as she forcibly waves her hand towards me. I look back down at the chessboard and start to contemplate my next move and my next sentence.

"Ok, so from about age 8 to 13, she made me play every night. Drilling me with rules. Telling me to concentrate when I couldn't concentrate anymore, making me replay moves that were obvious to her, but not to me."

"Maybe it was her way of spending time with you?" She states with hesitance. _I could only hope.  
_

"I'm sure that's how she rationalised it, but I don't think so. She never made it feel like that, well to me anyway, I cant speak for Steve. It was never just a game to her" I pause. "I never really had much time to do anything I liked. And if I did, I had to do it in secret, I think in some ways I still do." I divulge. I realise my last sentence probably doesn't sound that great in context of the current situation we are in together.

"I guess you could say she built me from the ground up. I am one of her emotionless Super Solders. Actually, more like a failed experiment, and the only way to save me now is to find me a husband." I painfully laugh because I know it's true.

"You're joking right?" She asks with a coarse voice. The look on her face is numbing.

I drop my head, "I don't really know anymore," I reveal as I pick up my Queen and move it. "Checkmate." I raise my head and watch her eyes burn holes into my soul. "Quite the catch aren't I?" I chuckle. I can only manage a weak smirk at this point.

She rests both her arms on the table and takes a deep breath, before biting the corner of her bottom lip, like she always does when she is about to say or do something.

"Go on, just say it already, Lunchbox." I urge. _I know you want to._

She gently smiles at me and holds out her hand over the table, willing me to take it. I really don't want to. This conversation has rather quickly become a bit too serious for my liking. If I don't take her hand, I am not sure I want, or can, deal with her reaction to any sort of rejection, however small it may be. _Fuck it. _I place my hand in hers and hold my breath.

"I will only say this once. Man, woman, whatever happens? You are. You are a catch. And I will never tell you otherwise. I know that there is so much more to you than what you freely put out there for everyone to see. I know, I've seen it. Your brother has too. You may play it sometimes, but you are not a victim, Gail, " she says and casually releases her grip from my hand like it was nothing.

"How was that?" She asks. "See? Not too painful," she quips somewhat lightening the mood, and I let out the breath I was holding.

I shrug my shoulders. "Meh. I think you could have done better," I kid.

Holly clears the chessboard and places a king in the middle of it. "This is you," she points.

"And this" she pauses, gathering all the pawns and four castles, one by one places them around the king in a square, a castle on each corner, "is the wall you put up" she continues. She then places the knight on the outside of the wall in front of her.

"And who is that?" I ask, as I become increasingly aware of my ever-increasing vulnerable state.

"Whomever you want or need it to be." She conveys without any pressure, or suggestion that it is herself.

She holds the king in place with two fingers then knocks down the pawn between it and the knight.

"It only takes one, Gail." She says soothingly and looks me straight in the eye.

"But what if I need help?" I say into my wine glass.

"Then you ask for it," she declares, and she picks up the knight and begins knocking down the remaining pawns with it.

"I don't want to be like this you know." I softly admit.

"I know." She reflects, with a quiet understanding.

* * *

"That guy took your V card?" _I know I am so childish. "_Well he is very cute. He growed up gooood." I draw out laughing. "Much different from his picture on the photo board," I remark as we both peer though the window of the bar door.

"His picture? What picture?" Holly asks confused.

"The photo board at Black Books." I confirm.

"There's a photo board?" she asks. _Wow, slow much?_

"Yes we walked straight passed it, near the counter on the way in and out?" I say as I turn my face to her. _What are you blind?_

"Well maybe I was a little distracted because I was staring at you." She giggles into the window.

"On the way out maybe, on the way in you were too busy eye fucking plants on your phone."

"Oh my god, don't be crass." She laughs and steps away from me in disgust.

"Well we have to go in there and have a drink." I say as I pull on her arm and reach for the door handle.

"No we soooo don't." She says and pulls me back immediately in defiance.

"But I have to scope out the competition." I whine as I pull away from her arm and go back to window. _The competition? Jesus!_

"You totally win that competition. No seriously, I can't, I broke his heart." She says laughing and I hear her take a step backwards.

"Oh god, what did you do to the poor guy? Apart from the obvious." I ask as I turn around.

She squints her eyes at me and puts her hands in her jean pockets. "I cut and run. I was secretly in love with his sister." She declares as she scrunches her face in embarrassment.

I cover my mouth with my hand. "Oh no!" I mumble through my fingers.

"Oh yes." She nods.

"But you came out when you were like 25, right?"

"I know. I was a very confused and depressed teenager. Took me a while to work through stuff. Do you want to go sit somewhere? It's not too cold yet." She deflects. "We could sit by the lake somewhere?"

* * *

We lie on our backs on the picnic table in the local park and look at the night sky. Holly points at the shooting stars as I listen to the buzzing of the closest park light.

"You know if we had driven tonight we totally could have parked somewhere." I joke. _Or am I?_

Even though I'm not looking at her I can still feel her smile. "I'm not really that type of girl, Gail."

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I sit up to read the message. "It's Traci. They definitely won't be back before midnight. Very early morning most likely," I say and I put my phone back in my pocket. The thought of being alone with Holly for most of the night surprisingly doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would, but then again we haven't got back to the house yet, so who knows how I will feel then.

I look back up at the sky as Holly sits up. I can hear her fumbling for something in her pocket. I suddenly feel her lips on my cheek and a flash of light in my eyes. "What on earth are you doing?" I ask.

She looks at her phone and at the picture she has just taken. "I needed photographic proof that I once went out with a hot blonde. For the grandkids you know?" She giggles. _Yeah sure, how adorable._

"Gimme that" I flap as I yank the phone from her hands. "There is no composition here. The lighting is dreadful. You have startled your subject, and look, your finger is partially over lens." I lecture and she laughs at her obvious ineptness. "Deleted!"

"You are so weird" she chuckles.

"The flash is unflattering, so turn it off. There is enough light from the moon and park light. Try again," I say as I hand her back her phone.

"Who are you? Annie Leibovitz?" She says as she resets the camera on her phone then holds it out in front of us. _What a dork._

"Your finger is over the lens again" I snigger. I grab her wrist and pull it down a little. "Hold it here, or our heads will be chopped off."

"You are so bossy, Officer." She says flirtatiously.

"Shut up! Okay, you ready? I'm going to count you down. Three." I'm totally going to pull a silly face. "Two." No I'm not. "One".

I can feel the permeating heat from her face on mine as she moves closer to my cheek. I turn my head towards her right before she is about to close her eyes and purse her lips. I fully intend to catch her kiss, but she stops abruptly and looks at me. This look is different to the ones I have seen from her before. Her bottom lip slightly quivers. She is nervous, vulnerable, and maybe even a bit afraid of me, of us. All the things I had been feeling up until this point, I can see now see written across her face. Our lips aren't even touching, but I can feel them all over my body, taunting me. "Where did you come from?" I whisper and I tentatively edge my lips closer to hers and place my hands on the sides of her face, as I hear the click of her camera phone. She briefly smiles into my eyes, then my lips, and I know I can't hold out any longer. Her warm soft lips linger on mine as she drops her phone and firmly grasp my arms. My hands cradle her jaw, before they slide down around the back of her neck pulling her impossibly closer as she deepens the kiss. She tastes of longing, of necessity, as she breathes life into me with every wanting breath, filling my lungs with the still night air. I somehow manage to pull my lips away from hers and they throb as she fleetingly applies a kiss to the side of my jaw.

"Holy fuck" I mumble as I try collect my breath.

"Took you long enough" she whispers and she grins that crooked grin that I have gradually come to love so much.


	15. Chapter 13

**Thank Muse, and a train trip home for this chapter. I thought it was going to take a lot longer for me to put this up. Nothing special, just a bit of teasing.**

**Thanks again for all the lovely comments, I really appreciate the positive feedback.**

* * *

Our walk home was in comfortable silence. She had dragged me into the middle of the road with her, and I didn't object, as I just wanted to be close to her. In our silence we would share the occasional flirtatious hip or shoulder bump. But in a few more steps this would all be over, so my feelings at the moment are a bit of a mixed bag. There is relief that our date is finally over. And maybe, just maybe, I can now unclench every muscle in my body. The tension had disappeared after we started drinking but as we left the bookstore and walked out into the street, it was immediately back, to the point where I felt my leg start to cramp.

I feel a little apprehensive about walking through that front door. I am not sure what I'm expecting to happen, let alone what she might expect from me. I really don't want to have to run off and hide in the bathroom. Not to mention the butterflies that are wreaking havoc inside my chest and stomach. I don't think I have had them this bad since I was nineteen, and my first boyfriend had felt me up in the back of his car on our second date.

As Holly waits at the bottom of the steps for me, her eyes glued to the front door, I can only wonder if she is having similar feelings. She smiles that gentle smile as she turns towards me. _Mmm, butterflies, lots of butterflies. _"You made it. No piggyback needed."

"If I had remembered about half a K ago, maybe I would have made you," I huff.

"Well, I could always carry you these last few steps," she says as she leans against the railing post, with one hand on her hip. _What and over the threshold?_

I walk past her and stop on the first step. "I think I'll be fine," I say as I feel her hand slip into mine and squeeze gently. I lead her up the steps to the front door and she releases my hand and starts looking for her keys in her jeans pockets, and I place my elbow on top of her shoulder, and wait. She can't seem to find them, so she pats herself down as if she was wearing a jacket.

"Try you're back pocket, I saw you put them there when we left the house," I say as I recall the moment earlier when I had just happened to be checking out her ass in her jeans. I shake my head to try and get rid of the mental image that flashes before my eyes and she chuckles as she reaches around to her butt for her keys. Funny how these things happen. I'm still trying to pinpoint when I became so attracted to her, a woman. _She's a woman!_

"Observant aren't you," she says as she opens the wire door. I hold it open as she unlocks the front door. I go to follow her in but she stops and quickly spins around making me nearly head-but her in the chest but I manage to step back just in time.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

She drops her head towards the ground with a weird grin on her face and nervously kicks her feet against the doormat. "You know," she pauses and anxiously brushes the hair out of her eyes and flicks it behind her ears. "I would ask you to come in, but I have got some people staying with me tonight, so..."

"Cute." _Fine, I'll play. _

"That's okay, I don't sleep with people on the first date anyway." Not entirely true, but in this case, I'm pretty sure it is. _I can't believe I just brought this up._

"Just the last couple of nights then?" She asks as she raises her head.

"Minor detail, though not what I meant," I say as I lean my hands against the doorframe.

"I know what you meant, Gail," she says softly with a half smirk. _Change the subject._

"As much as I like standing here with you freezing my tits off, _don't say tits_, I should probably get going. Thank you for the lovely company this evening. I'll see you around, nerd." I lean in and lightly kiss her on her cheek and I linger a little longer than someone normally would in this situation. I step away from her and turn to walk down the steps. It's not even half a step before she grabs my arm and pulls me back through the door.

"My god, It's hot in here!" I exclaim, as I pull my sweater back from my chest to let some air in.

"I turned the heat on before we left, must have turned it up too much" she says as she walks over to the central heating switch.

"No shit," I mumble under my breath.

I stand in the middle of the room and shove my hands in my pockets and kick off my boots, and I gracelessly lose my balance. My first thought is to head straight for the cake I bought this morning that is sitting in the fridge. No better time than the present to eat my feelings, right?

I feel a pair of eyes on me from across the room, and I look up in time to see Holly start to approach me slowly with a pleased look on her face. _What is she up to?_ My blood starts to pump faster; I can hear my pulse inside my head. I feel my hands start to sweat, so I remove them from my pockets and nervously wipe them down the sides of my pants, then casually place them on my hips so not to seem so obviously uncomfortable. _Fat chance._

"It is really hot in here" she reaffirms, only ten steps away from me. I nod and take a deep breath in through my nose. She can read me better than anyone, she knows what's going on in my head, and I think she is about to milk this for all it's worth. "I think I should take my sweater off," she says, now only a few steps away from me and I release the air from my lungs.

"Okay..." I say unsurely in a very weak tone, as she stops an inch away from me and tugs lightly at the bottom of my sweater.

"MY sweater," she reiterates as she slightly edges it up over my hips. _Oh, I see what you are doing._

"Arms up" she smiles and I slowly oblige. She gradually pulls the sweater up towards my chest and I can feel her knuckles graze, I assume purposely, along the sides of my body and I try my best not to react. I can be quite ticklish. She doesn't break eye contact except for when she pulls it over my head.

"You are having way too much fun here. Turned up the heat by accident did we? Very cunning. Thirty seconds inside and you are already undressing me, must be some sort of nerd record," I joke.

"Well, you looked a bit flustered," she says taking a step back, her eyes still firmly on mine. She agonisingly slowly lifts her own sweater up. As her face disappears behind the fabric, I look down and watch her top underneath hike up above her belly button, but it reveals something I just can't un-see. _What the fuck was that?_ I quickly glance up to make sure I catch her eyes again as she pulls her sweater over her head. I don't want to give her even the slightest satisfaction of knowing I was inspecting her body. _I'm a cop, I can do that, right?_

"If I wasn't flustered then, I certainly am now, you big tease" I say biting my lip. _There must be flames coming out of my head right now_.

"Payback for all the embarrassment you caused me in front of Margaret tonight." _Is this how it's gonna work then?_

She steps away and throws both sweaters onto the couch. "Would you like a coffee?" she asks as she gently rubs the side of my arm. _Her little game seems to be over._

"Mmm, I'd love one." I need something to calm these nerves.

"Why don't you put some music on since you already seem to know your way around the system" she smirks.

I watch her as she walks towards the kitchen and kicks off her shoes, successfully into a pile beside the fridge. _That's how it's done._

"Gail, music?" she says as I slowly start to notice she had turned around. _Why is it always me who gets caught staring?_

As I walk over to the records I remember back to the book store when Margaret had whispered something in my ear. She had said, "When you are not looking, she can't take her eyes off of you." I mean at the time, even though I was grinning at Holly's look of confusion, I was thinking why the fuck is this lady whispering in my ear telling me things that I should already know. I have always been a pretty perceptive person, I notice things, it's my job, but I seem to have blinders on where Holly is concerned.

"So what's the deal with the piano?" I ask as I pull out a random record and put it on the turntable. _Dance party! To the sounds of Rosemary Clooney? No thanks. _I decide to turn the radio on instead, so I switch it on and turn the volume down.

"It's my grandmothers. She was a concert pianist back in the day," Holly calls from the kitchen.

I sit down on the piano stool and run my fingers over the dusty velvet cloth. "Do you play too?" I ask.

She hesitates as she walks to the edge of the kitchen. "Ah, yes, I do."

"Do you play well?"

"You could say that, but I have a crippling phobia of playing in front of anybody." _Sounds familiar._

"So you gonna play something for me?" I ask as I walk over to her in the kitchen.

"I said crippling phobia. Crippling. So that would be a no," she chuckles and I poke my tongue out at her. "You going to sing for me?" she asks.

"Maybe if I were drunk and we were at a karaoke bar," I say as I lean over the kitchen island. "If she was a concert pianist where's the big piano, you know the one with the thing that holds the other thing up so you can see all the stuff inside?" _Eloquent, Gail._

She laughs at me. "That would be the grand piano, and it's in my apartment. There is quite a large open space so it fits quite nicely. You will have to come over for dinner sometime soon and see it," she says. _Come over and see your piano, right... good one._

"Maybe I will," I say nonchalantly as I stand up and release my hair from its ponytail. "Though only if you play me something."

"We'll see. If the day ever comes," she says as she places two coffee mugs on the bench. _If?_

_"_But there will be no cheesy duets, okay?" I laugh a_s _I walk over to the fridge in search of my cake.

"Hungry again?" she asks.

"Holly, I'm always hungry."

"So I've noticed," she scoffs.

"I bought cake. One of two things I achieved this morning in town."

"Nice, what was the second thing?" she asks.

"You'll just have to wait and see," I smile from behind the fridge door.

"Oh, I see. So what kind of cake did you get?"

I take the box from the fridge and put it on the island. "Err, one is Black Forest and the other is... something fruity. Or maybe it's nutty."

"Maybe you're the one who's nutty," she says leaning over my shoulder.

"You are lucky I don't hit girls" I joke.

"No, you just..." she says as she stops herself abruptly from finishing that sentence.

"I just what?" I ask as I turn around quickly and face her.

"Nothing! I said nothing, doesn't matter" she laughs.

I scowl at her and blow the hair out of my eyes as step closer to her, and she backs away from me in equal measure. "I just what?" I repeat and she sucks in her bottom lip as her back hits the bench.

"Kiss them," she quietly says, through her staggered breath. _Oh really?_ I place my hands either side of her on the bench and I slowly move in closer so my body is almost pressed against hers. I smirk as I raise my hand up towards her face, not breaking eye contact, as I tease my fingers across her cheek, and then stretch my arm out to reach for the plates in the cupboard behind her head. I look at her lips as I lift the plates down from the shelf and then I push off the bench with my other hand. _Two can play at this game._

"You smell nice," she states as I back away slowly.

"Oh really? It's called "no chance in hell", you heard of it?" I smirk and turn back toward the island.

"No, but I am becoming very familiar with the scent," she says as I feel a hand slide up my back and onto my shoulder. I feel a warm kiss on the back of my neck, and her thumb follows, as she brushes it over the same spot and I accidentally drop the plates quite loudly onto the bench. _What the hell are you doing to me?_

She smells nice too, seeing as she has to mask the stench from work, she always does but I'm not about to tell her so, as I have already done that once today, and that's already one time too many.

"Why don't I grab us some spoons?" she softly says in my ear. _You do that._


	16. Chapter 14

"Holly, everything okay?"

"No, yeah, fine. Its just work," she says as her fingers tap away on at her phone. I am not sure if I really believe her. She didn't look me in eye when she answered, like she usually would if I was concerned with her well-being.

Holly puts her phone down on the coffee table. She has been dodging texts for the last few hours, which I didn't give a second thought about at the time. She had said they were nothing, and I had believed her, maybe it was the wine at dinner that clouded my judgement. But she is now staring intensely at her phone, not saying a word.

"Hey nerd," I say from the other end of the couch. "Did you get that Dr Who t-shirt at a comic convention?"

She rolls her eyes back and shakes her head. "No, I haven't had the pleasure of that experience."

"I have worked those events. You'd fit right in." I quip.

"Let me guess, you hate my t-shirt?"

"As far as geeky shirts go, I guess it looks alright on you."

"Be careful Gail, if you keep going like this you are going to become a pro at giving compliments. Your colleagues won't know what hit them when you get back."

"I know, every time I hear it coming out of my mouth I just want to throw up," I say as I stick my finger in my mouth and make my best spew face.

Holly giggles and sinks into the couch and rests her feet on the coffee table and I can't help but notice her odd socks. "Well I'm glad I changed out of my clothes before we ate that cake," she says as she rubs her belly. "Look! Look how fat my belly is?" She says as she puffs out her stomach, and strokes it some more. "I will have to run it off tomorrow."

"You not one of those people are you?" I groan.

"No, I just said it because I knew it would annoy you," she answers. _Funny._

"You do do a good fake pregnant belly though," I say and I wince as I realise I have basically just given her another compliment, however weirdly strange it was. "I just did it again, didn't I?"

She smiles and silently mouths "yep" as she nods, her chin hitting her chest. "You are on fire tonight. I should probably catch up, so I can make you even more uncomfortable."

"Like I could even stop you," I snark.

"You are right, you can't, just like you can't stop the compliments from pouring out of your mouth," she snarks back and pokes her tongue out at me.

She takes her feet off the table and edges back up the sofa and crosses her legs underneath herself, to face me. "We are going to play a game."

My ears pique. "Video game?"

"Do you see a console laying around? No. Face me," she demands, as she leans way over and lifts my legs up, spinning me around on the couch. "Now, all you have to do is sit still and look at me."

"That's it? Too easy." I say as I feel my face start to burn, I have basically been doing that all day anyway.

"You think so now. I am going to give you compliments, and you are going to sit there and take them. Only you aren't allowed to react. Smile, scowl, move, roll your eyes, etcetera, or you will lose.

"What the hell do I get if I win this game?"

"You get to choose the next game, and make me squirm."

"That's hardly winning, as you didn't win anything for you to choose this game."

"Fine! You can choose the next game regardless, and punish me for losing however you want." _That's a weird request. Though it would be fun._

"And if you win this game?"

"Hmm. The pleasure I get when I compliment you is enough, and you knowing that will be your punishment." She laughs.

"There is something really wrong with you, you know that?" I say and she ignores me.

"So I will give you ten compliments, and one free pass."

"One?" I say as I scratch my head.

"Yes, only one. Come on, this shouldn't be that hard; your default expression is deadpan. You ready?"

I take a deep breath and nod. "Actually, can you not lean forward so much, it's a little intimidating" I laugh and she sits back. "Okay, I'm ready. Oh and lay off the cheesiness."

"It's my game, I'll do what I want, so here we go. One. You have a good gate when you run." _Seriously? Hmm, I bet she is just warming up. "_Two. You give me butterflies whenever I am around you." _That's new, usually its 'you give me a headache'._ "Three. Your icy stares are my favourite, as it gives me a clearer view of your soulful blue eyes." _It's fine; at least she is not swimming in them._ "Actually, I remember when I first met you at that crime scene and you were..."

I hold my hand out in a stop signal in front of my face. "Wait up! You can't do that! Compliments are short. You can't just crap on like that. This totally doesn't count as a reaction by the way.

"Fine! Four. If you were a bone, you would be a femur." _Whatever, I am a bone. Wait, oh, the strongest bone. I suppose that's nice. "_Five. When I think about your pretty face, you make me run into spiky bush things." _I won't smile. I won't. Stop it! "_Six. You are courageous. Maybe too much." _And there's her stop-throwing-yourself-in-front-of-bullets face. Fair enough, not a fan either. "_Seven. You listen." _Huh? What you say? LOL_. "Eight. You are more fun than bubble wrap." _OMG! That's precious; I almost want to break just to give you some hope of winning._ "Nine. You are a better kisser than all my previously girlfriends." _Well duh? "_Ten. You deserve all these compliments."

Holly leans forward and squints her eyes at me. "Pretty sure you smiled on the last one. Shit! I underestimated you. I totally should have laid more cheese on there. Were you even listening or were you playing some shooter game in your head?"

"According to number seven. I listen. You can't pull this kind of stuff on a Peck," I state with a cheeky smile.

"Fine, I will have to add excellent memory to that list as well. So what's my punishment? This is going to be bad isn't it?

"Yes, this shit is about to get very uncomfortable and embarrassing for you," I laugh.

I edge towards her end of the couch so our knees touch. "You know that bracelet you gave me?"

"You mean this one?" She says as picks up my hand and moves the chain around my wrist. "I vaguely recall it, yes," she chuckles. "You not going to play some Jedi mind trick on me are you?"

I lick my lips and I lean over and leave a wet kiss on her lips. "Just shut up and close your eyes," I tell her and she does almost immediately. She either likes being told what to do or I have found her achilles heal_. Noted_.

"Kissing me isn't exactly punishment, you know."

"Ssshhh!" I remove my hand from hers and place it on her stomach. "That's not a baby, just cake. Are you planning on exorcising a demon or something?" she laughs. _My god, do you ever just shut up?_

"And what's this?" I say as I lift her t-shirt up slightly, and graze my finger over the silver ring piecing in her belly button.

She immediately throws her hands over her already closed eyes, and it takes all my will power not to laugh at her.

"You weren't meant to see that." _Obviously_. "You're freaking out aren't you? I would," she says violently shaking her head.

"No you are freaking out. I'm fine; it's actually quite sweet. And what if I had attempted to get into your pants tonight?"

"I would have stopped you. She mumbles through her hands."

"Just because of a little skull charm on your belly button ring?" I ask.

"No exactly, you dork! Because we are not ready to take that step yet, we don't even know what we mean to each other."

I pull her hands away from her face and she still has her eyes closes. "Open your eyes, nerd."

"Nope. Are you staring at me?" She asks.

"Of course not, I never stare at you," I cackle.

"Liar."

* * *

I lift my feet up to rest on the coffee table next to Holly's as she knocks her feet together like Dorothy. The fact she is wearing odd socks is still quite amusing to me. One striped pink and grey, and one green. How could she get it so wrong?

"Are you colour blind as well?" I ask.

She instantly smiles, as she knows what I'm referring to because her feet stop knocking together.

"No, I'm just kooky like that. You should see my sock drawer," she quips. "It's a beautiful colourful mess."

I turn towards her. "You are quite 'special'," I emphasise with air quotes and she glares at me. "Why don't you take it as a compliment," I smile and I slump back into the sofa and into the uncomfortable silence.

"This is weird isn't it?" she blurts, and I audibly chuff. "Well it is! I feel like a couple of teenagers who just got caught making out by their parents."

"No parents here," I say looking around the room.

She turns her head to look at me, "No kissing either." _The night is still young. "_So why are you being weird? I know why I am," she asks.

"I -I... Have you ever been good friends with someone first, then it eventually became more?" _Crap, where am I going with this?_

"A few times, yes."

"Are you still friends now?"

She closes one eye and scrunches her face. 'Hmm."

"Thought as much," I mumble.

"Is that something you are worrying about?"

"Considering I don't really have any friends, yes, it is playing on my mind a bit," I admit.

She nudges my foot with hers. "What are you talking about, you have friends. What about the guys at work?"

"They are more like dysfunctional family. The ones I can tolerate anyway. I don't confide in them, like you are supposed to with friends... Or so I've read." I laugh as she plays footsies with me.

"But you confided in your boyfriends. Chris and Nick?"

"No, not really, I don't think I ever really built any kind of trust with them. Don't get me wrong, I love Chris, but yeah, never felt safe with them," I admit._ I said 'love'; I suppose that's fair._

"So what are you saying?" she asks.

"What I am trying to say is that since we met I formed more of an emotional bond with you than anyone, past or present. I feel like I have more to lose here. See, you are a likeable person, so if tomorrow this all went terribly wrong, losing a friend doesn't matter so much to you. Let's face it; I make a terrible first impression.

She grimaces. "I wouldn't say that, no one likes losing friends, Gail, and no one is saying you will," she says shaking her head. "And I thought this was going to be about me being a girl." She scoffs.

"You're a girl? Shit! I hadn't noticed. Not right now it isn't. Nope, I'm just your typical emotionally scarred, scared, scorned, angry, grouchy, snarky, cold, insecure, sociopathic girl."

"Insane, don't forget insane" she laughs. "Well I think that girl sounds amazing."

"Now who's insane," I gibe. "I just remembered I have something for you, stay there," and I jump up and over her legs and jog out of the room. _I have really got to stop running in front of her or she will get ideas._

"It's a belated birthday present," I yell from the bedroom. I grab the wrapped book from my suitcase and make my way out to the lounge. I just wanted to chuck it in a brown paper bag, but Margaret had insisted on wrapping it with all the bells and whistles. _Fucking string everywhere._

"You really shouldn't have" she says as I drop it in her lap, and I flop down right next to her and put my arm across the back of the sofa behind her.

"And why were you acting weird?" I ask as she starts to tear the wrapping off.

"Not including our previous conversation? Oh, I was... Um, screwed, I'm totally screwed. Actually wait, you are totally screwed! This is the book!"

"Yeah, a book. Sorry, no vomit inducing inscriptions that I know you love so much," I quip. "Wait, why am I screwed exactly?"

She runs her hands over the cover of the book. I tug lightly on her hair as I look at her face and her expression. _I don't know what the fuck that expression is._

I suddenly feel her hand take mine and place it on top of the book under hers. "Because I can never ever just be your friend."

"Oh."_ Yup, so screwed._


	17. Chapter 15

"Because I can never, ever, just be your friend."

"Oh."_ Yup, so screwed._

* * *

"Gail?"

So five weeks ago this tall, athletic brunette with a weird-ass lunchbox strolls into my crime scene, mouths some stuff about dirt, bugs and medical what-not, makes me feel like a total idiot, but still manages to grab my complete attention. Now I find myself sitting next to her, hand in hand, nursing a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, a feeling I have had before. It was only 6 days ago, the night she had run away from me and I had shown up at her apartment. She basically told me she couldn't handle being around me, and the frightened look in her eyes, and the way her voice trembled broke my heart. Deep, deep down, I just wanted to hold her, touch her, in any way I could, just like I do now. Even then she had already started to peel back my layers. You see... I'm like an onion... _Oh fuck! What's with me and the metaphors all of a sudden_! I'm pretty sure within the next few minutes I will be throwing myself at her and probably groping her like some horny fifteen-year-old boy.

Everything sounds muffled. My eyes are blurry, but I can just make out Holly's hand waving in front of my face. "Gail? Gail!" she shouts.

I come to, and snap my head up towards her, "Mmm?"

I follow her hand with my eyes as she places it on my shoulder. "You totally zoned out for like 20 seconds."

"I did? I did." I repeat in agreement.

"Yeah, and you mumbled something or other about '6 days ago?'" She mentions curiously.

"Sorry," I say as I stand up, taking the book with me, and I stare intently at the cover as I remember back to half a minute ago when she was saying those words to me. _Must be some book._

"So you obviously heard what I said?" she asks.

I lift the book up to my chin and look down at her on the couch, and watch the remnants of her smile slowly fade. "Yes, I heard you," I say with a smile, as I try to reassure her I'm not about to bolt out of the room. "I -I just want..." _to_ _say something._

She pushes her glasses from her nose to the top of her head. "Do you want a glass of water? I'll get us some water," she asks as she edges off the couch and stands up to walk to the kitchen.

"No, I don't want a glass of water, nerd," I spout as I catch her hand and pull her back towards me. She looks at me with a somewhat strained kindness in her eyes as she strokes my arm with her other hand. She knows what's coming, how could she not? Anyone would be blind or kinda stupid not to see it.

"I just want you," I say, as I feel my hand start to tremble between her fingers.

"You just want me to what?" she asks with a straight face. _Seriously? _After a few seconds I watch her lips start to cheekily curl at the edges.

"You are so mean," I say and I feel my brow start to clench as I glare into her eyes.

"And there it is, those eyes" she says as she steps right up into me and slides her hand up from my arm to the back of my neck and pulls my head forward. I immediately shake my hand from hers and push her back with my forearm to her chest. _Not so fast, nerd._

"You know, I was going to let you kiss me, but now I don't think you deserve these lips," I say and step away holding the book in front of my mouth.

"You think that little book you are holding between us, is going to somehow protect you from me," she says as she edges closer to me again.

"That "little book" cost nine hundred dollars," I say, and her eyes widen in shock. _Oh, shit! Reign it in, you sound crazy_! "Minus eight hundred and fifty" I grin as I step backwards bumping into the side table beside the sofa. _Motherfu_...

"Margaret?" She asks, and I nod. _She made me! LOL._

"Yes, and now I think it deserves to be at the bottom of the lake," I blurt out and hastily take off for the front door. I hear her jump over the sofa, and knowing her, she probably did it in one swift move because she has already got a hold of the back of my hoody with both hands. She spins me around by the waist and forcibly pushes me up against the door with her hips. "Some people would call that assaulting a police officer".

"Are you some people?" she asks, and I nod automatically. "Then arrest me officer," she says huskily as she takes the book from my hand. "Just kiss me you idiot!" she tells me as her deep brown eyes watch me with an almost threatening intensity, to the point where I think she is angry with me. I watch her chest rise up and down quickly, and I place my hand over her heart and she flinches at my sudden touch. It's racing quicker than mine is that's for sure as feel her heart pulsate through her chest and into my fingers. She places her hand over mine, and then tightens her grip around it. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation, and my mouth goes dry as I watch her slowly move my hand down over her t-shirt. Her mouth suddenly covers mine as our hands slide down further and over her breast. Although slow, this kiss isn't soft and gentle like before, it tastes of desperation. She breathes heavily into my mouth as she moves my hand back up to caress her breast, and she quietly hums, and I feel the vibrations in and around my mouth. She removes her hand from mine, and then wraps both arms around the back of my neck, with the book still in one hand. I break the kiss as I push off the door with my shoulder blades and I look into her eyes. I smile at her as I move my hands down to her waist, then up under her shirt and I slide my hands all over her back. Her skin feels like it's on fire, making my hands sweat with the radiant heat. As we start to move to the center of the room and back towards the living area, I find my hands have a mind of their own as they move down the back of her shorts, and she cheekily smiles at me when they find the top of her ass. "A bit handsy are we, Officer" she smirks. I don't give her the satisfaction of a reply or my token icy glare she seems to like so much, instead I move arms back up and around to the back of her shoulders and I jump up and wrap my legs around her waist. We stumble backwards as my mouth finds hers again and she blindly tries to put the book on the side table next to the sofa.

"Just chuck it on the floor" I say into her lips and then I proceed to place gentle short kisses on and around her lips.

"I'm not about to throw a nine hundred dollar book onto the floor" she says through her teeth as we hit the back of the sofa. She turns her head away from me and rightly places the book on the side table. My thigh muscles are about to give out on me, but thankfully she notices and moves her hands to the bottom of my thighs and lifts me up properly as she sits on the back of the sofa and I relax onto her lap with my legs still wrapped around her. I remove her glasses from the top of her head and carefully toss them to the side table. I look back at her and she is warmly smiling at me. I've never seen someone so intensely look me in the eye, like she is peering into my soul. It gives me Goosebumps. She brushes the wisps of hair out of my eyes and touches my cheeks with her thumbs as she studies my face. I place my hands on the top of her shoulders as I wait, and she runs her thumbs over my bottom lip. "Thank you for the book. Second best belated birthday present ever," she says now combing her fingers softly through my hair.

"You're welcome," I say as I chastely kiss her on the lips, then her jaw, then her neck. "So what was the first best belated birthday present?" I mumble into her neck.

"The day I met you of course," she says so surely and I sit straight up.

"You are such a cheeseball," I laugh, and she unzips my hoody, peels it off my shoulders and then throws it on to the floor, leaving me in my thin white tank top. _Feeling a little exposed here._

"You love it'" she says as she rolls backwards over the sofa taking me with her. She somehow manages to flip me over on our way down, as she lands on top of me. I move my arm up to rest it under my head against the sofas armrest. She props herself up by an elbow beside my head, turning her body sideways as she slots herself down beside me against the back of the sofa. She runs her fingers from my collarbone down the side my body, and then flattens her hand out when she reaches the top of my sweatpants and softly slides her hand over my ass and thigh. "You really are so beautiful," she says as she runs her hand back up and under my tank top to my shoulder blades. _You seriously have to stop saying that already._

I turn over on my side to face her, and she pulls me in closer with her hand on my back and kisses me with intensified purpose and I completely surrender to her.

* * *

"I need to throw some water on my face" Holly says as I watch readjust her t-shirt and walk out of the room. I fall backwards in a heap onto the barker lounger and pull the leaver. I stretch out my legs and catch my breath for a few moments, and revel in the fact that I basically just felt up Holly. _Totally weird and amazing._

I hear her phone buzz on the coffee table and I look at my watch and it reads 12:30am. My curiosity is going to get the better of me as I see the notification light up her phones screen, so I am going to do what any normal person would do. I stand up and lean over the table and read the message notification that is sitting there, plain as day, for everyone to see. _If you don't want people to see it, don't leave it lying around._

"Ok, Monday morning. Just get it over with already, Stewart." I read, and the screen turns black before I have a chance to see who it's from. I step back over the footrest and lay back down in the chair, when I hear a door close. I grab the book from the side table as Holly walks into the living room, as she ties her hair up into a ponytail. She switches the main light off and walks over to the piano and turns on a lamp sitting on top of it.

"I just heard your phone buzz again," I say as I point to it on the coffee table.

"That's the last time I allow my interns to contact me night or day" she whines as she picks up the phone and reads the message.

"Things must be falling apart over there," I say as I watch her for a reaction, but there isn't one. She puts her phone down and walks over to me.

"Any room for me?" she grins and I sit up and shift sideways a bit. She climbs on and slides down next to me and she nestles her head against my chest. She lays one of her legs over mine on the leg rest as I watch her get comfortable. For the very first time I open up the book. _The Ugly Duckling._ I hadn't even bothered to do so when Margaret handed it to me in the bookstore, I just plunged right in and bought it. "Are you going to read to me," she asks in a hopeful tone.

"No. I think I am going to draw the line at sitting in half darkness, cuddling on a lounge made for one, with your hand up my top." I say and she suddenly stops moving her hand around my bare stomach.

"I'm starting to learn that I can pretty much persuade you to do anything, Officer Peck," she quips as she starts run her fingers round in circles around my belly button. _You're not entirely wrong there._

"You okay there, flinchy?" she asks and I look down at my belly button. "The light tickling sensation you are feeling right now is a result of the analysis of two areas of your brain. The somatosensory cortex is analysing the pressure of my touch and then the signals sent from those sensory receptors in your skin, pass through the anterior cingulated cortex which then result in those pleasant feelings you are getting," she states, and I close the book shut. _Oh, Lunchbox!_

"I'm going to be able to fill out entire crossword puzzles before long," I laugh and put the book down on the floor beside me. I feel Holly's body tighten its grip around me and her hand snakes it's way up my shirt and her fingers land on the bottom of my sternum.

"Home today" she mumbles into my chest. _Argh, nooooo!_

"Are you working today? Wait, what day is it?" I ask as I look at my watch.

"It's Saturday, and yes, I start in the afternoon. Then I will be working all Sunday to catch up on everything the interns have stuffed up while I have been away," she sighs. "But it seems I am rostered off on Monday so that's something. What about you?" she asks.

"I still have a few more days off. One of the perks of being shot at," I joke and I feel her wince through her entire body. "I am working a half shift Monday, from 4am til midday. Maybe we could hang out in the afternoon?"

"Would love to but I am visiting my grandmother in the afternoon, and I usually stay over so, how about breakfast Tuesday?"

"Works for me." I say and I wrap my arm around her back and with my hand coming to rest near her neck.

"Don't let me fall asleep," she mumbles into my chest, "or Steve and Traci may be in for a bit of a shock," she laughs and kisses my chest.

"You just kissed my boob you know."

"I know, closest thing to my lips," she giggles. _Cheeky bugger._


	18. Chapter 16

Thirty minutes ago when I was woken up by unforeseen circumstances, I was feeling a little scared and a bit mortified. But now, it doesn't quite compare. _I can't believe they let children read this!_

I drop the book down between my thigh and the armrest and I brush Holly's hair away from her face as I try to refocus my eyes from the strain of reading in low light. _Holly must have only been looking at the drawings. Yes, that's what she did, looked at the drawings._

I had never read 'The Ugly Duckling' before now, but I knew of the story. So now I am even more concerned than I already was, about what Margaret could have meant when she told me that the story reflected Holly's "personal journey", as she so innocently put it. I find it a little odd that a child's favourite work of fiction could turn out to reflect their eventual reality. _Ugh, so horrible in this case. Why couldn't the story have been about puppies and kittens?_

Holly had glazed over the fact at dinner earlier that she was a very unhappy and depressed teenager, and now having read the story, I need to know how this all ties together. I feel like I am missing something important that most likely shaped her life in someway, making her become the awesome person she is today; a force to be reckoned with, an intellect and unwavering integrity you just want to throw your show at. A weirdo.

I realise there are a lot of different versions of this story, but the thought that this particular book having ever reflected Holly's, I'm assuming, own life challenges, makes me feel physically ill. The fact she would have ever possibly felt they way the duckling did, leaves me with a heavy heart. _I really hope I am reading too much into this._ There is no way that some parts if this story could have ever mirrored her life. Firstly, the duckling was ostracised from his family, so he ran away and left them behind. From the way she talked about her grandparents there is no way this could have ever happened. Secondly...

I lose my train of thought when I notice Holly stir. She nestles her face and purrs into my chest as she slowly wakes from what had seemed like a very deep sleep.

"Now, who's a cat?" I whisper. "Be careful with that paw, you are dangerously close to my..." _Scratching pole? No, don't say that._

"I am so sorry," she interrupts as she removes her hand from under the edge of my pants and sits up looking a bit embarrassed and confused. _If she only knew..._ "How long was I out?" she asks as she yawns and adorably stretches her arms out like a child.

"About two hours."

"And you have been sitting here the whole time?" She asks as she strokes my hair and cheek.

"No, I woke up about thirty minutes ago," I state. _You could tell her why, you coward._"I was reading your book."

She peels her legs off of me and stands up, "I think it's time for bed," she says as she offers me a hand. I take her hand and she pulls me up and slowly and leads me towards the hallway, and stops between the bedroom doors. "You should probably go back to your own bed tonight," she says and my heart drops into my stomach, "seeing as Chris isn't here, might look a bit weird us bunking together with a spare room in the house"

"We were just sleeping though," I say in mild protest.

"I know," she smiles, "but still..."

"Okay then, night," I shrug, as I release her middle finger from my grip.

"Gail, is everything okay? You seem a bit, I dunno... weird." _Not entirely unusual._

"I'm fine," I assure her as I open the door and back into the room. _Yeah right! Banging my head against this door is looking so good about now_. I watch her stand in the hallway with a perplexed look on her face as I slowly close the door. I turn into the room and fall back against the door as I wait to hear Holly open hers.

The moon is shining brightly through the windows, filling the room with a blue haze. _It's never like this in the city. _I wander over to the window and lean my forehead against the glass, and place my hands on the windowsill. As I take a heavy breath, I watch the cold glass fog up then slowly fade away. I stand up straight and kick off my sweat pants and they slide across the bedroom floor. I pull my bra off clumsily through an armhole of my tank top and casually throw it over my head.

"It seems I'm a bit like a cat too"

I turn around quickly as one hand catches the windowsill, the other hand lands on my chest, and I feel my heart suddenly jump from my chest. "Fuck me, Holly." _Why do I keep saying that?_

_"_You know if you keep saying that, I am going to start getting ideas_" _she smiles_._

"Holly, what are you doing?" I ask bluntly.

"Sorry, I probably should have made myself known to you after you started to take your pants off," she says.

"And what about before I took my pants off?" I say as I notice she is holding my bra. _Did she catch that? Of course she did, she's Holly._

The room goes quiet, as she looks at the bra in her hands, then places it on the dresser. "I'm sorry, I was going to say something, but then I forgot when I saw you," she says as she raises her head up to meet my eyes. "Even if you are a bit blurry." _What am I supposed to say to that?_

I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, away from her. I fall backwards across the covers and close my eyes as I start to think of the events of my night with her. So many wonderful thoughts.

"Gail, what's wrong?"

* * *

I breathe in deeply and smile as I remember the dream I was interrupted from a few moments ago, a welcome change from the past nights sleep. I hear the rattle of the front door knob, and all too quickly the sound of shoes shuffling along the wooden floor. I go to move but I can't, there is a brunette laying half on top of me. _Oh yeah... Shit! We fell asleep! _ Her hair is strewn across my chest and her hand has partially made its way under the edge of my pants. So many thoughts are banging around my head right now, but I can't get past the fact I am about to get busted by my one and only brother with Holly's hand down my pants. Well not entirely down my pants... I mean enough down my pants that I can't stop thinking about her hand being down my pants. Pants! Pants! Pants! _Okay, I am pretty sure I am going to have a stroke right about now. _

It's too late to move, as Holly is completely out to the world. If I jump up now it's only going to make her disorientated, which could draw so much more unwanted attention to us. If I lay still perhaps they won't even notice us? From this angle I'm sure they can only see the top of my head, and not the leggy brunette wedged in beside me, right? _Yeah, sure Gail... What? Are you fucking crazy? Of course they are going to see you! Why is this happening to me? I'm good people. Sort of._

I hear the sound of a key drop and it rings through my ears like Chloe's annoying voice. My heart starts to pound like stampede of elephants. If that alone doesn't wake Holly, I'd be very surprised.

"Shhh, the girls are probably in bed asleep" I hear Steve whisper as they fumble and giggle towards they kitchen. "Traci, let's get you to bed." _Ew, gross! _I keep forgetting that this is the first time Traci and Steve have really spent any time together.

"Wait, is that Gail on the sofa? Should we wake her?" I hear Traci whisper. _Oh no!_

"Not unless you want your balls ripped off," he replies. _Thank you brother, and for the lovely mental image, not!_

"Well I'll turn the radio off. Can you get us a glass of water?" she asks Steve. _Don't_ _you dare come over here!_

My muscles tighten as I watch Traci walk past the sofa and over to the radio. _I really wish I could pull my tank top back down right about now. Damn you, Holly! _I close my eyes in anticipation of when she inevitably turns around and sees Holly sprawled across me like some dead stripper. _Say, what?_ All I can do now is pretend to be asleep and hope Holly doesn't wake up. The alternative, _ugh _I don't want to even think about. _This all looks totally innocent, right? _

"Psst, Steve" Traci whispers, and I hear his footsteps make their way across the room. _This_ _is happening. _

"Told you" I hear him say. _Wait, huh?_

"I can't believe you called it. How did you...?"

"You'd have to blind or pretty stupid not to have noticed," Steve grunts. _Hey! Didn't I say that?_

"Ow!" he quietly shrieks, at what I can only assume is Traci assaulting him in someway, "but seriously though, they have been looking at each other like love sick teenagers for the past two days. I can't believe you didn't see it?" _Do they realise they are talking? Out loud!?_

"I suppose she has been a lot less snarky these past few days, but I chalked that up to a mix of alcohol and painkillers?" Traci pauses, "though I did see her hug Holly the other night, which I thought was a little out of character for our Gail, which now, come to think of it, was totally sweet and warm. You are right; she's got it bad." _Seriously_, _why are you guys still talking? People are sleeping here._

"She looks happy," Steve sighs in relief.

"Do you think Gail is in love her?" Traci asks. _Oh Christ!_

"I don't know, why don't you wake her and ask her yourself," Steve chuckles.

"Could you imagine the carnage? No, lets go to bed before she wakes up and rips both our respective balls off." Traci quips. _Am I really that bad? Yes, you are. "_If she wants to tell us, she will tell us. Could be completely innocent you know... Even if Holly's hand is down her pants." Traci giggles. _Yup, mortified_.

* * *

I scramble to the head of the bed, and hop under the covers as Holly stands in the middle of the room like a sitting duck waiting to be shot.

"Come sit with me for a bit?" I ask nervously.

She walks over to the bed, and lies down on top of the covers and faces me. She blankly stares at me and I do the same. "Do you remember that time when you saved me from a bullet?" she asks and I smile at her attempt to break the ice. She places her hand on my arm that is lying beside my head. "Thank you," she says as she runs her thumb up and down my forearm. "Where did you get this scar," she pauses, as she runs her fingers over my elbow and half way down my arm. "It looks relatively new, within the past 8 months?" she asks as she looks back into my eyes. _How can she see that?_

"I was having a bad day," I surprisingly admit, and Holly's expression turns to her default setting. _Well that doesn't sound good._ "A bad month, well months really." _And that sounds better, fool?_

"Gail?"

"I may have accidentally put my hand through a mirror." I say and she scrunches her face up at me. "What? I was having a bad hair day." I giggle, though from the expression on her face she doesn't find it very amusing, and it's not I guess.

"This won't be a very nice bedtime story," I say.

"I only want to hear it, if you want to tell it. You don't have to, I'll understand."

"Again, not a very nice bedtime story," I repeat as I take her hand from my arm and hold it tightly in both hands. _Maybe if I tell her my horrible story, she will tell me hers. Tit for tat? _"You know, for best friends," I smile, "we really don't know that much about each other."

"Doesn't mean it isn't true," she replies, and she leans over and kisses my hand.

"Where were you working twelve months ago?" I ask, and her look of worry turns to confusion.

"I was working at the city morgue on the other side of town, why?" She asks. _Ok, so she may not of heard about this._

I take a deep breath, and she raises her eyebrows at me. "I was kidnapped about a year ago," I blurt out sharply. _Smooth_.

She closes her eyes and shifts closer to me, and readjusts her position on her pillow. "And..." she says as she opens her eyes. _Okay..._

"I was staying with Andy at the time, and after coming home from an undercover job, a man attacked me inside her apartment. I tried to fight him off but he injected me with something and then, nothing."

"Did he hurt you?" she asks biting her lip. I can tell right now she is trying to put on a brave face for me, as she takes it all in.

"He beat me up pretty bad during the struggle, yes."

"And what, he cut you here?" She asks as she grazes her fingers over the scar again.

"Actually no, I really did put my hand through a mirror, though no one knows that," I sadly admit.

"Gail..." She sympathetically moans and holds my hand to her chest.

"Anyway, I woke up strapped to a table in a basement, but it wasn't long before he injected me again"

Even in the moonlight I can see the blood draining from her face. She looks like she is going to vomit. _Shit! I want happy Holly back_.

"Let's just say I got out and that was that. I'm safe. I'm here. All is well."

"I think I heard about this. You were found in the trunk of a car, right?" She says and I nod. "But that's not all of it, there was another officer wasn't there? And they...?"

"Died? Yes, saving me," I say as I try and hold back tears. _I am not going to cry again._

"And what's worse is..." I pause.

"It gets worse?" she asks, rolling her eyes.

"Unfortunately yes. It was actually a detective, his name was Jerry, and... he and Traci were about to get married."

"Fuck me sideways," she exclaims, and I cover her mouth with my hand. _I conveniently failed to tell you that Traci and Steve are back._

"Holly! That mouth of yours! I think you have been spending a little too much time with me." _Time well spent, for me anyway._

"I'm so sorry there are just no other words for it."

"I've never really spoken to anyone about this outside of my, then, therapist. Emphasis on 'then'. I don't go to therapy anymore, I'm fine, it's all good," I assure her, and it's true. I don't tend to think about it much anymore. I don't see Perek's face every second of the day. There are no nightmares; daydreams, cold sweats or panic attacks in the shower. I don't see his face behind me in the mirror anymore. _I smashed the shit out of that._

"Except for when you go see a therapist in the next few days like you promised me. I can't believe I made you relive this again," she says shaking her head.

"I wanted to tell you...wait, when did I promise that exactly?" I say, as I draw a blank.

"The other night, on the jetty. Right before you attacked my face with your lips."

"Oh right..." I draw out as I lean in to kiss her, but she pulls back.

"Gail..." she whines.

"Fine fine, therapy, yes, done."

"Promise me something else?" she asks.

"Only if you kiss me," I say. _Lamest request ever._

"That can be arranged," she grins. "Come for a run with me in the morning?"


	19. Chapter 17

**This chapter looked a whole lot different 12 hours ago. It was the complete opposite to this and made me too sad, so i rewrote it. Maybe i will reuse it sometime.**

**Happy times.**

* * *

"Nice get up, Gail... what, are you going for a run or something?" Traci laughs at my attire and the sound cuts right through me. _Oh crap_. My first instinct is to jump down that big black hole to avoid the impending embarrassment of looking her in the eyes, but then again, if I go down that hole, Holly won't be there with me, which seems like a much scarier thought. I close the bedroom door and step into the hallway where she is standing holding her toiletry bag.

"I am actually" I say contently as I slowly walk over to Holly's door. _If this conversation doesn't kill me, this run certainly will._

"Oh really? I was totally joking." She laughs.

"Never underestimate a Peck!" I quip as I knock on Holly's door, but there is no answer.

Traci nods her head, "something I am becoming more aware of each and everyday," she slyly smirks. _I am going to choose to ignore that insinuation._

I knock again, or rather lightly bang, this time with two open palms. "What, is she still asleep or something?" Traci asks.

"I don't know Trace, do I look like I have X-ray vision?"

"Wouldn't put it past those steely eyes of yours. I have always wondered why you are always squinting," she says as she mimics me, almost looking cross-eyed in the process. "Maybe we should go in and jump on the bed and wake her up? Do you think she would care?"

"Sure! I think any 34 year old grown woman would love that," I sarcastically joke. "After you" I say as I step away from Holly's bedroom door.

"Fine." Traci drops her toiletry bag on the floor and proceeds to turn the doorknob.

"No Trace, I wasn't serious," I nervously giggle as I pull on her sleeve. She peers in, squeezing her head through the narrow gap she has created and then gestures with her hand for me follow her. _Okay, so I guess we're doing this then?_

Traci grabs my arm and pulls me inside with her. We stand by the door and find Holly face down in the middle of the bed with her head under a pillow and the bed covers pulled up partially over her back.

"Looks like we have a naked sleeper" Traci whispers, and she giggles in my ear.

"Yeah, and if we do this we are gonna cop an eyeful," I say reluctantly. _I bet Traci is laughing at me about now._

"We all have the same junk, Gail," she's says so matter of factually, a statement I had already been painfully aware of these past four days, and have been trying to get my head around. _She is just toying with you now, though you definitely have the upper hand._

"You two could always stop talking and get it over with," I hear a voice mumble from under the pillow. "Real stealthy, guys."

Traci and I immediately look at each other and nod in agreement. I kick my runners off and we leap onto to her bed. We jump up and down either side of her, holding each others hands like children and I watch Holly brace her arms beside her body, making sure to hug herself tightly. "You guys are lucky I am wearing underwear," she says as we notice the covers slowly moving down her back. _That's enough. _Traci and I drop to our knees and sit at the end of the bed on either side of Holly's legs.

"I think we were a couple of pillows away from being in some cliché chick flick" Holly says, now bracing the pillow over her head, "or some college girl on girl porno" she laughs into the mattress. _Really, Holly?_

I ignore her last comment as Traci looks at me bashfully. "Science geeks watch chick flicks?" I ask, as Traci leans over Holly and pulls the covers up to her head.

"Thank you," Holly says to her as she turns over and sits up against the headboard pulling the covers up under her arms. "I will get you later for that comment, Officer." Holly says and Traci giggles. That statement is definitely not helping our current not-so-secret situation, though Holly doesn't know that. _Yep, you are still a coward._

"So did you guys have fun last night? Didn't get into too much trouble I hope?" Traci asks with a subtle smirk. _Besides being caught with Holly's hand down my pants? Well not really down my pants._

My thoughts suddenly go straight to last night when Holly had me on the sofa softly kissing my neck. I can see Holly obviously doesn't have her head in the gutter like I do because I can tell she is about to interrupt my current chain of thought. "We drank some lovely wine while Gail proceeded to kick my ass at chess."

Traci looks at me somewhat surprised. Yes, Gail Peck plays chess! "That sounds... interesting," she says pursing her lips to the side. "Where was this?"

"At the bookstore in town" Holly answers.

"Gail in a bookstore playing chess," that's something you don't see everyday," Traci laughs.

"It was nice" Holly simply puts and she shoots me one of her token warm smiles. _Okay, now you are staring, stop it!_

"Yes, and then we went and spied on her ex-boyfriend who was pouring beers at the local hotel bar," I say trying to break Holly's gaze from my lips. Traci slowly raises her eyebrows; whether or not it's because of what I said, or that look on Holly's face, I don't know.

"Oh really? How did that go?" Traci asks quite amused.

"She basically ran away screaming," I laugh, and Holly gives me the greasiest stare I have ever seen. From her anyway. _Very nice, not better than mine though_.

"Speaking of running, how on earth did you get this one" Traci says as she pokes me in the ribs, "to agree to go running with you this morning?"

"I have my ways" Holly grins sneakily into her blanket. I am starting to think with all this subtle innuendo, I really should have told Holly that they know. _Ugh this is torture. Just stop it Gail, they really don't care. Do you?_

"She will be fine, she ran almost 10 blocks the other day after a perp." Traci says as she leans away from me because she knows what's coming. "Jesus, Gail!" She yells and she rubs her shoulder. _And Holly will never know that Chris practically drags me onto the treadmill every few days at the precinct gym._

"Is that right?" Holly says, who now seems all too happy with this new information. "I basically ended up blackmailing her in the end." _Yeah, with kisses. Actually that was my idea. _

I unknowingly scrunch the hair at the sides of my temples.

"I'll go get dressed, and then we can go," Holly says as she leans over to grab her glasses from the nightstand and picks up the sweater off the floor and carefully puts it on. She looks up and notices my current state of anxiety and laughs. "Don't worry Gail, I'll catch you if you fall down." _Not so worried about that._

I casually avert my eyes from her underwear as she hops out of bed and heads towards the bathroom, and I here the door close. I turn to Traci, who is looking at the bathroom door as she stands up. "Don't you just love her? She is an impressive woman. You are a lucky girl."

My hearts stops for a split second, but I can't help but laugh nervously in my head at Traci's lack of subtlety, and for some reason I don't think I can stop the words that are fighting to come out of my mouth. _She is so bad at this, what happened to 'she will tell us when she is ready'_. "What ever do you mean?" I ask as she walks over the bedroom door.

"That you have found another ally that can put up with all your crap, of course."

"An ally?" I repeat and she taps her hand on the door as she leaves.

"I'm ready," I hear, and I turn to look at Holly with my mouth slightly agape. _What just happened?_

"What's with the face grouchy bum?" she asks as I watch her fumble with something in her hands. I can't seem to form words right now.

"Stand up for me" she asks.

"Why?" I pout.

"Why? Because I said so, Officer" she says as she clips some sort of transmitter onto a strap. "Lift your shirt up for me?"

"Why?" I whine and I see a repeat of that greasy cold expression. "Okay, okay, because you said so," I give in.

I lift up my shirt and she wraps the she strap across my sternum, directly below my bra. She leans into me as her hands go around my back, and her face comes closer to mine as she clips the straps ends together and she smiles at me with her eyes. _She can do that_.

"So what exactly is this for?" I ask as she tugs my shirt back down.

"I am going to monitor your heart rate with my watch. I can't have you dying on me before our second date," she grins.

"I am so not asking you this time. Still regretting the first time I did," I quip. "Totally joking by the way," I smile. She adjusts her watch and I follow her to the door. She stops as she reaches for the handle, and turns around and I almost walk into her. _Maybe this will become a habit._

"Did you forget something?" I ask.

"I did'," she says and she leans in and lightly kisses me on the lips. "Good morning, Gail." _This run better be worth it. Shit! I'll probably need shoes._


	20. Chapter 18

**Sorry for the delay. Will be back with more soon.**

**Take a look at my Gail/Holly xmas one-shot if you haven't already, you can find in my profile.**

**If you wish to see an illustration that goes with this chapter, search the Rookie Blue Fan Fic tag on Tumblr.**

* * *

I chuckle as I listen to Holly call my name over and over. I didn't think running off in the opposite direction would cause such a reaction from her, though I suppose her not knowing I did could have played a part in her current vocal efforts to hunt me down, but it serves her right for running fifty meters in front of me.

I study the tree log from afar. "Was it really this big last time?" I say as I recall the moment when Holly had to pull me up just to get on top of it. _Sure was!_ But today these not so trusty arms of mine are going to do the job themselves. I kick the dirt like a horse in anticipation of my run up. _Holly didn't need a run up._ "You are champion of the world, you can do this!" I chant to psych myself up. I take a running leap and manage to hang my arms and chest over it, before I very uncoordinatedly fumble my legs up and around it until I am basically length ways hugging the log. _Very graceful, Gail_. I prop myself up as I listen for Holly who is still every so often calling out my name.

I swing my legs around and face inland and I feel the engraving of her parents initials under my fingertips on the logs surface. I look towards the brush and I can see Holly jogging in and out of sight through the trees. As she approaches she sees me and I wave, however she doesn't look happy at all, and comes to an abrupt stop at the start of the clearing.

"What the hell Gail?" She says in a rather stern tone, holding out her arms in frustration. "I almost had a heart attack, I thought you had fallen down a ditch or something," she says looking at me, waiting curiously for an answer. I can't tell if she is completely serious or not, but she doesn't seem to be breaking from her current facial expression of what-the-fuck? So I guess...

"Oh, you're serious?" I ask, as I watch the lines on her forehead gradually increase at my apparent cluelessness.

"Well do I look like I am laughing? You disappeared and I noticed the heart rate on my watch had stopped," she says as she slowly approaches with her hands now on her hips.

"Holly, don't those things have a range of like, uh, two meters? You were like fifty meters in front of me! Did you think I was dead or something?" I laugh.

"Maybe..." she draws out, "for a moment there my amygdala did go into overdrive, but then I came to my senses" she says as her face turns slightly more red than it already was and she slaps my hanging foot and then walks over to the water.

"I'm sorry," I say as I swing my legs around once again over the log so I can watch her at the waters edge.

"I always forget how much I love it here, I wish I could get back here more often" she says, as she stretches her long arms over her shoulders. _Your arms go on forever_.

She turns and walks over me and stands in front of me as she lifts her leg to stretch her quad, using a hand on my knee to steady herself. "Thank you for coming on this little trip with me, well us, for a few days, it was..." she pauses and looks at the ground. I can see her brain turning over trying to find the right word. "Surprising" she smiles as she loses balance and I grab her forearm. _That's for sure._ "It was well needed. I haven't gotten away in forever." _Forever is a long time._

"Did I even have a choice?" I scoff and she lifts her head.

"You always have a choice, Gail" she smiles. She turns around and leans against the log between my legs and takes in the fresh air and the sun that has decided to pop out for a moment.

I put my hands on her shoulders and she slightly flinches at my touch. As I gently knead, her hot skin radiates through my cold hands. I don't know what it is, but anytime I am in close proximity to her I just have to touch her, even if half the time I chicken out. "H-Holly?" I say with trepidation.

"Mmm," she hums.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything if you keep doing that to my shoulders" she says. I can't see her face but I know she is smiling.

"Well you might not want to answer this, which I'll understand, but..." I stop. I suddenly realise that we are at one of her favourite spots on earth.

"You were saying?" she asks as she squeezes my shoe.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter, this isn't really isn't the place to time for me to ask you this."

My hands fall from her shoulders as she turns around and leans into the log. She hangs her arms over my knees; with her head now level with my navel.

"I don't think there is anything I wouldn't tell you," she says but my mind wanders immediately back to last night with that text message and her obvious lie. "Besides it's obviously important as I have watched your heart rate rise exponentially over the last 30 seconds."

"Great!" I roll my eyes. "You can already read me like a book, but now you have the heart rate thingy too? Totally not fair, Nerd."

"Interesting, I didn't know I could do that," she smiles. "Just ask me Gail. Anything," she insists while she playfully head butts my stomach.

I take in a very deep breath, and I watch her eyes widen in reaction to my nervousness. "When I was at the bookstore yesterday, buying your present, Margaret said something to me that has really bothered me since. She basically suggested that the ugly duckling book in someway reflected your life. 'Personal journey' are the words she used." I say and I watch her raise her eyebrows. _Is that shock or confusion? _"Holly, I read it last night, and although it was very uplifting in the end it scared the fucking shit out of me!"

She takes a step back and rests her hands on my thighs. "Are you scared you will be outcast if people thought you were dating a woman?" She asks. _Wait, what where did that come from? Did I say that right? Was she not listening? _I'm starting to think I am not the only one with insecurities here.

"No, no, no, definitely not_, _I was scared for you, and what it all meant." _I've had too much to process really without adding everyone else to the mix._

"Look, I think she may have wound you up unnecessarily. Personal journey is a bit of a stretch; I don't think the themes necessarily reflect my life the way you think. Hardships, yes. But doesn't everybody go through those? You know there are different versions of this story right?" She infers.

"But Holly, in this one they suggest the duckling contemplated killing himself. Is that true for you?" I say very weakly, as I really don't want to know the answer.

"Okay, so I was 16 when I left school." _Oh god, she didn't say no_. "The summer, when I dated that guy Pete? My grandmother allowed me to attend the last six months of high school back here, so I stayed with Margaret. I was accepted very early to university, so it didn't really matter where I went. However, when we got back to school after the holidays, there were some rumours going around about me. Kids are cruel they tend to pick up on things and use them to their advantage, you know?"

"How did the rumors get started?" I ask. _I assume I know what they are about._

"By Pete's sisters best friend. So my crushes, best friend," she smiles. _Thanks for clarifying, Hol. Lol._

"She must have noticed something when I was around his sister. I mean I flat out denied it, in fact I denied it in my mind until I was about nineteen, but then I saw Pete's sister again one day and it all came flooding back. Anyway, I was bullied, heavily. To the point where..." She pauses takes a deep breath.

"They beat you up?" I ask wearily, as I can almost feel a tear forming in my eye.

She shakes her head. "No, I snapped. I punched her, twice. Broke her jaw and I was suspended. I should have been expelled, but the teachers knew what was going on, and had never really done anything about it. But I hated myself even more after that, and I punished myself for it for quite sometime."

"She probably deserved it, you were defending yourself in a way" I say.

"She didn't, no one deserves that. I hate violence, with a passion," she states rubbing my thigh rather tensely. "It's kind of why I do what I do. A way of helping the departed and their families, to bring some kind of peace back to those who are suffering and those who suffered already" she adds.

"So my grandmother decided to pull me out of school early. Luckily it didn't affect my acceptance into university. But months leading up to going to Uni, I did something very stupid. So very stupid. To this day I still can't get my head around it." She sighs. She removes her hands from my thighs and takes my hands. "Let me tell you now, I never wanted to kill myself, I never thought about killing myself, I just wanted to feel something else and I... " she pauses as she closes her eyes and drops her eyes while shaking her head, and my heart suddenly stops "...I swallowed a bottle of pain killers" she say as she looks up at me with sad defenceless eyes and it Immediately breaks my heart. "I woke up in the hospital. I was lucky to get away very little organ damage."

"Very little?" I ask.

"My liver was damaged. That's why now I make a point to look after myself, and those around me if I can. It's something I have to keep an eye on," she says.

"Ah... So that's why you are always exercising," I acknowledge and she smiles.

"No, not just that, apart from really enjoying it." She says as her hands move back to my thighs.

"Yeah you'd bloody have to" I remark and she squeezes them gently.

"Healthy body, healthy mind" she says as she pushes away from my legs and in one swift jump lands perfectly next to me on top of the log and I throw my head back and laugh at the fact of how hard it was for me to get up here.

"No wonder you are so fucking smart and perfect" I quip and Holly giggles. _Did I really just say perfect?_

"Plus, I knew one day id meet a stunning blonde woman who I could really annoy the shit out of with my superior athletic ability."

"You are not wrong there, Lunchbox. So not wrong," I laugh as I look out at the water.

I turn my smiling face towards her when I feel her hand graze the side of my cheek. _And she is touching me again; at least she is brave enough._ She carefully brushes the hair behind my ear. "I am always right," she says, her face now stoic and concentrated. She adjusts my ponytail running her hands through it, then down the side of my neck. She watches her own hand repeatedly stroke my shoulder before her eyes come back up in contact with mine. Her eyes flicker as she abruptly removes her hand from my collarbone. "Sorry," she says as she retreats back into her own space, "you should know I tend to do that a lot." I watch her eyes dart all over the place in wait of a response, and I slowly raise my eyebrows at her. "The touching?" she confirms. "My brain switches off and all of a sudden I don't know what I am doing." _Sure, sure._

"I didn't think it was physically possible to switch your brain off. And I thought you were a doctor?" I joke.

"You're teasing me?" _How can I not?_

I look back out to the water for what seems like forever.

"Why are you smiling so much, with what I just told you I thought you'd be a little more... I dunno, weirded out by it," she says and I slide off the log and actually land on my feet. _Yay!_

"I am just happy." I say as I offer her a hand off the log, and she slides down. "I am happy you are still here with us" I say softly as I look down at her fingers now intertwined in mine, "with me," I add, however I notice another carving on the log lower to the ground. I drop her hand and I kneel down. "What's this?" I ask as I clear away the dirt on the newly found engraving, which reads H.S. "You didn't mention it the other day." I look up at Holly who shrugs her shoulders then kneels down beside me.

She places her hand on the log over her intitals. "There is only one set of initials, did you do this?" I ask.

"My mother did it when I was about five. She had told me one day there would be a special someone that would write their name next to mine." She exhales loudly. "But no one yet obviously," she says under her breath as she plays with the dirt at her feet, picking it up and releasing it over and over.

"Have you ever come close before?" I ask, and I feel nervousness unlike any other wash over me as Holly's watch beeps. _Don't you dare look at that!_

She looks up at me and smirks. "You are such a curious creature aren't you?" she says, and I can't help but wince. "No Gail, not even close," she answers, her hand still firmly placed on the log. I can feel the awkwardness building as I stare into her eyes, so I stand up and straighten my clothes.

"So should we get back to running? I wouldn't want all those muscles of yours to cool down too much." I say as I look down at her and start mentally kicking myself at my suggestion of running again.

"Why don't you go on ahead, I will give you a head start. If you beat me back I will shout you breakfast on Tuesday morning, how does that sound?"

"It sounds like you should give me a very long head start."

_"_Ok, but no longer than five minutes," she says as she stands up and leans back against the log and sighs.

"Ok, I'll see you at the finish line" I say as I walk towards the trees. I stop at the edge of the clearing and turn around, "Hol?" I say as I try and grab her attention. For a moment I swear I could have seen her wipe away a tear as she turned around. She leans into the log as as she folds her arms up on top of it and rests her chin on her forearms. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah everything is fine" she responds unconvincingly, however I start to walk off anyway forgetting what I was actually going to say to her.

After twenty-five meters or so I stop and contemplate whether I should turn around and go back. Something was definitely not right, maybe I should just check? I walk back quietly and I see her still leaning against the log but this time she is sobbing into her arms. _Maybe you should leave her alone._

I would probably walk away if it was anyone else, but I find myself being drawn in her direction. I walk around the log and put my hand on her shoulder and she immediately responds by turning into me, flinging her arms around my back as she holds on for dear life. I feel her shake against me with each sob. I feel the heat of our skin melt together and as her tears fall on my shoulder. After I while I sense her calm down and I compel myself to say something.

"Look, Lunchbox, I know you wanted to see me naked, but there is no reason to cry about it," I quietly joke and I hear her take in a few staggered breathes and she squeezes me even tighter, so I do the same back.

"I didn't think you did hugs," she sniffles at me.

"I lied."

* * *

There isn't long before we get back home. I look at Steve bopping his head up and down to the car radio through the space in the drivers seat headrest. Traci is fast asleep in the passenger seat holding his hand over the center console. If I wasn't holding Holly's hand right now too, i'd probably make some inappropriate remark about how they make me nauseous, but alas I will leave them in peace. _Just this once._

I lean my head sideways on the back seat and face Holly. I look past her at the pile of stuff she conveniently placed there so she could sit next to me on the way back to the city. I smile to myself at how she had said there was no room for it in the back of the station wagon, when in actual fact all there was was space. I giggle as I remember her expression when I said, "Oh, you are one of those sly sneaky pathologists. They are the worst." She had blushed, before taking my hand and kissing my fingers just as Steve and Traci were about to get in the car.

Her head rests backwards over the top of the backseat. Her hair is swept to one side, leaving her neck exposed, where I see the two small moles that point toward her collar bone, the same ones I had trailed my fingers over ever so lightly last night. I can smell the moisturiser on her neck that I watched her apply after she had showered from our run early this morning. The sight and smell is intoxicating and is doing unexpected things to my body. I run my thumb over the top of her hand that rests on her thigh under the carefully positioned blanket. I need to see her eyes, it's been too long, so I type out a message on my phone.

Gail:_ "Wake up! Wake up! I am so bored sitting here alone with my thoughts, entertain me._"

I press send and I wait for her to open her eyes. She shifts in her seat beside me and with her eyes still closed she moves her free hand under the blanket to reach for her buzzing phone inside her pocket. She lifts her phone up in front of her face and pushes her glasses up to the top of her head then gradually opens her eyes. I watch the corner of her mouth slowly curl up as she reads my message and then she begins typing.

Holly_: Well we wouldn't want that. I feel like I need a holiday from my holiday, I don't think I have ever had so many late nights. My brain needs it's beauty rest too. What were u thinking about?_

Gail_: was trying not to vomit at the sight of Traci and my brother holding hands_.

Holly looks towards them in the front seat and smiles.

Holly_: Well I think it's sweet._

Gail_: Well you would wouldn't you, but mainly I was thinking about those two moles at the bottom of your neck._

Holly reaches for her neck with her phone, and I giggle.

Gail_: Yes those ones. I was creepily watching you sleep._

I notice her glance at Steve in the front seat before she turns towards me smiling, mirroring my heads position on the back of the seat. Her smile gradually disappears as her eyes once again start scanning my face. I'm starting to think she is a little obsessed. I look back down to my phone and type "we are going to have to get you a seeing eye dog soon, if you keep looking at me like that" and I look back at her and catch her looking at my chest, but she doesn't seem to care, and I press send.

I watch her closely as she types out her response, which doesn't take long.

Holly_: ..._

Gail_: Have I mentioned lately that you are weird?_

"Hey guys, we are here. Holly, did you need a hand with your stuff?" Steve asks and Holly quickly whips her head up towards him. Before she has a chance to answer, I open the back door and release Holly's hand from under the blanket. "I've got it Steve," I say as Holly follows me out the back door. I walk around to the other side of the car and get her stuff out and hand half of it to her. We walk in silence to the front of her apartment and we stop at the security door. Her place looks much different in the light of day compared to a few nights ago when I was out here pleading for her friendship. I place her belongings on the ground and she does the same.

"Gail, I -I" she stutters as she peers around me and looks at Steve and Traci waiting for me in the car. "I really wish I could kiss you right now," she adds as she stares at the ground.

"Give me a week?" I ask and her head snaps up,

"A week? I am seeing you Tuesday, I am not waiting a bloody week" she whines and I laugh. "Stop laughing at me, Gail," she says abruptly.

"Tuesday yes, but not quite what I meant," I say.

She squints at me in confusion. "What did you mean then?"

"I -I mean... I don't want to hide this from people. That we are dating? So the kissing, in front of people? I don't think I would mind so much, I mean if you are into that kind of thing," I say as I kick at the concrete path.

"Wait what?" She says. _Was she even listening?_

"My god, you drive me insane," I say as I pull at my hair. "Listen carefully okay? I would like to date you, out in the open. None of this sneaking around shit." I confirm.

"Oh, I, um, no, okay, so," she responds incoherently.

She finally finds her bearings and steps closer to me. "I'll see you Tuesday then?"

"See you Tuesday," I confirm as she adjusts my coat collar and rubs my arm to make sure I'm warm. "That's three days away," she adds, and I give her a kiss on the cheek. _Man we are so obvious it's not funny_. "You are very good at math aren't you, Lunchbox," I say as I walk away.

"Oh and Gail? I won't leave you" she calls and I stop and turn back around, and I watch the security door close behind her. I suddenly feel like a deer caught in headlights, only there are cars coming at me from all different directions and I don't know which way to go. I walk back towards the car and take a deep breath as the urge of running back to her eases.

I hop in the car and Traci looks at me from the front seat. "All set?" she says and I nod.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I pull it out and see it's a message from Holly. It's that photo she took of us in the park. A warmth comes over me as I remember the moment and I smile at the fact her finger is still partially over the lens, even after direction. "Damn it!" I say and Traci quickly turns to me. "What? Who's that?" she asks.

"Holly," I say. "But she was just" she peters out, and I smile at her knowingly. I should have just kissed her.


	21. Chapter 19

**Loving the comments. Thanks, it's what feeds me.**

* * *

"So, Officer Peck..." the Doc says as she reads through her notes, tracing each line with her pen. "As I understand it, this session today is not a mandatory one, that you asked for this time yourself?" _Yup, is that a first?_

"Mmm." I breathe out, even though I don't want or need to be here. _I can't believe I am here on a Sunday!_

"I do have a file here that's says you were caught up in lasts weeks precinct shooting. You got hit in the back of the vest, before an..." she pauses and scans down the page "before an Officer Nick Collins shot and killed the gunman. Is that something you wanted talk about?" she asks and I shrug my shoulders and slump back into my chair and she waits for me to say something else. A seemingly common occurrence in our sessions. "Officer Peck you did ask for this session..." _Ugh_.

"Gail, my name is Gail," I say as I fight the urge to roll my eyes. _She's just doing her job remember?_

"Okay then, Gail, can you tell me what has brought you here today?" she asks so straight faced, it annoys the shit out of me.

I really hate the way shrinks look at you. They study your every move, hang on your every word, ready to pounce and use it against you. "I promised someone I would come here," hence my reluctance to speak. _Read my mind already would you? No don't._

"Okay, and what made this person ask you to make this appointment?"

"I wasn't sleeping there for a few nights, and I had jokingly floated the idea out there that maybe I should talk to someone about it, but I really don't need to." _Like really._

"You don't?" she says raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, because I know why I wasn't sleeping."

"Care to elaborate?" she asks.

"Nope." I say dismissively.

"But you are here anyway," she states and I audibly sigh.

"After I promised, I really didn't want to lie to her and say I went when I didn't, so that's why I am here."

"And who is 'her'?" _Oh, you caught that?_

"My..." I pause for a moment as I think my answer through "A friend. My friend Holly," I continue. _And there it is. Didn't take me long to mention her name._

"Holly Stewart?" she asks as she runs back over her notes, seemly familiar with the name. _This is going to take forever_

"Let me save you the energy Doc," I say and she places her hands down in her lap and gives me her undivided attention. "She is the one that I jumped in front of a bullet for, the one..." I stop before any word vomit has a chance to start coming out of my mouth. _Doc is going to love this_.

"The one you told me previously had kissed you a few weeks ago?" she asks. _Doi_.

"Yup," I say breathlessly and nod. _She's good._

"She was the reason for me not sleeping." I surprisingly find myself say after all, and she does that nod where she thinks she understands everything your saying. _You suck!_

"In what way was she the reason?" she asks and I see my phone buzz and light up on the coffee table between us. "Sorry, excuse me" I say as I pick it up to turn it off but I see a message notification from Holly and have to open it.

Holly: _Guess what? Fine, I'll tell you. I finally figured out what that plant was that assaulted me. Now you'll never have to die wondering. Yes, I am a big nerd and you love it. Xx H_

"What? She still didn't tell me..." I pause and laugh before I remember I am not alone, and I look up at the Doc who is quizzically staring at me.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I chuckle as I put the phone back down. I can feel my face burning and I bite my bottom lip as I try to fight off the laughter building in my stomach. I lean against my elbow on the armrest and cover my lips with my fingers and try to squeeze them shut.

"That's okay," she smiles "I asked in what way was she the reason for you not sleeping?" She asks, but I can't hold it in.

"I'm sorry," I laugh, as I put my hands over my mouth. "I heard what you said but it's gone in one ear and out the other. It's just... she is so funny," I divulge.

"Your friend Holly?" she asks.

"Yes, though she isn't just my friend anymore, Doc."

* * *

"Hey loser, wake up!" I hear Steve communicate rather loudly, which at this moment I don't really appreciate.

"I am not asleep, ass hat," I say as I lift my head off the desk and see him smiling down at me.

I look at my phone as I have done the millionth time this morning. _She still hasn't messaged me back._

"You are going to get dragged to Bests office soon if you don't start paying attention. Traci and I have watched you over here for the last 20 minutes staring at your phone then slamming your head into the desk. Not a great impression to make on your first day back, sis."

"Well I only have 30 minutes left on shift, so..." I say as I scroll through the mass amounts of messages Holly and I have exchanged over the past two days. _My phone bill is going to be huge!_

"What's so fascinating about your phone anyway?" he asks as he leans over the front desk and grabs it off me.

"Give it back Steve, or I'll..." I threaten.

"Oh it's ringing!" Steve laughs. "Hello?" he answers and I jump around the front desk and try to kick him in the shins as I try and grab the phone from his ear while he tries to listen. He defends himself with his forearms and tries to block me as I notice his laughter quickly vanish. "Shoosh, Gail stop!" he says as he holds a finger out in front of my face and I let go of his arm at the seriousness of his tone.

"Steve?"

"No that's fine. I tell her. Thank you," he says then he hangs up.

"Steve?" I whine as he immediately starts to walk over to Tracey in the bullpen. _What the hell?_

I watch him whisper into Tracey's ear as she sits eating her lunch at one of the vacant desks. I see her look up at me from across the room as she drops her sandwich back in its brown paper bag then gets up out of her chair and says something to Chris a few desks over. I see Chris throw Steve some car keys and Steve turns and walks back over to me.

"Grab your stuff, kid," he says. _Oh crap, last time he called me that was... I can't even fucking remember it was so long go._

"Steve what's going on?" I ask as he pulls me through the station and out the back to the squad parking lot.

"Everything's fine, but don't freak out, okay?"

"I am only gonna freak out if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on in the next 3 seconds." I say as I pull on his arm and we stop in front of Chris's squad car.

"The phone call you just got was from a nurse at a private health clinic on King Street. Holly passed out at an appointment and now needs a lift home. She is totally fine though," he smiles. _Why are you acting so weird then_?

"Okay... but my shift?" I say as I look back towards the precinct door.

"Traci's got it covered. You're good to go," he assures me.

"Okay, thanks, give me the keys then," I say holding out my hand but he turns away from me.

"Hop in, I'll drive," he says.

* * *

_Ugh, this is taking forever._ "Turn the siren on," I say to Steve who is driving like an old man.

"Gail, its not exactly an emergency," he says as he looks at his watch.

"I knew I should have driven," I mumble. "If I'm just picking her up, why exactly are you here?" I ask and he ignores me.

"We are here," he says as he pulls into a parking spot and he suddenly puts his hand on top of mine in my lap. _What the?_ I look at him and he nods his head to something out in the street, urging me to look.

"Breast Screening Radiology Clinic" I read on the side of the building, and I feel my heart start to rapidly increase as I hop out of the squad car and lean against the bonnet and Steve gets out and stands beside me.

"You okay?" he asks.

"I feel sick," I say as I quickly walk over to the closest trashcan and i place both hands either side, as I lean over it and try to breathe through my sudden bout of nausea.

"It's going to be fine Gail, they said she was fine," he tries to comfort with a hand squarely on my back. I close my eyes and breath in and step away from the trashcan.

"You don't know that! As if they'd tell a perfect stranger anything over the phone!" I snap.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" he asks, ignoring my previous outburst.

"It's fine," I say as I approach the front door of the clinic.

"I'll be out here, if you need..." I hear him trail off, and I look back at him as I walk through the door, and I mouth sorry through the window.

I walk up to the front desk and see the receptionist sitting in her chair, with her back to me, chatting and laughing on the phone. "Excuse me," I say and she infuriatingly holds a finger up blindly at me from behind her.

I lean over the desk and hang up the receiver. "Hey!" I say with my voice raised and she swings around on her chair and when she sees me instantly stands up.

"Officer! Um, how can I help?" she says as she fumbles the handset.

"I'm looking for Holly Stewart. I am here to pick her up." I tell her and she points over my shoulder and I turn my head around and follow her gaze. I see Holly sitting in the waiting area leaning over with her head in her hands. "Holly!" I exclaim, and she jumps out of her chair and walks over and hugs me.

"I am glad you are here," she mumbles into my shoulder. I stroke her hair as she steps away slightly from our embrace and she looks at me. "Let's get out of here, this place gives me the willies," she smiles. _No shit!_ I take her hand and lead her out the front door. When we get out into the street I walk beside her with my arm wrapped around the back of her waist as we make our way over to the squad car.

"Your brother is here," she says and I open the back door of the car and she hops in. "Move over" I tell her.

"You're not going to sit in the front?" she asks.

"No, move over," I repeat and she shifts all the way over to the other side of the car, so I hop in and move over to the middle seat next to her.

"Hi Steve, thanks for this," she says as she does up her seat belt.

"That's cool, where can I take you?" he asks.

She looks at me and smiles. "I'm expected at my grandmothers shortly, so if you can drop me off there that'd be great," she says as she glances back to Steve as he turns the engine on. "She lives over near the Aquatic center, so anywhere near there is fine."

"Don't you want to go home, and rest? They said on the phone you passed out," I ask her as Steve pulls out of the parking spot.

"I'm fine Gail, it was so stupid. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I promise." She insists. And I stare at her blankly as I wait for her to say more. _Well don't leave me hanging._

Holly continues to look out the window and I start to get impatient. _Why isn't she telling me anything, it's been 15 minutes for fuck sake!_ I take her hand from her lap. "Holly..." I say sternly.

"Gail..." she smugly mimics back and looks at our hands then at Steve in the front seat, probably concerned that he might see.

"What they hell are you trying to do to me?" I ask and she exhales quickly and loudly.

"I suppose you are wondering why I was where I was," she smiles and I cock my head sideways. _Is she serious?_

"Are you serious?" I say quite loudly and Steve turns his head to us briefly. "Is she serious, Steve?" I repeat as I find myself quite irritated. "It's not everyday I have to pick up my girlfriend from a friggin' breast cancer clinic!" I say and I watch her mouth drop open.

She slowly leans into me, with her mouth still slightly agape. "Um Gail, your brother is right there!" she points out quietly.

"Him? He totally knows," I state. And he waves at us through the rear view vision mirror and smiles.

"You told him?" she asks, somewhat surprised.

"No. Apparently we are the most obvious people on the planet." I say and Holly looks at him and laughs.

"Ha. I did think you'd have to be pretty stupid not to have noticed," she points out.

"Well yes, apparently that is the general consensus," I quip.

"Tell that to Traci," Steve calls from the front.

I move Holly's face back toward mine with a finger under her chin and I plead with my eyes for her to tell me what happened as I notice the car stop. "I'm going to go get a coffee, and will leave you two guys to... Yeah, be back soon Gail." Steve says but Holly and I don't take our eyes off of each other.

"So..." she says

"I'm waiting," I pout.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to tell you." _Um, ouche!_ "I had a routine mammogram three weeks ago and they said they possibly found something, but that it was more than likely nothing. So it was something I kind of threw into the back of my mind and then locked away the key," she says, a little embarrassed. "After some encouragement and harassment from my boss, and the fact she made this appointment without me knowing... well here I am. I wasn't even going to show up today, but then you said that stuff to me when you dropped me off on Saturday, and you changed my mind for me. You were brave enough to say..." she trails off. "Anyway..."

"And what was with the fainting?" I ask.

"I kind of worked myself up into a state before I got here, and as soon as the doctor walked in the room, I remember waking up on the floor," she says as she rubs the back of her head, like she was feeling for a bump.

"Holly why didn't you take someone with you? I would have come, I thought we told each other stuff?"

"I -I," she stutters, "my boss was supposed to drive me but she got called out to something important."

I lean back towards the car window "more important than this?" I shriek.

"Dead bodies tend to trump scared avoiding pathologists, Gail, and I didn't want to worry my grandmother into an early grave, and then there was you. I didn't know how you'd react, I thought you might run in the opposite direction and I didn't want you to leave me, even three weeks ago, I didn't want you to leave me. Sorry, I was being completely irrational." _I'll say_.

I watch a tear start to form behind her glasses and she turns away and hops out of the car, so I move back to the other side and do the same. She walks around the car to the footpath and stands there with her hands on her hips while I lean against the car door. "And I thought I was going to be the irrational one in this relation..." I pause as I kick the ground before I realise what I am about to say. _Okay not completely comfortable yet._

I feel her hands on my shoulders, as she rests her head against my forehead. "There is plenty of time for that to change," she says and I watch her smile just inches away from my face. _Ugh, don't I know it._

She moves back slightly and lifts up my chin before returning her hand to my shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she says and my heart sinks a little. She looks into my eyes, then at my lips before she leans in and kisses me. I can taste the salt from her tears that had traveled down and landed on her lips. She moves one of her hands from my shoulders and slides it up my neck and into my hair, which makes me smile into her lips.

"Oh wow! This is going to take some getting used to," I hear Steve say and I look sideways as Holly breaks our kiss.

"What? You haven't seen two girls kiss before?" Holly laughs.

"It's not that. It's just Gail looks happy and it's freaking me out." _Me too brother, me too._


	22. Chapter 20

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, it felt like it took forever to write. Quite a bit of dialog. I'm finding it hard to keep my chapters short these days. They seem to be getting longer.**

**I post fic updates on Tumblr, so you can find a link to my account in my profile.**

**Thanks for the continuous support for this fic. ;)**

* * *

I turn the ignition off and place both my hands on the steering wheel as I look at my phone next to me on the passenger seat. I could just send her a message I suppose, even if it's unlikely to even reach her with her no-phones-at-grandmothers-house rule she has currently, and I might I say, willingly enforced on herself. _She is crazy._

I look over at Holly's grandmothers house and pull the hood from my jacket over my head, and I open my door and put one foot out onto the road. When I go to open the door further I see two old ladies nearby in matching walking attire. They glare at me and whisper to each other as their little yappy dogs bark at me through the half open door. "Morning," I nod; however they don't look very impressed. _What the hell did I do?_ "Don't worry ladies, I am not some thug, no need to call cops on me," I challenge as I pop my head out the door and they turn back to me and continue whispering. _Neighborhood watch members I bet. _

I sigh and look at my foot on the ground. "Yep, surely that's enough bravery for one day," I conclude and I lift my leg back into the car and close the door. _Baby steps._ I grab my phone and type out a message to Holly. "No harm in trying this first right?" I say to myself as I shake my head at my indecisiveness.

**_Gail:_**_ I'm outside waiting, Nerd. I'm the gangsta wearing the hoody and dark glasses in the black SUV with unmarked plates._

I turn on the stereo loud and I drop my sunglasses over my eyes and lean my head back against the headrest. "This is much better," I say as I hang my arm out the window and wait. I close my eyes as my phone buzzes, and I blindly reach for it on the passenger seat.

**_Holly:_**_ 'Sup? Hangin' out tha laundry fo' mah grandmutha, this biatch ghon be out in 5 minz yo._

"She is just full of surprises," I laugh out loud.

**_Gail:_**_ then stop dat text'n ho and get yo ass out 'ere. _

**_Holly_**_: I can't talk like this; once was enough._

Okay, princess.

**_Gail:_**_ Well you could have fooled me your ladyship. _

**_Holly:_**_ You're distracting me from my current task at hand._

**_Gail:_**_ Then stop replying. Better hurry though, cos I'm pretty sure the neighbours have called the cops on my loitering ass. Her ladyship's carriage awaits._

**_Holly:_**_ See you shortly, Ho._

**_Gail:_**_ That's Officer Ho to you._

I throw my phone to the passenger seat and close my eyes again and tap my thumbs to the beats of the music. As time passes I find myself more relaxed and I start humming to the monotonous tunes coming from the radio. _Mmm, I know that smell._

"I know you are there, Nerd," I reveal with my eyes still closed. "I can always smell your moisturiser from a mile away." I smile and inhale again.

"Thank my grandmother, she buys the same brand," I hear. _Thanks Holly's grandma._

I open my eyes, and through my dark glasses watch her bend down and rest her arms over my open window.

"You also smell like cookies. Why do you smell like cookies?" I question.

"My grandmother baked some early this morning," she grins.

"Well where the hell is ma cookie, ho?" I exclaim.

"You mean this cookie?" she teases, as she holds it out in front of my face. I go to grab it and she moves it further away from me. _Never tease me with food._

"Your grandmother baked me a cookie?" I ask as I look at it iced with the letter "G." She smirks as she retracts her arm from the inside of he car, taking my cookie with her. "Wait! That's mine..." I shout and I push my sunglasses to the top of my head and I follow her intently with my eyes as she walks around the front of the car to the passenger side and hops in.

"Where's all your stuff?" I ask as she pulls my phone out from underneath her and hands it to me.

"You dropped me straight here yesterday remember? After..." she peters out.

"Oh right, how could I forget that." I utter quietly and let my head fall back against the headrest._ I nearly threw up in the street._

"Sorry," she concedes and I feel her hand on my thigh. "I wish it could have stayed and talked to you about it," she admits and she lightly squeezes.

I turn my head towards her with it still firmly planted on the headrest. "Cookie," I growl and she stares at me blankly. "Cookie" I repeat.

"Is that my new nickname? I must say, I have gotten quite fond of both Lunchbox and Nerd, but if you insist," she giggles and she slowly leans over to me and pauses in front of my face, I assume waiting for me to close the distance and kiss her.

"Cookie first," I smirk.

"Wow! You drive a hell of a hard bargain," she chuckles and she returns back to her seat. "By the way my grandmother didn't make this cookie special you know," she says turning up her nose. "I didn't spend all day and night yesterday gushing about you that she felt the need to bake you cookies," she defiantly protests.

"Only some of the day then?" I hint and she ignores me.

"See..." she grunts holding out the box to me and I see a cookie with each letter of the alphabet. _What the fuck?_

"I am supposed to hand these out to my friends," she says as she places the box on her lap. _How cute._

"What friends?" I joke.

"Shut up and eat your cookie," she cautions, as she shoves the G into my mouth.

"Mmm, nice" I mumble with my mouth full. "That means I get eight cookies right? Gail Peck, makes eight," I say spurting crumbs and I try to brush them away from my chest.

"Just drive, you fool."

* * *

If there is anything that I love more than red lipstick and alcohol, it is going out for breakfast. For me, it's the best time of the day. It's probably the best time of day to be around me too, with everyone onto his or hers second coffee (including myself) and the likely hood of someone having pissed me off already is pretty slim. Plus there is food. And god, I love my food. Particularly when I don't have to cook it myself. But all this can all change in a heartbeat.

I bang my fork down hard on the table. "Holly, they forgot my butter. I hate it when they forget the butter."

She peers over the top of her newspaper at me and then at the people on the next table looking our way. _Sorry, Hol you will have to get used to that._ She lifts up her newspaper and she slides her butter that was hidden behind her paper over to me. "Have mine."

"You sure?" I ask.

And she glances over to the cafe counter. "I don't think I want to see what happens to that waiter when he comes over here, so yes, I am pretty sure," she insists and she smiles as she drops her newspaper back down, her face disappearing behind it. _Good call._

"You know I used to be a waitress, and I can tell you now, Holly, I was a nightmare," I laugh and I drop the entire knob of butter on top of my pancakes.

"No kidding," she giggles safely behind her newspaper as she turns the page. _Okay smarty-pants._

"So what's new in the world today?" I ask and I start to pour the jug of syrup over my pancakes with no intention of stopping until it's all gone. I suddenly see Holly's hand on top of mine, before she takes the jug away from me.

"No!" she warns, "I watched you eat the G, L, E, C, and K on the way here. That's enough sugar young lady," she pouts before hiding away again, taking the syrup jug with her.

"One date and you are already getting between me and my food? Not good Lunchbox, not good," I smirk as I look at my plate and I pick up my fork and dig into my first pancake.

"You wanna try some pancakes, or are you happy with those dry bits of toast you have there," I ask chewing, and she stretches her arm out towards me and puts the paper down on the table.

"Give it to me then," she insists and I hand her my fork and she raises herself slightly out of her chair and leans over the table and sticks her fork in, holding the opening to her collared shirt to her chest, before sitting back down again. _What? You think I'm going to look down your shirt?_

"You've got some syrup on your lip," I snicker as I point to my own and she evilly smiles at me and picks up her newspaper, and once again disappears behind it.

"You'll just have to remove it later," she says nonchalantly.

"Can I get you ladies a refill?" the waiter interrupts and I lose the train of thought that Holly had so easily planted in my head. I fumble for my cup, nearly knocking over my glass of water as I hear Holly giggle quietly behind her paper.

"Yes, please. And may I get some more butter for Ms Giggle's dry cold toast over there?" I jeer and he nods at me and doesn't even raise an eyebrow. "I'm not funny at eight in the morning it seems."

"Not when it's laced with cynicism, no."

"That's why you're hiding behind your paper isn't it? I am too rude. It's embarrassing to be seen with me," I say and I shovel some more pancake into my mouth.

"Actually, it's more the way you eat," she says as I put half a pancake in my mouth at once.

"Whatever," I mumble and I watch her peak over her newspaper again.

"What?" I ask, and I pull the paper down in front her then she takes it, folds it and throws it over to the cafe window where all the papers are piled up.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asks as the waiter hands her the butter and she starts spreading it on to her toast.

"Dunno. Either drinking or eating I suppose." I haven't actually got plans, I rarely do.

"Do you want to drink or eat with me?" she asks quietly, without looking me in the eye as she takes a bite of her toast.

"Will you be restricting my intake then too?" I ask and she waits to finish chewing like a good girl, unlike me, who still has a mouth full of food when I speak.

"No," she draws out slowly. "I will even pay for it," she continues, and I see her eyes light up as she sees the jam, and spreads some on her toast.

"Be careful, there is a lot of sugar in that," I quip as I move the small container of jam away from her and she raises her hands in the air in dismay, and then slumps back in her chair.

"Are you asking me out, nerd?"

"Isn't it like, obvious?" she bites and I laugh. _I like this._

"I am going straight to work after this, but I finish at 6pm, so... Did you need a lift home after this?" I ask.

"No it's fine, you should get to work," she answers.

"Why don't you take my car today, then you can drop me off, go about your nerdy business and then you can pick me up after? Wait, will I need clothes?" I ask. _What did I just say?_

"Will you need clothes?" she repeats and smiles into her glass of water, and I catch her subtly gaze down my body, before returning her eyes to mine.

"I just heard how that sounded," I moan and I drop my head into my hands.

"What you are wearing is fine," she says and I lift my head up "Sexy even," she conveniently continues, as my eyes find hers, then she purposefully looks me up and down so I really notice. "It's a nice blouse, fits in all the right places," she laughs.

"Stop it, you're making me uncomfortable," I say as I rest my hands under my chin. _She is trying to bait you._

"I know it does, that's half the fun," she retorts and she takes my fork and has another mouthful of my pancakes. "Though you should probably borrow one of my jackets."

* * *

I pull up into the precincts parking lot and turn off the car. I look over to Dov, Chris and Oliver who are leaning against one of the squad cars on the opposite side of the lot, yapping to each other. I undo my seat belt and sink back into the seat and stare blankly out the windscreen.

"Gail, is something wrong?" Holly asks and I turn back towards her and I find her peering around me looking at Dov, Chris and Oliver.

"Nothing," I exhale as she shifts her gaze back to me and looks into my eyes and warmly smiles. She looks so beautiful. _Tell her she is._

"Okay," she says as she opens the passenger door.

"Wait, I" I stammer and I grab her arm, and she closes the door and takes my hand from her arm and holds on to it tightly.

"What?" she asks.

"I -I can't do it." I say and I see a look of fear wash over her face as she wriggles uncomfortably in her seat, and her grip on my hand slightly loosens.

"You can't do what, Gail?" she asks as I watch her eyelids flutter. I always somehow find the shittiest ways to start a conversation. _Look at what you did to her. Fix it._

"I'm not good with words, Holly, I'm not. And if I even attempt it, I know I'm gonna die," I admit. _Not helping._

"Attempt what?" she asks.

"Tell my friends I am dating a woman," I say, and I watch her exhale in some sort of relief.

"You want to tell your friends?" she reiterates.

"Yes, but I have no idea how. It's just going to be awkward and horrible for everyone. I hate having to explain myself."

"Okay, what do you want me to do? Do you need help?" she asks rather tentatively as if she is waiting for me to bite back.

"I don't know. All I know is, I'm not good with words," I frown.

"Maybe you need to approach it differently," she pauses and I shrug. "Gail, you know there are going to be questions regardless of how you tell them, right? They love you, but they will be curious. Are you ready to handle the questions they will throw at you?"

"I think so... But" Is all i get out as she interrupts me. _Did she even listen to what I said?_

"I told you already there is no pressure on my end. I want you to be comfortable. You don't look comfortable, Gail."

"Am I ever comfortable?" I ask.

"Hmm, good point," she sighs.

"Look, I know I don't have to answer their questions if I don't want to, but," I pause, "how do I tell them, nerd?" I whine.

"Maybe you can show them instead," she says.

"Okay... How exactly?"

"Hows this for a scenario. Lets just say we got out of this car right, I could walk around to your side and I call out to your friends, innocently wave, grabbing their attention, because lets face it, who doesn't want to look at this?" she gestures to her body trying to lighten the mood and I push her playfully in the shoulder. "I could perhaps give you a hug or something, then give you a quick kiss goodbye. Then you could take this box of cookies and give them to your friends, and then I'll hop in your car and drive away," she says. _Sounds simple enough._

"Silence them with cookies, interesting. Though I don't think that will work," I smile.

"No it won't," she laughs, "but it won't kill you to be nice and offer them a cookie will it?"

"That would be very out of character for me," I state.

"It could be a day of firsts then," she points out and I slump back into my chair and sigh rather loudly. "Stupid plan though.." she mutters.

"I think there is one problem with your plan," I muse and I open the door and step out of the car.

"Gail, wait! What's the plan then..." she says and I hear the anxiety in her voice. I watch her quickly fumble her way out the door and she starts to walk around the front of the car, cookie box in hand. I turn and lean against the front wheel.

"Hey guys!" I shout out to Dov, Chris and Oliver, and I give them the biggest smile I can muster and I wave. I know even this act kindness from me will freak them out, which is kind of the point; I'd like to render them speechless. They wearily wave back at me, Dov looks completely stupefied and I see Chris grin as he sees Holly pull up beside me.

"Hey, Holly!" he waves. _Oh crap, I forgot about that, he will just have to deal._ She waves to him then places the box of cookies on the bonnet, and I stand up and turn to her and give her the keys to my car. She stares at me blankly, unsure of what's to come.

"I'll see you tonight then?" I ask and she nervously nods. _I thought I'm supposed to be the nervous one._

"Gail..." she hesitates and I step closer towards her and I lean in and wrap my hands around her waist and nestle my chin into her shoulder. "What are you doing," she whispers as her arm softly wrap around my back. I say nothing. I lean back, but stay in close proximity and my arms drop over her forearms and I take hold. I smile at her nervousness and I slowly lean in for a kiss and I hear her breath hitch as our lips touch. It's long, warm and firm. My hands gravitates up her neck and ends up on the side of her face as our lips part and I take a step back and I watch her eyes slowly flutter open. I am still amazed I can have that effect on someone.

"You had a bit of syrup there," I chuckle pointing to her lip. I lean over the bonnet and pick up the box of cookies without breaking eye contact with her. "Later, nerd" I say and I quickly peck her on the lips and turn around and start walking towards the precinct.

"You're insane, you know that right?" I hear her call, and I close my eyes and smile.

As I approach the guys, I see Chris's look of astonishment, and it slowly warms as I get closer. Dov grins like a fool, and Oliver looks at the box in my hands. "Boys," I nod, as I acknowledge their presence, "have some cookies" I say and I throw Oliver the box. "Leave me the A, I and the P or I will kill you." _Dead._


	23. Chapter 21

**Make sure to read the last few chapters, ffnet was crapping itself for a while there, still is actually.**

* * *

Holly turns off the engine as I quickly undo my seatbelt and she follows suit. It's a little weird we are sitting in the exact same place, at the exact same time as we were last week. My driveway. The day she ran away from me in fear, not just emotionally, but physically ran away, fast. It's funny to think that it all started at this very spot.

"Weird," I vocalise, the word accidentally coming out of my mouth breaking the silence that was the last five minutes.

"What?" she asks turning in her seat, curiously raising her eyebrows, but I choose to ignore what I said.

"Sorry. I didn't realise I'd be out working in civilian clothes with my brother today. I probably should have called or messaged, but it got so busy, I didn't get a chance... We weren't going to be late for anything were we?" I ask as I fidget with the bracelet Holly gave me.

She taps me on the knee, "It's fine Gail, seriously. You didn't stuff anything up," she insists, "actually..." she draws out with a cheeky grin, "I am glad you get the chance to change because what I had thought of earlier for us to do tonight, changed in the last hour, so... I was going to drive you back here anyway."

"Okay, this is starting to sound weird." _What the hell has she got in store for me?_

"It is weird, it will blow your freaking mind though, well at least I think it will, I mean it should, I hope so anyway" she second-guesses herself before she happily starts to rock in her seat. "If you can't tell already, I am really excited," she adds.

"No shit, Sherlock." I laugh, and she shrugs her shoulders with a huge grin.

"I love that show," she exclaims jumping in her seat_. Okay then, Nerd._

"Easy there tiger. I really do have to get out of these clothes. Kinda glad I found a tank top in my locker at work. My blouse was not in good shape," I say, as I smell the sleeve of my hoodie.

"Aww, and if I remember correctly, it fit in all the right places," she smugly smirks.

"Whatever, perv," I moan, and I repeat the blush from this morning from when she had said the same thing. "I'm going to have to shower too, is that okay?"

"Please do," she laughs. "You are a little too smelly for my liking." _I am painfully aware of this fact_. "And I hang around corpses all day," she jokes and I childishly poke my tongue out at her.

"So, are you going to make it into my place this time?" I ask and as the words come out I realise that it wasn't very fair of me to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean..." I apologise almost instantly before she has a chance to answer.

"Not one of my finest moments, I must admit," she recalls and I see the anguish on her face. _Gail, you dick_!

"Come on then, let's check out your man pad," she says as she opens the car door and gets out. I hop out to meet her and I catch her hand as I walk past her and I intertwine our fingers as I lead her up to the front door. I think maybe this time if I hold onto her hand, she won't run away from me. "Are the guys home?" she asks and I stop outside the front door and search for my keys in my bag.

"No, they are at the Penny. Dov actually asked me to invite you, but I told him you don't generally hang out with dumb people, so... Wait, except for me of course."

"Of course," she exhales and sweetly kisses me on the cheek. _Hey!_

"You will have to tell me how it all went with them today," she states as I continue looking through the jungle that is my handbag.

"Why don't I let you have your hand back," she chuckles and she removes her hand from mine and places a finger through one of the belt loops of my jeans, which in some way comforts me greatly. _She isn't going anywhere._

I finally find my keys and I open the door. "Hmm, not much to tell on that front, I was out all day, Steve however..." I trail off as I close the door behind us. I place my hand on her lower back urging her forward and into the house. She seems a little tentative.

"Smells like boys doesn't it," I laugh, and I watch her slowly scout the room. There isn't much decor in our house, but she manages to walk around the living area, slowly, sliding her finger along every surface, taking it all in. I am wasting time watching her so I walk across the room, and from the corner of my eye I see her slowly make her way over in my direction before I reach my bedroom. I go straight to my dresser and start to pilfer through the copious amounts of bras and underwear I have collected. I have no idea what I'm looking for, but I don't anticipate her seeing my underwear tonight, but I can't help the need to choose the nicest ones. As I lift up each bra individually and I suddenly l hear a creak on the wooden floor. _She is in your room._

"The lacy blue one," I hear, and I don't turn around as I suddenly feel a little flushed. I just know my face is bright red, and with my ghostly complexion it would be frightfully obvious thing to see.

"So what exactly should I be wearing on this date tonight?" I ask as I try to shake the fact that Holly just chose my underwear, and I hear my mattress strings spring. _She is on your bed._

"You need to be really comfortable. I'd even suggest wearing sweats."

"Gee, how glamorous. What the hell are we doing?" I laugh.

"Never you mind," she sighs and I hear her slump backwards onto my bed. "Oh wow!" she exclaims and for a second I think she is referring to the pair of plain cotton briefs I pulled out of my draw. _That can't be right._

"That is stunning," she says and she abruptly moves about on my bed and I hear two thuds, so I turn around and see her kneeling on my bed, with her shoes off. "I mean that one is too, but, this one, wow!" she says pointing to one of two photographs that hang above the head of my bed.

"Gail, you have a naked lady on your wall," she says cheekily, and I watch her hand stroke her jaw as she pensively takes in the photograph.

"It's called art, Holly," I say as I approach the bed and sit on the edge next to the bedside table which doubles as my sock drawer. "There is a naked man too," I state, for some reason I need to emphasise this fact.

"I know, I saw it, it's beautiful," she says but her eyes gaze almost immediately back to the other one.

"I love this kind of abstract photography. Are they prints? Where did you buy them?" she asks. "I'd love this on my wall." _Would you now?_

My hands start to sweat as I remove a pair of socks from my draw. "Um, no they are the originals, I didn't buy them either." I nervously admit and I wonder if she will be the first to ever figure it out.

"Huh," she breathes out and she relaxes back down into the bed and looks at me. I can't tell if she is waiting for me to say something or if that brain of hers is putting two and two together. I watch her eyes start to slowly close together as she squints at me. To my surprise she stands up on my bed and leans against the wall very close to the photograph.

"That's you isn't it?" she asks quickly looking down at me, before looking straight back at it again. "This stunning photo is of you."

I tug on her jacket, "not so close, Lunchbox," and she smiles but stays put.

"Were you a model?" she asks and I open my mouth to speak. "Of course you were. Look at you,"

"No, I was not a model!" I huff. "This was a once off," I say and she nods in acknowledgement.

"Was it awkward to do? Having someone study you so closely like this?"

"No more awkward than you right now with your face up in my business," I laugh.

"Funny," she jibes.

"Actually no, it wasn't awkward seeing as I was the only one in the room. Take a look at the fine print on the bottom left corner of the matt." I tell her, and she curiously leans in even closer to it, squinting as she takes her glasses off.

"GP, two thousand and four," she says, and she drops back down into the bed and looks at me in amazement. "How?" she asks as she puts back on her glasses.

"You remember when I told you Friday night that my mother made it hard for me to have any free time to myself and if I did do an anything I had to do it in secret?"

"Yeah..."

"Secret," I say as I point to the photographs. "I went to school part time for about a year to study photography when I was 19," I reveal.

"You really are Annie Leibovitz," she says in disbelief and I can't help but laugh. _Ha hardly_.

"These were some of the last pictures I took, in fact, developed, before mum found out, then I quit," I say and she sighs loudly. "She is the only one who ever knew about it, well now except for you." _You should feel special lol_.

"You haven't taken a photo since, have you?" she says as if she knows me so well, and I nod slowly.

"Such a shame," she says shaking her head in disappointment. _Come on it's not that bad._

I hop off the bed taking my pair of socks with me as I grab my underwear and bra from my dresser, the one she so helpfully picked out for me. "Yeah well, I'm a cop now, and I love my job, so... I'm going to take a shower, back in a few.

"Okay, while you do that, I'm just going to go pilfer through your stuff. I think it's only fair," she says, referring to when I did the same to her at the lake house. I stand behind her as she lies back and leans her head against the railing at the foot of the bed and stares up at the wall. _Okay, you really are a perv now._

"Sure you are..." I say sarcastically. "More likely you're just gonna sit there and look at my partially exposed breast in that photograph aren't you?" I quip as I approach the bedroom door.

"We are even then. You've seen mine," she directly implies and I stop in the doorway and put my hands on either side of the doorframe, underwear dangling. I close my eyes tightly. _Oh crap!_

"Don't think I didn't notice you peak down my top the night you asked me out." _Well, they were right there in front of me!_


	24. Chapter 22

**This is a long chapter for me. I was going to split in two and make you wait, but i am feeling generous. I am also impatient. Thanks also to ricepaper butterfly for letting me whine to her about having no words or ideas. **

**I will probably be fixing spelling and grammar mistakes in this in the days to come.**

**Really enjoying the wonderful comments of late. It's nice to see you all take vested interest in these characters and in my story.**

**Gail is a feeling a little blasphemous in this chapter, sorry.**

* * *

My hands grip the edge of the bathroom sink as I watch through foggy mist, the condensation dripping slowly down the mirror, which in turn obstructs my view of our reflections. I close my eyes and take a moment and breathe in deeply in nervous anticipation as I hear her ever so slowly approach me from behind. My skin is burning from the incandescent heat that was my shower and surely anything that touches me right now will go up in flames. If I stand completely still I can feel the light tickling sensation of the remnant water trickling slowly down my body. What was is that Holly had said about these kinds of sensations? I feel her breath against my neck, as she reminds me, whispering in my ear, her breath creating a cooling effect from the different temperature against my searing skin. Who knew nerd speak was so hot? Or cold in this case.

I draw in a staggered breath as she blows air around my neck and across my shoulders making my fingers curl tighter around the edge of the sink. I bite my bottom lip, my teeth almost piercing the thin layer of skin, as she carefully ventures down my spine with her finger, teasing the excess water, touching each vertebrae with the appreciation and care that she does her own work. She gently takes hold of my waist with both hands and lightly rubs circles around the dimples of my lower back, before stepping closer and moving her hands up the sides of my ribs, tracing the undersides of my breasts with her fingers, causing my head to fall backwards simultaneously. Her hands come back to rest around my waist and I close my eyes and turn around, adjusting my hand positions and grip on the sink, her now lose fingers graze the soft skin of my abdomen as I rotate within her hands. I lean back and the porcelain is cold against the skin of my lower back, bringing some wanted relief from this current state of torture she has introduced to every nerve ending in my body. She slides her hands slowly down, her thumbs grazing the sensitive area around my hipbones, and I jerk at the contact. I feel a rush of cool air around my belly button as her hands travel down to my thighs caressing them firmly. My legs nearly give out on me as she reaches my knees, but she continues bit by bit, running lines down my calves to my ankles, brushing the water to the floor. I open my eyes and look down at her and her eyes fix on mine as she silently asks me to step into my underwear. She languidly starts to edge them up, while her thumbs glide against the insides of my legs with a conscious determination. I involuntarily moan as she reaches up my inner thighs, pulling them higher, and as the pressure builds within my..

"Gail?"

My hand suddenly slips backwards on the sink knocking the cup with my toothbrush to the floor. "Jesus fucking Christ!" I bite my tongue.

"Gail, are you okay in there?"

A state of panic starts to set in and it takes me a moment to adjust to my surroundings and for my legs to regain any balance they may have just lost. I step over to the bathroom door and I grab the closest towel, just incase she decides to let herself in, because I wouldn't put it past her. When Holly worries, she really worries.

"Gail?" she repeats.

I still can't answer. I fall rather loudly back against the door, hugging the towel to my chest. An involuntary shiver rocks through my whole body as I recall what just happened to me. _That was um... new._

"Babe, your phone is ringing," she alerts me to my surprise. _Wait, did she just babe me?_

"Did you just 'babe' me?" I call out through the door.

"I thought that would get your attention," she laughs.

I don't know why I am calling her out on that. I called her my girlfriend yesterday, even if it was just to get my point across with added emphasis, or who knows, maybe it was wishful thinking, but she didn't bat an eyelid.

"Did you want me to answer it?" she asks rolling her fingers on the door and I feel the vibrations through my back.

"Ugh y-yes, please," I stammer as I go back over to the sink and turn the cold tap on. _Please don't be my mother._ I rub the mirror with the palm of my hand. "Gail, get a grip!" I tell myself and I stare intently at my rather flushed red face, which seems to be it's permanent colour of late.

"Gail? It was Traci. You left your purse in Steve's car today, she is going to be here in about ten minutes, okay?" she shouts as I splash water on my face.

"Great," I quietly mumble, burrowing my head in my towel.

I frantically look for my bra, finding it where I left it. _OMG! I am so disorientated right now. _I quickly try and put it on, fumbling my way around the clasp at the back. I wonder if I will be this inept when the time comes I have to deal with Holly's bra. _It's you; of course you are going to suck_. "Shit!" I exclaim as I suddenly realise I forgot to bring a change of clothes into the bathroom. Or maybe subconsciously... "Okay, shut up Gail," I tell myself. _Do I even do subconsciously? And when exactly did I put my underwear on?_

"Gail are you talking to yourself in there?"

"Shit! Maybe. I forgot to bring my clothes in," I blurt out.

"So what? Come out and get them then," she says matter-of-factly.

So? _So she says?_

"I mean in a towel Gail, if that wasn't obvious to you," she huffs. It wasn't. "I promise I won't jump you..." she pauses, "much," she adds a few seconds later.

I wrap the towel around my body and fasten it carefully. I don't want any mishaps. I adjust my bra straps as I stand in front of the door and I wonder if she is still out there, ready to pounce_. She just lives to torture me today._

I open the door slowly, and I see her standing directly opposite me, leaning casually against the wall, her hands down flat against it like she is gripping on, but with no success. "I heard that you know," I acknowledge and I gulp. Her mouth is slightly ajar and she not so subtly runs her tongue along the bottom edge of her teeth, grazing her top lip at the same time. _Oh god_. As the tension builds and the knot in my stomach gets tighter, I slowly edge myself along the opposite wall. _Maybe she is really going to jump me._

"Boo!" She yells jumping towards me and she bursts out laughing. I find myself running into the bedroom and closing the door behind me and I hear her laugh slowly fade.

I quickly walk backwards from the door and fall onto bed. I wrestle my towel off because I am so fucking hot and I throw it on the floor, leaving me just in my underwear.

"What is happening to me?" I question as I cover my eyes with the topside of my hands.

The door bursts open, and I don't move. "Look, Gail, I... fuck," is all I hear before the door closes again, and I peak out from under my hand to check if she is actually gone.

"Fuck!" that sounds just about right.

* * *

I hear a knock on my bedroom door. "Gail, it's Traci, can I come in?"

"Yeah, whatever, I was just getting dressed," I sigh as I sit up from the position I'd been laying in for the last fifteen minutes, fully clothed. Traci opens the door and walks over to the bed with a really weird look on her face. _Here we go, what do you want?_

"Gail, I know it's none of my business, and we haven't really had a chance to catch up, but you have to go out there," she says pointing towards the door and I roll my eyes and flop back onto the bed. "Holly is pulling her hair out. She thinks she scared you away with her 'interminable teasing', was how she put it," Traci says using air quotes and I note the look of confusion on her face as I lift my head up towards my chest.

I quickly sit up again, and seriously contemplate telling her that yes, it really is none of her business, but I can't. What's the point? I really don't want to dig myself into more of a hole here. "She didn't scare me, Traci. I scared myself," I admit and she strokes my arm. "I -I, there's," I stutter, "feelings," I continue, "too many god damn feelings," i express and I look at her through innocent eyes. She smiles at me in a smug way that tells me she knows this fact already. She stands up in front of me shaking her head and chuckles as she holds her hands out in front of me, so I take them and she pulls me up off the bed. She turns me around by the shoulders and marches me over towards the door.

"She's just nervous, Gail," Traci reveals as I reach for the doorknob.

"What?" I ask as I stop in my tracks.

"She has never been this nervous around someone in her entire life." _That's her acting nervous? What the hell must I look like then?_

"She told you that?" I ask, and she nods.

"That girl can talk! At least you will always know what she is thinking. C'mon. Get out there and be nervous and awkward together," she quips and she leans around me and nudges the door open pushing me through it.

For a moment I catch Holly smiling at Steve as they sit on the couch talking, but I watch it quickly disappear when she looks up and notices me. I walk over to the lounge and Holly stands up brushing her pants, trying to avoid any eye contact with me. _I must have really scarred you with my semi nakedness_. "I thought you were in the car," Traci says to Steve as she sits down next to him and he shrugs his shoulders.

I gradually make my way over to where Holly is standing. I want to apologise for acting like a crazy person, but there is people around so I grab her hand that is hanging between us instead, and I don't let go. It doesn't take her long before she squeezes it, rubbing her thumb over my knuckle. She knows I don't do words very well. I'm sure she will teach me though, I suppose in a way she already has.

"What were you guys talking about?" I ask.

"I just asked him how exactly he found out about us, but he wouldn't tell me."

"Good," I pout.

"Good? Why is that good," she asks.

"It's embarrassing, now shhh!" I tell her quietly and I watch Steve and Traci eyeball each other in surprise. _Yes, that's right! I know what you guys said!_

Holly looks to Steve and Traci for answers again, but they are too busy gawking curiously at me.

"Did you see us? That first morning on the jetty?" Holly asks them and they say nothing. _Oh god._

"Okay, so it was the next night then, when we were playing on the couch?" she insists sounding so sure of her self and they laugh and shake their heads and I smack my hand into my forehead.

"Seriously nerd, you have to shut up now," I giggle into her shoulder, almost biting her jumper.

"At the park in..." Is all she gets out while laughing, before I cover her mouth with my hand.

"Okay now you are just doing it on purpose," I tell her. "If you shut up, I might tell you later," I whisper in her ear.

"You guys were just running around like a couple of teenagers weren't you?" Traci laughs.

"We were not. Weren't you guys leaving?" I ask angrily and I subtly suggest with the movement of my eyes that they should start moving towards the door or else risk an ass kicking. _My eyes speak volumes it seems._

"You should probably give Holly the ability to speak again," Steve's cautions as he pulls Traci up and they walk over towards the front door.

"Not until you two have gone," I say but Holly removes my hand from her mouth for me, and steps away.

"Lunchbox, where are you going?" I ask, sounding like a possessive child.

"I was going to walk them out?" she says with a smile and holds her hand out to me. "Coming?"

"Um, no, those losers can walk themselves out," I sneer and she walks through the door after them, but turns back and pauses for a moment.

"Good then. Will give me a chance to ask them more questions," she announces, poking her tongue out and slamming the door.

"Ah... Shit! Whatever," I mumble and I walk to the bedroom and grab my handbag and go back out to the couch. I take out my compact and look closely at my face in the tiny mirror. I don't think I can be bothered doing much to this face tonight. I am wearing sweat pants on a date, how fancy can it be after all? I grab my lipstick and take off the lid and as I go to press it against my bottom lip I hear the front door open and slam shut, and I jump in the air in shock.

"Your dead," she smirks at me as she leans back against the door.

"Well so are you! Look what you did to my face!" I trumpet as I turn my head to her revealing the big line of lipstick up the side of my cheek. "I look like a freaking clown!" I exclaim and she laughs and walks over and into the bathroom.

"I hate clowns," she says as she walks out again with tissues in her hand. "Let me," she says as she sits down and takes a steady hold of my chin.

"You didn't spit on that tissue like my mother would did you?" I cheekily smile, but she doesn't look away from the task at hand.

"You could have talked to me about it you know," she says as she dabs the side of my lip.

"I know, but I wanted to save yourself the embarrassment. Your hand was down my pants after all." I state and she pauses and looks me in the eye and bursts out laughing.

"Ha! Yes, I would have like to have lived happily the rest of my life not knowing that, thank you."

"If you had waited a few more minutes I would have told you myself. Instead, no, you had to go running outside after them and embarrass yourself" I say sarcastically and she tries to stop my head from moving with her other hand.

"You want some more lipstick on that face of yours?" She threatens.

"You don't like clowns, and you're the one who has to look at me for the next couple of hours so you better not," I smirk.

She releases my chin from her grip and I look in the mirror, pick up the lipstick again and I start to reapply. I see her fidgeting with the tissues out the corner of my eye. "I know that's not what you meant and I'm sorry," I say, "I was acting like a nutcase, it just you make me feel..." I pause momentarily "I've been a complete basket case all day really," I admit as I purse my lips into the mirror. "You know I put pepper in my cup of tea during work today. Like physically picked up the grinder and ground it into my tea. It was crazy." I exclaim and I feel her chuckle next to me. "I was out at lunch with Steve and yeah, talk about embarrassing. Can I have one of those tissues?" I ask and I take one from her hand and start blotting my lips with it.

"What did Steve say?" She asks and she starts to rip and fold the other tissue into some sort of origami type thing.

"He totally called me out, and said I was thinking about you." _Shit you have put you foot in it now. "_Then he proceeded to laugh at me until the end of the shift, and if he would see me staring at basically anything that wasn't my work he would make cracks at me. It wasn't fun. I was just about ready to kill him before shift ended."

"And what exactly were you thinking about when you thought of me?" She says weakly and innocently looks me eye, and I can't look away.

"Stuff." I say cautiously.

"Stuff?" She repeats and I just nod and she goes back to folding. _What is she making?_ "Were you thinking about stuff in the bathroom before," she says with a slight crinkle at the corner of her mouth, which catches me off guard, and I feel my face turn the brightest colour of red that probably has ever existed on the planet.

"Jesus, would you look at the time," I say as I look at the single small freckle on my wrist where my watch should be and I stand up as she laughs at me.

She grabs my wrist and pulls me back down. "Calm down you nut," she teases. "I can beat that you know," She says as she continues folding. _That better not be a cat she is making._

"Beat what?" I ask.

"The pepper in the tea thing," she says and I turn towards her on the sofa and lift one of my legs up and get comfortable. "At home today, I was writing a follow up report on one of my cases about, let's just say, some bugs and some bones and then some stuff happened when they were together" she laughs, and I so do I, as I appreciate the her attempt to dumb it down for me. A lot. "This report was due by four PM, right? So I started writing by one PM, and I then proceeded to write the exact same summary paragraph, not twice, but three times," she exclaims holding three fingers up, "which I luckily caught by the end, but this isn't even the embarrassing part. I sent the report off to my boss and the Forensic Entomologist via email at three thirty and by four o'clock I had received a three-worded reply back from my boss. Can you guess what it said?" She says and I stare at her blankly. "No you can't, because this is ten times as crazy as your pepper thing."

"Okay, I am hanging by the seat of my pants here, what did it say?" I laugh.

"It said 'who is Gail?' So I'm thinking that is a little weird. Why the hell would she ask me that as I have yet to mention you to her? So my first thought is perhaps your friends gossiped at work and some how it had made it over the morgue, but of course that's ridiculous. Your friends wouldn't do that, right?" she questions and I nod vigorously, "that's what I thought, so I email back saying Gail is the woman I am dating, blah blah," she says and she takes a deep breath. _I am blah am I?_

"And?"

"And my boss replies telling me I," she stops and holds a finger up in front of her face, "sorry!" she says as she buries her head into her chest trying not to laugh and I wait for her to regain her composure. "So she tells me I referred to you twice in my report by name, where really I should have been referring to Calliphora vomitoria," she says and she watches me for a reaction. "It's a type of blow fly?" _Oh wow. Don't react._

"I'm sorry, will you excuse me for a moment," I say and I watch her mouth fall open at my non-reaction. I stand up and look around until I see what I am looking for and I walk over to the kitchen table where Holly had left my phone.

"What are you doing?" she asks as she scratches her head.

I walk towards the coffee table and conveniently stand across from her with the table between us as a buffer. "I am calling my brother. He needs to know that there is someone crazier in this world than me." I laugh I press 1 for speed dial.

"As if. No, your not," she states resolutely shaking her head.

"Um, yeah! I think I am! See this finger? And this green button?" I tease as I move my finger back and forth towards it.

"Gail," she says sternly. "No! Your not! Seriously?" she questions as her anger builds and I step backwards.

"Seriously" I nod in affirmation and I press the green button and hold my hands up with the phone and laugh. "Ta da!"

"Okay, give it to me," she insists as i hold it to my ear.

"Now that's just dirty!" I point out.

"Shut up," she says as she suddenly jumps over the coffee and launches herself at me and I start running towards the kitchen, but she grabs me by the shirt pulling me into her body as I hold my arm out in front of me so she can't reach the phone, but I am fighting a losing battle because she quickly takes hold of my hand that is gripped around it, while she pants in my ear from exhaustion. "You have freakishly long arms you know that, Lunchbox?" I exert and I try and bring any form of oxygen back into my lungs as I wrestle with her arm while I try to escape from the tight hold she has around my waist with her other one. "I really don't want to use my training and kick you in the balls." I laugh and my legs fall out from under me as she knees me in the back of my own knees. We fall to the floor with her hand still firmly tightly wound around mine and the phone and it takes all my strength to flip her over and pin her arms beside her head while I straddle her.

"Can you hear that?" she asks curiously as her eyes dart around the room and her head eventually falls sideways towards the phone in our hands. I lean forward over her, her face now extremely close to mine as we listen for a voice on the other end.

"Um, Steve, she will have to call you back," she giggles and I hang up and I drop the phone almost immediately. I move back slightly from her head and we both burst out laughing, uncontrollably, and I fight the need to breath. "I knew my combat training would come in handy" I say, expelling what little air I have left in my chest. _Cocky much?_ Before I know it, Holly flips our positions and our hands hit the floor viciously above my head. "Ouch!" we yell in unison and we both start to laugh again and she sinks down closer to me so our bodies touch.

As we look into each others eyes our laughter starts to gradually diminish into soft giggles and then the occasional chuckle. I listen to both our labored breathes out of time with each other as my chest rises quickly in and out in front of my eyes as it comes in contact with her own. She bites her bottom lip, a sure fire sign she is about to do or say something and I watch her tentatively close half the distance between our faces, but she hesitates and edges back slightly, so I take the initiative and lift my head off the floor, closing the distance myself and she shuts her eyes as our lips finally touch. When our breathing syncs in time with each other after that initial meeting, I pull away and rest my head back down on the floor. I smile at her and she smiles back with her eyes. _What is she thinking about I wonder? _I notice her hands start to shake on in mine on the floor above my head, and her chest draws back deeply, losing contact with my own and she stops breathing as she slightly opens her mouth to say something. _Okay, seriously, you have to breathe again._

"I hate it when I'm not around you," she whispers and my heart stops, "I don't like the word hate, but in this case there is no other word for it. I really do hate it."

I don't know how, but suddenly everything in front of me seems new. New friend, new family, new sights, new sounds, new smells, new information, new words, even more new words, new memories, new meaning, new understanding (when did I become so deep?) and more importantly new feelings; and there seems to be a lot of those. All different and surprising in their own way.


End file.
